Well, you might as well watch this. When you’re puzzled as to how so many functionally illiterate drones are puked out of public schools across this country, just remember this Salisbury NC teacher.

These are the gems of the NEA – uninformed, uneducated teachers, unable to be purged from faculties across the country due to the power of the unions. Kudos to these kids for exposing what we already knew was going on in our halls of lower learning.

You know, geniuses. Like Chris Matthews. Not that dumb Sarah Palin woman.

Another classic from our boy BigFurHat.

… Work for the Washington Post, apparently.

How desperate is the “All-In” media to polish the turd of Obama’s re-election campaign?  Desperate enough to give top of the fold coverage to half a century old allegations of high school pranks.

Prepare yourself for the nastiest campaign in American history.  And look at that turd shine:

…this morning the Washington Post dropped what had to be an intentionally-timed bomb on presumptive nominee Mitt Romney. Within hours of Obama suddenly deciding to stop lying about his position on same-sex marriage, the Washington Post read Mitt Romney’s teenage mind,  found it anti-gay, and in a huge, attention-getting feature worked hand-in-hand with the Obama campaign to paint their likely challenger as a snooty, wealthy, homophobic, prep school bully.

This is the best they’ve got.

We’re to believe that Mitt The Mormon was running around like a “pack of wild dogs” at the same time that Obama was eating packs of wild dogs.  Guess which one is a five page Washington Post cover story?

Hey, now…didn’t Journolist’s founder work for the Washington Post?  Come to think of it, he still works for the Washington Post!

This screenshot from Memeorandum is the textbook definition of “I got the memo”:

Message received loud and clear.

After Obama’s Epic Fail on same-sex marriage, we have to change the subject to a half century old nontroversy that the bankrupt Washington Post has been keeping its powder dry on for who knows how long.

What’s a bigger story?  An alleged prank from 1965 or Obama’s cocaine use in the last twenty years?  A dog put in a kennel on top of a car or the President eating it?

Why can’t we know what classes Obama took in college?  Why can’t we know his GPA?  How is teenage Mitt Romney somehow fodder for major news outlets but Obama starting his career in the home of a domestic terrorist and spending 20 years in a racist crackpot’s church off-limits?

Old Media, just go out of business already.  The Emperor isn’t wearing any clothes and his only modesty is you covering up his pride with your mouth.

Macaca! Macaca! Macaca! Macaca! Macaca! Macaca! Macaca! Macaca! Macaca! Macaca! Macaca! Macaca! Macaca! Macaca! Macaca! Macaca! Macaca! Macaca! Macaca! Macaca! Macaca! Macaca! Macaca! Macaca! Macaca! Macaca! Macaca! Macaca! Macaca! Macaca! Macaca! Macaca! Macaca! Macaca! Macaca!

Background

You may have noticed that we temporarily dropped off the face of the earth, but fear not, no hate-filled hackers can keep us down.

And just to be clear, this is ghey.

Now they can finally wed…

Pic from kick ass artist Drake Dunaway

If there is ever a need for a guerilla advertising campaign, it’s publishing Iowahawk’s “Life of Julia” parody and wallpapering the world with it.

Admittedly, I was going to run with this idea but that it would only be one panel long.

When “Julia” was conceived, her mother receives federal funds care of the Lily Ledbetter Womb Emancipation Act to abort her and recycle her stem cells through The Race To Cure Capitalism Foundation.

Who to believe?  A blind dissident of China’s one-child policy who has been incarcerated and both he and his family abused by the Chi-Com Nazis or Secretary of State Hillary Clinton whose husband exchanged US missile defense secrets for illegal campaign donations from China.

Quite a quandary.

Earlier today, those legendary defenders of democracy and the downtrodden at the US Embassy in China set the blind activist out on the front porch like Fred Flintstone did to the sabretoothed cat at the end of every episode.  Except by “front porch” I mean “into the waiting batons of the Chinese Army” and by “set out” I mean “kicked out on his ass”.

Enjoying your Smart Diplomacy yet?  A man is begging for his life at the US Embassy and we tell him to take a hike because we don’t want to offend our lead Creditor.  The borrower truly is slave to the lender.

Even after cowtowing to the petulant demands of the small penised tyrants, they still demand an apology.

We didn’t kick out the stray cat immediately so we need to apologize yet they send nuclear material and sell arms to every rogue regime in the world, sponsor hackers to engage in every level of corporate and diplomatic espionage against our country and businesses, protect every copyright infringing knock-off known to man and taint our internal domestic policies by setting record FEC fines for illegal campaign contributions to the Democratic Party.

And we’re supposed to apologize to them?

I used to think that Hillary Clinton had balls but now I can see that Obama emptied her scrotum out when he paid off her campaign debts.  She should have immediately turned around and gotten back on that plane after their vindictive prosecution of this non-violent activist.    But no:

U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said she is pleased U.S. officials were able to facilitate Chen’s stay and departure from the U.S. embassy “in a way that reflected his choices and our values.”

Your values are duly noted.  His “choices” as well:

The blind Chinese dissident who boldly fled house arrest and placed himself under the wing of U.S. diplomats balked Wednesday at a deal delicately worked out between the two countries to let him live freely in China, saying he now fears for his family
…

“Please help me, President Obama.  I need you to get me to America because these crazed sonsofbitches are going to kll me and my wife….argh…bzzt…*gurgle*…ahh..”

It broke off after that point.

That’s not exactly how it went but you can read between the lines.

“The embassy kept lobbying me to leave and promised to have people stay with me in the hospital, but this afternoon, as soon as I checked into the hospital room, I noticed they were all gone,” Chen told CNN by phone.

…

“I would like to say to President Obama: please do everything you can to get our family out,” Chen told CNN, according to a translation of his quote.

In the immortal words of Otter, “You fucked up.  You trusted us.”  It’s Animal House meets Animal Farm with this administration.

It has also been stated that State Department officials delivered the message from the Chinese government to Chen that his wife would be tortured  if he didn’t take his punishment like a man followed quickly by a “Here’s your cane.  What’s your hurry?”

The State Department insists that blind Chinese activist Chen Guangcheng left the U.S. Embassy of his own volition Wednesday and that U.S. officials in Beijing did not convey threats to harm his family by Chinese officials, as Chen claims.

“At no time did any US official speak to Chen about physical or legal threats to his wife and children. Nor did Chinese officials make any such threats to us,” said State Department Spokeswoman Victoria Nuland. ”U.S. interlocutors did make clear that if Chen elected to stay in the Embassy, Chinese officials had indicated to us that his family would be returned to [their home in] Shandong, and they would lose their opportunity to negotiate for reunification.”

Shandong is where the torture typically took place.  I guess as long as the Chinese government is only holding his family hostage in the place where the torture happens  and that he’ll never see them again that, by the legal definition, they did not say the words “We’re going to kill you and your family”.  Not technically.  It’s semantics all the same.

Either way we look terrible in this.  The tiny penised Chi-coms have lost “face” that they want to take out on us as if they really have any reputation worth saving and our State Department and Obama have thrown an innocent man and his family under the bus to placate the worst human rights abuser in the world.

Change!   Now let’s adopt that One Child Policy in the U.S. so we can stop polluting Mother Earth with the disease of humanity.

Want to know why the Obama Administration won’t stand up for this martyr?  Because they agree with the policy he is protesting against.  And while Google and Yahoo help to erase the man’s name from the Chinese internet with a degree intolerance for dissent that would make CREW cream in their jeans.

The WSJ has an opposing view and an overly optimistic one in my opinion of this as the desperate throes of the old regime terrified by a blind man.  I’m pretty sure I don’t want the Chi-Coms collapsing while we still live in ObamaWorld.

Do we really need the Muslim Brotherhood to take over there too?

It’s 3 A.M. at the White House.  The phone rings.  It’s your Secretary of State drunkenly calling you from a dance floor in Cartagena.

This could have been a disaster.

Luckily, the Secretes Service  finished nailing the hotel’s prostitutes early enough in the evening to swoop in and save her from the next Anna Chapman licking her down for information in the club’s crapper.

Yep.  The adults are in charge.  Don’t.  Stop.  Thinkin’ about your hangover tomorrow.

This misadministration is the equivalent of the L.A. looters circa 30 minutes after the Rodney King verdict.  They’re smashing the windows of our reputation and grabbing as many big screen tvs from the public coffers as they can because Darrell Issa can’t haul all of them in front of Congress at the same time can he?

For all of the talk about what poor, poor Obama inherited from George W. Bush, the one thing that he inherited that he totally didn’t deserve was a military that had been built up in spite of his voting record for eight years.  Perhaps I’m just showing my age here when I remember back to 2004 when John Kerry’s 90 day stint in Vietnam meant he was the only man qualified to the lead the country yet now, this manboy, who assiduously avoided military service and hates veterans is taking credit for the years of intelligence research that went into killing Bin Laden.  It was his gutsy call to sleep on it for 16 hours.

Punching Above His Weight: Little Man Sittin' At The Grown Ups Table

My guts are churning just thinking about it.

Organizing a 40 minute Navy Seal tactical strike  under the cover of darkness in the heart of a Pakistani military retiree town isn’t the same as organizing a bunch of union thugs and welfare queens to march on the local bank for the class crime of having credit standards.

Barack Hussein Obama did not “get” Osama bin Laden – George Bush’s military did in spite of him.

Some of the Seals are starting to complain about being used as campaign props.  That’s to be expected the ungrateful mofos that they are.  Do all the heavy lifting and get the shaft whenever it’s brought up.  Obama’s “generally proud of them” some of the time when they can be used.  Or in that special way that can only be appreciated by a Nobel Peace Prize winner with a precision guided team of elite soldiers whose budgets he constantly longs to cut so that rich Georgetown sluts don’t have to raid their Starbucks fund to abort tomorrow’s adderal addicts.

But does anyone think for a second that Obama contributed anything more to the Assassination of Bin Laden other than not saying “no”?

Unlike a beagle slathered in barbecue sauce, Obama’s fingerprints are not on the Seal team Pakistani raid of bin Laden’s slut compound filled with Just for Men, jackin’ rags and flash drives waiting to be leaked to the media before any actionable intel could be used against his network.

No, his fingerprints are all over Bin Laden’s politically correct and religiously sensitive rushed burial at sea so that the Islamic world (who doesn’t buy into al Qaeda’s message at all because it’s a religion of peace) didn’t have another reason to hate us.  Newspapers can gladly publish pics of US troops posing with dead terrorists but we can’t see the corpse of their leader brought to ballistic justice.

It’s not like we spent, oh, a trillion dollars and thousands of lives to find him after all.

That is Classic Obama.  Ensuring that the man who killed thousands of Americans is given a level of respect that he didn’t deserve to placate the heathens from rioting in the streets of the Middle East.  It took guts to spit in the face of 350 million Americans, give or take 3200 of them, to give Bin Laden a proper funeral instead of dragging him back to the land he attacked to swing from a beam in front of Ground Zero as a message to the scum of the Earth.

Gutsy call, indeed.  In that moment, you showed the world exactly where your sympathies lied.  You couldn’t control his capture but you could certainly kiss his ass in front of the world after he was dead.

Night after night I patiently wait for one of these stories to be covered in my nightly infotainment.

• Good Money After Bad – The Education Crisis: Why does throwing billions more not lead to noticeable improvement?
• Is Black Racism, like that espoused the likes by Al Sharpton, just as bad as regular old racism?
• Our Generous Soul: A three part look at the incredible works done by people of faith.
• Teacher’s Unions; do they always act in the best interests of our students?
• Mitt Romney; why a business approach to our nation’s problems might be a good idea.
• Illegal immigration; the difference between nativism and a common sense approach to immigration.
• Academic Greed: Why more government aid causes tuitions to skyrocket.
• Nation of NIMBYs; a shocking and possibly disturbing look at the strong arm tactics and endless lawsuits of the Sierra Club.
• Corporations: Legal entities that people put together to conduct business and create employment.
• Are We Creating a Nation of Slackers? A shocking and possibly disturbing look at questionable majors in our institutes of higher learning.
• Eminent Domain: Tonight we interview a poor minority family ousted from their home by the government.
• Abortion: Two sides of the debate.
• Shameless Extravagance: Meet The Other Fat Cats of Rodeo Boulevard.

Gawd, I could go on…

Every Obama speech from here until election day should be greeted with so many “Woof-woof-woof”s that people think Arsenio Hall is running for President.

This picture is the exact opposite of what Obama did. Plus chewy teeth.

In all fairness, Barack should be forgiven for his past sins against man’s best friend.  Look who he married.  If that’s not proof that he can learn to love a dog then nothing will.

On the other hand, this story from 2010 does seem odd in retrospect:

Obama, Lurie discussed Vick, green energy

Lurie told Peter King of NBC and Sports Illustrated the president praised the decision to hire Vick after the former Atlanta Falcon served 21 months in the Leavenworth, Kan., federal prison and was under home confinement for his involvement in an illegal interstate dogfighting ring, The Washington Post reported.

“The president wanted to talk about two things, but the first was Michael,” Lurie said. “He said, ‘So many people who serve time never get a fair second chance.’ He was … passionate about it. He said it’s never a level playing field for prisoners when they get out of jail. And he was happy that we did something on such a national stage that showed our faith in giving someone a second chance after such a major downfall.”

*Ahem*

Obama Scolds Vick: Don't play with your food.

So the guy who eats dogs (because eating a particular animal transfers their characteristics to you as he said) “passionately” calls the top 1% owner of a football team to ask about his top 1% player to make sure his career is recovering  after going to jail for running a dogfighting ring.  Sort of puts it in perspective, doesn’t it?

Commies, please keep telling yourselves that this is not a big deal.  Americans spend approximately $45 billion dollars a year on their pets.  They get upset watching Sarah McLachlan showing injured ones to raise money for charity.

Your president ate (at the very least) one because he thought it would give him special powers. And it did.  It made him your pack leader.

Woof-woof.

UPDATED 4/18: Nugent feels as persecuted as a poodle at an Obama Ramadan feast. Or something slightly less inflammatory.*

No, not really.  Just the usual suspects hyperventilating deep breaths into their man panties in hopes that the Secretes Service can raise their glazed maws from the line of fresh cocaine and inviting chlamydia of underaged  Colombian gape enough to paint Mitt Romney as some headbanging denim demon.

The only reason why the Secretes Getting Serviced would be investigating Nugent would be because they thought there would be some Wang Dang Sweet Poontang around (link not safe for Think Progress).

Back and to the left.  Back and to the left.  Oh yea.  That’s the spot.

A spokesman for the Secret Service tells us, “We are aware of it, and we’ll conduct an appropriate follow up.”

Appropriate meaning “roto-rooter” or appropriate as in “It’s Ted Nugent and we’ll alert Jimmy Carter of a situation?”

It’s doubtful Mittens will be naming Nugent as Surgeon General of Metal Health but it’s good that the Democommies are giving him this chance to remake his image as something other than Wednesday Night Mormon Jubilee choir.

Thanks, dickholes.

Me?  I’m still waiting for the coveted Dave Mustaine endorsement.

4/12 Update:  Derby Badger don’t care what you think and isn’t apologizing.  So n’yah.

Eric Holder infamously said, I’m paraphrasing here, that we’re a nation of cowards because we will not discuss race in this country.  After the John Derbyshire pogrom conducted this weekend, who can blame us?  He wanted to start a conversation in Taki Mag and what resulted was the usual reflexive cries of racism from the Left and the completely predictable rush to distance themselves from the hint of controversy from the Establishment Right.

So the stain of having Derbyshire work for NRO for all of these years is wiped away by his Shirley Sherrod-esque termination?  Vox Day was right.  This was a true profile in courage by the NRO crowd in between their apple-tinis. It’s like NRO is edited by a legion of David Frums.

In the piece, Derbyshire (whom I only ever previously read his “Impromptus” column at NRO  correction:  I never read Derbyshire – ed.) proposes a fictitious “talk” that white parents should have with their children about and around the “complexities” shall we say in dealing with blacks in this country.  Oh, you have “a talk”???  What a coincidence!  We have a talk as well.  Not terribly unlike the “talk” blacks have been having with their children about how everybody and the system conspires against them.  Which is worse?  Rather, which is least socially acceptable?

We have our answer.  Goose, gander, sauce, et. al?  Not quite.  One is celebrated as an unfortunate necessity and rite of passage in the New York Times and the other is heresy and professional suicide though in many ways they are both rooted in the same self-preservational prejudices.

Does no one remember Je$$e Jackson’s old comment about how, at his age, he feels relief to discover that it’s a white person walking behind him down the street rather than a black person?  Obviously a self-hating racist.

This is certainly not an endorsement of everything in Derbyshire’s column which I would label as intentionally provocative and many portions that I do not agree with at all but as long as everyone is having “the talk” let’s agree that there are two sides to that conversation.  Blacks have a reason to fear the police.  We all do.   No one cares when police abuse white people though.

Oh poor, pitiful white person.  Are those police abusing your rights?  Here.  Let’s sit down with Oprah and talk about how bad whites have it in this country.  That’s how that conversation would go should anyone pursue it.  Which they won’t.

On the other hand, Derb engaged the statistical side of where the real victims are in terms of racial violence in this country.  Whether you’re yellow, white, black, beige or magenta – you are more likely to be victimized by someone who looks just like you the majority of the time.  The myth of white on black violence pales to the reality of black on white violence as everyone saw in the Christian-Newsome murders which did not warrant even a fraction of the attention of the Trayvon Martin case despite being two torture murders over the course of days with a level of cruelty reserved for a snuff film at the hands of subhuman filth that are now getting a new trial because the judge was a pillhead.  Where’s Je$$e and Al and Ben Jealous for this one?

Derbyshire laid his prejudices out on the table as an open invitation to a discussion.  Not seeking converts or acceptance.   If this nation is a country of cowards because we won’t talk about race, Derbyshire’s firing is evidence that it’s not because we won’t talk about race but that we can’t because the politically correct powers that be come after your job first and an honest discussion of the issues never.

Somehow, Derb didn’t think to put that point on his list.

Meanwhile, Al Sharpton was invited to White House for Easter today.  Because provocative, potentially racist opinions are not tolerated in polite society in this day and age.

Hey kids, it’s time to download the newest app!

Help the Angry Libs to knock down oppressive structures like Churches, Hospitals and Universities, because the pigs know that you can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs!

I just can’t quit the Buffet

That’s a hoot. But not as much of a hoot as Corinne’s latest ramblings…

I know that’s right!

Because evidently dead 17 year olds are just the kind of biofuel running Obama’s 2012 campaign.  Based on the comment threads I’ve read, and watching David Pfluffer on Meet the Press, if Obama can start at the toes and roll his way up to Trayvon Martin’s eyes he should be able to squeeze enough political mileage out of his corpse to get 98% of the black vote or more.

All the commies are talking about it and all the people on the right are talking about the way the commies are talking about it.

I get it.  A Latino neighborhood watch leader is accused of being white so that his shooting of an unarmed black teenager will give the black community an excuse to riot over anything not related to the way Obama has totally screwed them all over economically for the last 3 years.  Really, I get it.  It’s a wonderful distraction to galvanize the black vote and poison the well with race before this next election.

If I were a post-partisan, post-racial Earth Healer / attorney I would definitely interject my opinion that what happened in Florida was a hate crime and encourage my friends in the Black Panther Party to put up $10k to kidnap and murder the alleged cracker before the case goes to trial.  Better yet, just post his address and hope some hotheads shoot at the right house like Spike Lee has suggested.  That’s just what calm, cool and collective community organizers bring to the table.

With the proper cross-branding, The Trash Can Through The Burning Storefront Toss can get funding from Michelle Obama’s Move360 program and hold a voter registration drive at the same time.  Can’t let a crisis go to waste someone once said.

Like the Jena 6, Duke Lacrosse and Tawana Brawley, we are a much better country thanks to the awareness raised by ginning up fake hate crimes charges if the alleged victim is the correct color.  Usually a President doesn’t take the time to note the hue of the victim and to what degree they fall in the spectrum near a color that he’s more comfortable looking at in the mirror but these are post-racial times my friends.

If you do not look like Trayvon Martin, you will be given the opportunity to self-lynch and all carbon taxes will be waived if you act now.

And isn’t that what the public is clamoring for?  A nosey, self-righteous, decidedly anti-libertarian prig longing to usurp the mantle of the Meese Commission while our country teeters on the brink of economic collapse?

Stacey McCain is the only kind of McCain I like but this excited defense of Santorum’s snooping streak doesn’t help anyone:

Yes, this is what Santorum says in a statement, one of about two dozen issue-oriented statements on the “Where I Stand” page of his campaign’s Web site. The statement is clear: Santorum wants to enforce laws that the Obama Administration has refused to enforce.

Would you like me to be more specific — because I could, y’know — about some of the clearly illegal obscenity now available online? Perhaps Jedediah Bila or Judson Phillips should contact former Attorney General Ed Meese or former Justice Department official Mark Levin and ask them about this subject. Because I’m reasonably sure that a whole lot of things now available online are, in fact, illegal.

Do we really need to re-fight what prurient community interest standards again?  These aren’t the old days where that shady shop with the tinted windows and neon lights needed to be harangued into the shitty part of town so all the rich people could drive 20 miles out of their way to buy a skin mag and protect their property values.

You pick your battles. While the decline of Western Civilization can be easily accessed by anyone with a $15 internet connection and a curiosity for just how many thick cuts of manmeat some young, sexually empowered feminist can plug into her adventurous pooter at one time, it takes someone as self-righteous as Santorum to decide he wants to play King Pyhrrus and electively fight his way to the top of that sweaty pile of fun flesh to count them on the public dime.

For the children no doubt.  The little lambs shepherded to safety by the self-anointed Smut Smasher.

Like investigating steroids in baseball, Congress should spend the first six months of the Santorum presidency *shudder* hanging out at strip clubs  watching reel after reel at Xhamster and Youporn to determine how many dicks is too many in a gangbang.  And how many are just right for Goldilock’s gash.

How can I put this politely? Ah! Let’s try this: What you want to do with that baseball bat in the privacy of your own home is strictly up to you, but the video is illegal obscenity.

Did that help clarify the issue somewhat?

…

Remember that Rick Santorum has a law degree and spent 16 years in Congress drafting legislation. He knows the law, and he knows the Constitution, and he knows doggone well that the First Amendment wasn’t intended to protect the kind of filth that’s on the Web nowadays.

So, yes, Santorum promised “vigorous” enforcement to shut down operators who are profiting from commerce in illegal obscenity, and you may agree or disagree with that. But this isn’t an issue that Santorum raised during a stump speech yesterday or that is the subject of his newest campaign ad.

No one’s asked him recently.  Ask him now.  See how far he wants to take it.  I’m guessing to third base on the first interview.

So Santorum would not have an issue with a crowdsourced pornography site where users submitted their own videos and weren’t paid for them.  Because the commerce from perceived illegal obscenity is what gives rise to government investigation?  This veers into Tipper Gore parental advisory sticker territory.  What starts out as wanting to protect little Suzie and Bobby from ever stumbling onto Max Hardcore’s oeuvre (NSFW) quickly devolves into an inquisition of Dee Snider as to why he wants to rock and/or whether or not he will be able to take it (short answer:  No, he ain’t gonna take it.)

Filth is in the eye of the beholder and I think everyone knows that Santorum would see filth as masturbation, premarital sex and non-procreative marital sex to music from anyone other than Pat Boone.  Every time you enter the Missus, you needed to be aiming for baby.

Not to conflate the issues as to whether the Establishment Republicans have the fix in against Santorum – they do.  And Gingrich.  And Paul.   The unholy pentagram of Drudge, Ann Coulter, Mitt Romney, National Review and Barbara Bush have all bathed in the blood of goat sacrifice while listening to Ozzy Osbourne’s “Suicide Solution” to ensure that no one but Romney gets to wear the horns and carry the pitchfork at the Republican convention.

Are the attacks on Santorum coordinated by the Establishment?  Almost certainly.

Are the assertions true that Santorum would use the presidency to enforce his brand of Big Government “I know what’s best for your personal / spiritual life” social conservatism?  Definitely.

From Santorum’s website:

Enforcing Laws Against Illegal Pornography

America is suffering a pandemic of harm from pornography.  A wealth of research is now available demonstrating that pornography causes profound brain changes in both children and adults, resulting in widespread negative consequences. Addiction to pornography is now common for adults and even for some children. The average age of first exposure to hard-core, Internet pornography is now 11. Pornography is toxic to marriages and relationships. It contributes to misogyny and violence against women.  It is a contributing factor to prostitution and sex trafficking.

Every family must now be concerned about the harm from pornography. As a parent, I am concerned about the widespread distribution of illegal obscene pornography and its profound effects on our culture.

Pornography, not illegal pornography mind you, just plain-assed pornography – it’s ruining marriages and causes brain damage.  The science is settled!  This isn’t about “obscenity”.  This is about Rick Santorum deciding that pornography period is not good for anyone and by gum he’s going to nip this in the bud.

I don’t know how many holes a bud has but, gee willikers, Santorum is more than ready to shove the hard cock of big government into as many of them are necessary to fuck the freedom out of the first amendment and get us all holding hands and smooching on the couch in between Family Feud and when we go to bed at a decent hour.

From the top one percenter, human stunt blob Harvey Weinstein:

Top Hollywood producer and Obama bundler Harvey Weinstein attend the White House state dinner last night and had nothing but wonderful things to say about the president.

“I’m so thrilled he’s running for reelection, he’s done a fantastic job, and he’s the most underestimated president I’ve seen,” Weinstein said, according to the pool report. “He’s too humble, and his accomplishments far outweigh his esteem, but people will learn that in time.”

This was his “humility” before Day One in office.   Safe to say, his modesty has grown at a rate exponential to our economy under his watch.

Should we ever expect less from the 4th Greatest President of All Time and future point guard of the Chicago Bulls?  Not unless they change their name to the Chicago Bullshit.

Then he could be the owner.  Elect him to the Hall of Fame before the first game.  Put his face on the jerseys.  Provide that everyone learns to distribute the ball evenly and is allowed to take the same number of shots.  Indeed, pay all of the players the exact same amount.  When they lose, he can praise their effort as the model of efficiency right before they file for bankruptcy.

February 28, 2011

But when his presidency ends, Mr. Obama knows exactly what car he wants to buy as his post-presidential ride — a plug-in Chevrolet Volt. “Five years from now when I’m not president anymore, I’ll buy one and drive it myself,” Obama promised 1,600 auto workers at a United Auto Workers union event in Detroit on Tuesday. “Yes, that’s right,” he reiterated, accompanied by deafening applause.

What a piping hot load. Did a cow shit in here? No, it’s just another Obama speech. Predictably, empty promises mouthed to either a bunch of enthusiastic sloped-foreheaded union knuckledraggers or equally enthralled 5th year community college retards en route to till the debt fields for the next 15 years of their miserable McDonald’s slinging lives.  *arf!* *arf!*  to deafening applause.

Would I like fries with that?  Oh, yes you can – add that to my order.

Less than a week later:

Chevy’s electric car, the Volt, is running on empty. With sales lagging and inventories building, GM has decided to idle production of the Chevy Volt for five weeks. During that time, about 1,300 workers will temporarily be laid off.

Because if there’s one thing Obama’s full of more than shit, it’s himself.  I can understand Weinstein’s confusion considering the striking resemblance.

So, in today’s leftist media culture, you’re not allowed to call a slut a slut, but you’re free to mock tornado victims as “greasy spots” on the highway getting smashed by their “God”. Thank goodness there’s no double-standard in the media or these loving leftists might get really nasty one day.

It’s hard not to wish ill upon a sick, diseased soul such as this, but I shall try to refrain. (or at least I’ll refrain from typing it)

UPDATE: Apparently this guy gets off on trying to make a name for himself via making “shocking” statements. Here he is celebrating Andrew Breitbart’s death. I guess this is how the talentless try to get attention.

The best bare-knuckle boxer of the blogosphere has passed.

Coincidence? I think not.

COOTUS promised a radical transformation, so welcome to the third world, bitches.

***No Spoilers***

I grade movies hard, kids.  I try to support films and undermine them depending on what side of the political spectrum that I know they are on.  For example, I won’t be buying Leonardo DiCapricock’s “J. Edgar” liberal gravepissing off Instant Demand any time soon.

However, that can get me burnt sometimes.  I’m looking in your direction An American Carol and Atlas Shrugged (Part 1).

Act of Valor is something else though.  Currently, the liberal critics sampled at Rotten Tomatoes are scoring it 31% while the users are rating it 85%.  Quite a disconnect.

No, these critics want Hurt Locker-ish nuance.  The kind of nuance that wins Oscars.  Deep thoughts that portray our military as mindless adrenaline-fueled killbots who gleefully abandon their families and risk the lives of their fellow soldiers for the thrill of murdering some brown people because life so is like so pointless in America because we have 250 different kinds of breakfast cereal to choose from.

Seriously.  Hurt Locker blows a syphilitic donkey named Pedro.

They need a film where the good guys swim in the gray and the bad guys really are justified in their hatred of us – like they are.  Moreso, that they would prefer Real Actors ™ faking Real Soldier action rather than Real Soldiers pretending to be Real Actors ™.  Because that’s just degrading to see the kind of people Obama handpicked to kill bin Laden prostituting their profession this way:

It’s undeniably reverent of the real-life heroes in its cast, but Act of Valor lets them down with a clichéd script, stilted acting, and a jingoistic attitude that ignores the complexities of war.

What?  Some of the acting and script is a bit stilted.  No more than say the script and dialogue of Aliens.  But for a first outing, the directors did a fine job of addressing the complexities of war albeit from a vantage point traditionally ignored by Hollywood.

As far as “jingoistic attitude” goes, critics are correct that Act of Valor did not produce such heroic nuance like Matt Damon’s “Green Zone” where the audiences were supposed to be cheering when US soldiers were killed.  The critics loved that one and the people left it like an ugly baby on the steps of every movie house it played.

From the Damning With Faint Praise Dept., Rolling Stone’s Peter Travers, frags:

And it’s hardly the fault of these commandos that their acting deserves no salute. In truth, they’re a lot better than Charlie Sheen was in the 1990 crapfest that was Navy SEALs. I don’t know what to make of Act of Valor. It’s like reviewing a recruiting poster.

Frankly, I’m surprised Travers can claim to have seen this movie at all given his field of vision at his advanced age from that far down the end of his nose.  This isn’t a recruiting poster any more than “Alive” makes you want to join a Uruguayan rugby team.

This offering isn’t Apocalypse Now, it’s Apocalypse Eventually.  Kick in the door waving an M4.  A first person shooter with some of the best action sequences I’ve ever seen.  At moments, the tension is as tight as a tourniquet. While the scenes between the Seals and their families isn’t as bad as anything Michael Bay has ever done, the Tom Clancy-like attention to technical details makes up for the lack of Delta Strike Force diaperchanging at home.

There were moments in the theater that were so silent you could hear a shell casings drop.

Definitely worth a look.

7.5 out of a possible 10 sausage links.

They’re just being cockblocked by the vagina dentata that is the Republican party.

But “you hardly post anymore” you’d say.

True.  The world’s gone to shit.  South America’s going to blow up when Chavez dies.  Mexico’s a failed state.  Obama’s foreign policy consists of pissing off our allies and trying to surrender without dignity to the Taliban, as if they are some kind of honest broker for peace, in time for election season.

On the other side of the aisle, the clown show of the Republican Party will enter Ringling Brother’s vaunted third circle at the convention when they unilaterally pick Jeb Bush and Marco Rubio over anyone who is running now.  Because if there’s one thing America’s clamoring for it’s another Bush.

I toyed with the idea of Gary Johnson before I saw him speak.  Herman Cain was never ready for primetime.  Huntsman was Obama’s Mandarin-speaking Manchurian and Michelle Bachmann couldn’t ever get off the ground despite her outfits borrowed from wardrobe of the last Star Trek outing.

Which leaves us with the cream of the crap:  Santorum the Self-Righteous, Romneybot, the always erratic yet quotable Gingrich & the every 3rd world dictator’s idea of a good time – Ron Paul.

With those choices, what’s there not to be excited about?

As someone who’s crawled over broken glass before, let me say that I would gladly do it again to punch a bloody “VOTE” button against Obama regardless of who’s running.  Even for Ron Paul despite my long held hatred of that consistently myopic troll.

I struggle to care.  I love what America has been and what it has historically represented but I increasingly hate Americans themselves.  Too stupid and satisfied to survive on an internet connection and a handout.  57% of them voted for $8.00 gallon gas and then have the nerve to bitch and mewl about it.

This next November isn’t an election – it’s a slow-motion Suicide Watch with a Kevorkian media happily dispensing a veinful of poisonous class envy and State-approved spin to a credentialed but uneducated electorate.

I’d turn the channel if I could.

Is there something magic about going from $3.50 a gallon to $4.00?  I always thought that would have happened at $2.00 a gallon but I evidently underestimated the magnitude of revolving credit Americans were willing to taken on for their cars without stopping off at Home Depot to buy pitchforks and propane torches.

Enter stage Far Left.  The “I Can Invent A Reason To Force You To Buy Everyone Else’s Medical Insurance” President suddenly is helpless in the face of the gas prices that he encouraged.  Get out your bicycle pumps, everybody.  This whole thing can be solved by properly inflating your tires and getting a tune-up:

During an event at the University of Miami, Mr. Obama will discuss the steps the country can take to tackle what the White House sees as an annual cycle of spikes in gas prices, the officials said. At the same time, these officials, who briefed reporters Tuesday on the president’s plans, acknowledged that there is almost nothing the president can do in the near term to lower gas prices.

I’ve lived a couple of years now and “the annual cycle of spikes in gas prices” has never been this bad.

Cut off the gas card to Air Force One and the 22 limousine caravan and see how quick that changes.

The administration officials brushed off the brewing political storm over rising gas prices as an annual affair bolstered by media hysteria. They said the White House anticipated the current spike in gas prices, which they attribute to increased demand around the world, particularly from China.

Has the media been “hysterical” about gas prices?  Up until last week they’ve comatose on the subject of gas prices for three years.  If even one of them had showed anything resembling Terry Schiavo-level animation it would have been nothing short of miraculous.   Under Bush they were apoplectic over $1.80 gas.

Funny how China has increased demand and they make moves to buy Canada’s ethical oil that Obama rejected.  He did reject it, right?

February 6, 2012

On Monday, Stephen Harper, the prime minister of Canada, traveled to China for a week of high-level meetings.  He brought with him a handful of his cabinet ministers, including Joe Oliver, his tough-talking minister of natural resources who, until recently, had been withering in his scorn for the opponents of the Keystone XL oil pipeline, which President Obama rejected a few weeks ago.  The pipeline, of course, was intended to transport vast oil reserves in Alberta to the American refineries on the Gulf of Mexico.

Magic Chi-coms!  No comprehensive energy policy there.  You have something I need so I approach you to buy it with money in my hand.

So Canada thinks that Obama rejected the pipeline.  The environmentally-ill whackjobs take credit for Obama rejecting the pipeline.  Republicans brought it up for a vote several times and Obama rejected the pipeline.  And Obama brags about rejecting the pipeline.

Because the sheer volume of his bullshit is shovel-ready enough to bring the unemployment rate to 0%.  Earlier today in the Cuckoobirdland that is the White House Press Corps / Stenography Pool:

TAPPER: How can you say you have an all-of-the-above approach if the president turned down the Keystone pipeline? And you blame the Republicans for making a political –

CARNEY: But the president didn’t turn down the Keystone pipeline.

This is why no lawyers should ever be President.

“There are no magic solutions to rising oil prices and the pain that Americans feel at the pump,” Carney said.

He’s right about that.  Magic solutions are for healing the earth and stopping the tides from rising with rainbow marshmallows shooting out of a unicorn ass.  It’s not fucking magic to be energy independent through oil.  You either drill it yourself or you buy it from somebody who is friendly to your interests.  You’ve shut down the refineries, lived up to your campaign promise of putting the coal companies out of business and then act shocked when poor and middle-class people can’t afford gas to go to work assuming you haven’t killed their job yet.

Duh, you’re getting three years of welfare so you don’t have to go to yucky work. Between childcare and 25-30% of your take home pay going to the gas tank it doesn’t make sense to go to work and thanks to neverending unemployment benefits – you don’t have to!  You’re welcome.

Who’s up for moving to Australia?  By my count, Mad Max should have been born already and it’s only a matter of time before he joins The Bronze with the last of the V-8 Interceptors.

But it turns out Planned Parenthood didn’t like competing with the Komen foundation’s research for the milky tit of it’s supporters.  Who knew that the group that murders innocent babies for their sumptuous pelts could be so duplicitous?

Karen Handel really doesn’t like Planned Parenthood.

The former Komen Foundation exec – who resigned over a funding dispute with the nation’s largest abortion provider – is lashing out against Planned Parenthood, calling the organization a “gigantic bully.”

In an interview with the Daily Beast, Handel contends Planned Parenthood reneged on a secret deal to keep quiet about the breast cancer charity’s decision to cut off funding to the organization.

You mean the people who brought you abortions without parental notifications can’t keep a secret?

She argued Planned Parenthood made it a political issue, launching a premeditated attack against Komen – something Planned Parenthood denies.

“Planned Parenthood is a gigantic bully, using Komen as its own personal punching bag,” she added.

*sniff*

Quit complaining lady.  You got off easy.  When their doctors show up at your door drunk with a butcher knife and a shop-vac then you should worry.

She said Komen met with Planned Parenthood reps in December and there was a “ladies’ agreement” to end $680,000 worth of grants to pay for breast exams for poor women, and that no one would go to the press about their breakup.

Planned Parenthood claimed it was taken completely by surprise by Komen’s decision to end their funding relationship.

The decision created a backlash of criticism, and complaints subsequently helped Planned Parenthood rake in $3 million in reaction.

I’ve supported the Komen folks for the better part of the last decade with time and cash.  Count me out for your future.  I hope your donors, like your tits, will dry up and fall off for killing at least half of all of tomorrow’s future breasts today.

That’s certainly one way to beat breast cancer.