UPDATE:

The King of Citizen Journalists weighs in.

So does Wizbang.

Likewise, the UNPOPULIST.

The teenage author of the Blaster worm virus has been sentenced to 18 months in prison.

This virus-creating scoundrel will undoubtedly be learning how to download some new types of viruses during his incarceration, courtesy of a different kind of worm.

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That evil Nazi George Bush. Giving Iraqi women the right to vote. What a fascist! What a war crime, allowing Iraqi women a voice in the leadership of their new country.

This is just another horrible result of this illegal war for oil!

UPDATE:

Insufferable bastard John Kerry weighs in, warning us “not to overhype this election.”

In an unsurprising turn of events, Lurch is one of the first jackasses to come out and try to marginalize such a historic occasion. Why doesn’t he tell the voters who risked their lives not to “overhype” their guts and bravery? Unlike most Kerry voters, they didn’t have the luxury of just sitting there waiting for the bus to come get them and take them to the polls and tell them which “buttons to mash.”

Every time he opens his mouth, I’m reminded how glad I am not only that he lost the election, but that he’s still married to that obnoxious bitch Thereeeeezzza as well. It couldn’t happen to a bigger scum-sucking assface. Up yours, loser.

Cold Fury: You on the Left are not seriously concerned about the defense of this nation, its citizens, and its military personnel. You are dead wrong, and you do not deserve to be taken seriously.

Read more – it’s outstanding. Via Instapundit.

Voting in Australia was interrupted by a riot yesterday in Sydney as Wahabi-brand islamofascist dogs protested one of the voting sites where ex-pat Iraqis were voting in Sunday’s first-ever Iraqi elections.

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Well, Shanny wanted me to do a post on the 13 racists senators that voted against Condi’s confirmation the other day, and I gave it a shot, but didn’t come with anything worth posting. And besides, nothing I would have done would have been as good as this cartoon over at Frank J’s place which sums it all up in terms even a 4 year old could understand.

Right Thinking Girl: Hot Gitmo Sex Tips.

There’s a lot more as RTG debunks the whole “abuse” angle being overworked by the anti-American Old Media. And it’s brilliant. Go read it.

First it was the Klan, now it’s the neo-Nazis.

The only logical conclusion I can draw is that the Klan and the neo-Nazis are using the same community-cleanliness-minded PR firm to reshape their public images.

Ex-pat Iraqis are already voting here in the United States in their first ever *legitimate* election back home in Iraq.

The Iraqi Elections Blog is the best place for all-things-Iraq and you should be paying close attention over the weekend. While Iraqis voting in the U.S. are not putting themselves at excessive risk, Iraqis voting in Iraq will be showing great courage when they head to the polls on Sunday.

It is shameful that the Old Media is already downplaying this historical event – much as they did the vote in Afghanistan last fall. Keep an eye on them as they use terms like “fraudulent”, “failure” and “illegitimate”. I, for one, salute those Iraqis willing to risk their lives to better their country.

Michael Jackson’s dad took a short break from beating his wife to tell the Australian newspaper that racism was the motivation behind his son’s legal troubles.

Wait… I thought Michael Jackson was a white mincing pedophile, not a black mincing pedophile.

Grocery store owners “took the law into their own hands” on Monday, justifiably defending themselves and their property against two armed robbers.

The final score? Store owners 2, robbers 0.

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Well, it’s been another fun White Trash Wednesday. What did we learn today?

We learned not to use Butter-Flavored Crisco as lube. We learned not to go meet that 14-year-old girl we’ve been “hot chatting” with on the internet. We learned to be careful when entering Wal Mart.

Hmmm.. oh, we met some new Arkansas bloggers. We finally got that letter from Vernon we’ve been waiting on since before Christmas. We ate a big fat bowl of Spaghetti-Os. We fell in love *again*. We learned some new skills. And perhaps, most importantly, we made a new friend.

Here’s to hoping it’s this educational next week. If you want in, drop Dan a line – it was all his idea.

Though some of us are reveling in the frivolity and merriment of White Trash Wednesday, there is real world news happening at home and abroad.

al-Reuters reports that 31 U.S. troops were killed in a single helicopter crash this morning in the desert of Anbar province in Iraq. Keep these troops and their families in your thoughts and prayers.

At least 9 people have been killed and more than 100 injured in a commuter train derailment in the Glendale suburb of Los Angeles. L.A. Sheriff Lee Baca says it appears that a car was intentionally left on the track to cause the derailment. Has anyone suggested terrorism yet? Seems like a really simple plot to hatch and execute.

The foregone conclusion that was the Condoleeza Rice confirmation as the new U.S. Secretary of State took place today, with 13 racists senators voting no, and 85 voting yes. Still waiting on the list of who voted against the first black female U.S. Secretary of State. If this were a Dim-O-Crack administration and Rice was Joycelyn Elders (thank you Lord for making this a hypothetical), all we would be hearing about today is what a historic day this is… first black female…. blah, blah, blah. Instead, we hear crickets.

We do know, however, how Robert Byrd’s hood voted.

UPDATE:

It appears that my terrorism question has been answered in regard to the LA train crash.

What kind of idiot tries to kill himself this way? Surely he considered the fact that he could cause grave harm to the people aboard the train meant to seal his doom. I hope he’s charged with 1st degree murder for this little escapade. The death toll is now up to 10.

This is the story of Timothy Hutcheson, the white trash carjacker with the heart of gold.

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In honor of our esteemed ex-commenter John Randolf, a/k/a Porky, PiginaPoke, among other pseudonyms, I thought it would be nice to start out White Trash Wednesday with a little Holmes family background. (FYI, due to Randolf’s repeated fabrications and one-trick-pony-style name calling, he had to be shown the door – look for him at a different blog near you) Of course, you won’t be as impressed with the Holmes’ family background as you were with Gandolf’s lineage of patriotic greatness, but perhaps you’ll enjoy it just the same.

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It’s White Trash Wednesday once again. It’s another chance for us white-bread bloggers to apologize to hyphenated-America for all of our transgressions. No one has written me accepting our apology yet, so we’re going to have to keep apologizing until they do so. Hop on board if you want in – there’s plenty of room in the back of the truck!

Bloggers celebrating White Trash Wednesdays today:

• Beautiful Atrocities (check out Jeff’s sexy new design!)
• CrankyNeocon
• Daisy Cutter
• My Vast Right Wing Conspiracy
• Nickie Goomba
• Rachael Ray Redux
• Riehl World View
• Vince Aut Morire

Ted Turner puts down his colorized 1920′s-era gay porn long enough to squeeze piping hot stool out of his colon and his mouth.

Yes, this post is about Tennessee politics, which doesn’t score very high with Six Meat Buffet focus groups, but c’mon, give it a shot… you might even like it.

If you’re not familiar with the Ford family’s Memphis Dim-O-Crack political dynasty, you should be. Most folks know about Harold Ford, Jr., one of our contributions to the U.S. House of Representatives (who is actually pretty reasonable at times, for a Dim-O-Crack), but the real fun is the Ford family at the state and local level.

They’re known far and wide for their tendency towards crime and corruption, including gangland-style brawls with political opponents and a certain state senator firing a gun at truck drivers while driving on I-40 between Nashville and Memphis.

South End Grounds has an excellent quiz for you regarding one of the Ford family’s finest…

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(via Beth)

I signed it, you go sign it. It literally only takes a minute. Our fighting men and women need to know we’re out here and that we support them and pray for them. Thanks for the heads-up, Beth.

Oh, I’m not supposed to say that am I? How insensitive of me. What a brute I am.

Abu Musab al-Zarqawi’s right hand-job man and chief bomb-maker, Sami Mohammed Ali Said al-Jaaf, was arrested during a raid last week in Baghdad.

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(Outside the Beltway via Wizbang)

In some rather unfortunate news, Paige Davis was recently sacked from TLC’s Trading Spaces. Could this be due to her much-publicized stripping for charity last summer? Could it be the now-debunked rumors of an alleged Hilton-style sex tape hanging out there in the ether? Or as Page Six opines, is it the hairdo and weight gain?

Personally, I’m still holding out hope that the Paige Davis sex tape rumor turns out to be true – that’s one I’d actually shell out some hard-earned cash for. But don’t tell anybody.

Just in case you buy into the lie that hardcore liberals really care about our fighting men and women – if you swallow the tripe that they support the troops, this little reminder may help remind you of the truth about their lies.

The photo above is of Sgt. 1st Class Jeff Due, right, a U.S. Army recruiter, surrounded by protesters at Seattle Central Community College last Thursday. These pants-shitting halfwits harrassed Sgt. Due for about 10 minutes, peacefully shouting at him and lovingly tearing up his materials, in the name of peace. Due and his partner had to be escorted out by security, because sometimes peaceful protesters have to turn violent in the name of peace.

Brad R. Torgersen at Pool of Thought says it as well as I ever could:

Do I have permission to question their patriotism now, Old Media?

See also Say Anything, The MUSC Tiger.

I’ve got another assload of g-mail accounts available. I’m not going to make you jump through hoops for the invites, as some un-named bloggers have done, but I do like the way that Beth gave hers away. If you’re active or retired U.S. military, shoot me an email and you get them first. Or you can post in the comments and I’ll send the invites that way.

You’re on your honor though, so don’t be a filthy liar. If nobody snatches them up by the weekend, I’ll just give them away to whomever wants them. One interesting note about g-mail, they’ve enabled forwarding and POP access through e-mail clients, which is pretty damn cool. It’s no wonder they’ve kicked Yahoo & Hotmail’s asses.

In other site news that no one will care about, I am now using Spam Karma for comment and trackback spam eating and it rocks. If you need any WordPress or Spam Karma related help, this is the guy you should talk to. If you’re tired of deleting all those moderated spam comments, it’s the program for you, biotches.

Via Fox News Alert – TV legend Johnny Carson dead at 79. One of the few Hollywood types that I kind of liked. RIP, Johnny.

UPDATE:

Carson: still dead. However, a second Vodka Tonic has reminded me of one of my favorite Carson moments.

It was around 1991 or so, and his musical guest was Morrissey during his Kill Uncle tour. I was a huge Morrissey fan at the time, and I’ve still got the performance on tape. He performed the songs “Sing Your Life” and “There is a Place in Hell for Me and My Friends.” Afterwards, Carson just smirked and looked at him like “who the hell booked this complete sack of shit to perform on my show?!?” You could tell someone was going to get fired after the taping.

Other people are yapping about the passing of a television legend: MUSC Tiger, Short Family, Speed of Thought, ISOU, Aaarrrgggh!, BackCountry Conservative, Ace, Digger, A Small Victory, Jeff Goldstein (in between parmesan posts), and a bunch more, so go browsing and find them.