Sure, I made a few, just like you. I know you’re dying to know what they were and how I’m doing.

1. Revamp my horrible diet. Follow the new Diet Pentagram recommended by the Federal Department of Eating.

2. Be more giving. Help out people from other undernourished parts of the world. Especially when they need help the most. Whether those unfortunate people want my help or not.

3. Don’t catch the AIDS. Apparently it’s really easy to get and everyone is coming down with it, so I’m just going to be extra careful this year. Mrs. Holmes will appreciate this resolution, considering how sloppy I was in 2004.

4. Defend the honor of Neyland Stadium. Refuse to tolerate yahoos from wheat and corn states mocking the toothless hayseeds who visit her and celebrate her greatness. Also, visit Glenn Reynolds’ orchid sanctuary of inner peace and spiritual solitude.

5. Get to know my blogger friends. Perhaps, even get to know too much about them.

6. Find a good dentist. An islamic dentist.

7. Listen more. Especially to old ladies.

8. Eat the entire cookie, not just the middle.

9. Open up to new ideas. Don’t be closed minded to people just because they’re Jehovah’s Witnesses and don’t celebrate their own birthdays. They could be one of the 144,000, so be nice.

10. Pimp the blog. Find a way to make some damn money doing this, no matter what I have to do or who I have to do it to.

Well, I’m doing pretty good so far on most of these. Except for the listening more one. I’ll keep you posted on my progress, or lack thereof.

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 13th, 2005 at 8:28 pm and is filed under Link Drops. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.