A third woman has sued the Gorilla Foundation (an organization founded for the study and preservation of gorillas) for sexual harassment. Why the lawsuits? Koko, the legendary sign-language using gorilla, wanted to see her knockers.

Columnist Dan Judge penned a great column dealing with Koko’s inappropriate behavior in Sunday’s Times-Herald (Vallejo, CA).

I have to point out that, if Koko had been flashing west-coast gang signs instead of requesting some rack, these same complaintants would no doubt be touting Koko’s ability to celebrate diversity.

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I had promised myself that I wouldn’t do any type of Oscar-blogging whatsoever, but I just heard this quote from Chris Rock’s BET-style comedy jam last night and had to share it.

There’s no doubt that this was yet another shot at our troops from the big-hearted patriots in the entertainment industry. We have men and women right now fighting a global war against radical islam and Rock is stupid enough to drop the facade and let us all know how Hollywood really feels about the troops’ sacrifices.

Always keep in mind, when leftists say they “support the troops but not the war,” you can rest assured that, when in like-minded company, they’re celebrating our losses. Thank God they’re in the vast minority.

UPDATE:

Protein Wisdom has more. And it’s much funnier.

Yep, it’s back. Eric at Vince Aut Morire is the only one who has given me a bunch of crap for promising a Sunday Night Poll every week and then failing to deliver. That makes him both my conscience and a rat bastard.

Since it’s Oscar night, and I couldn’t give two shits about who wins what, let’s find out which awards show nauseates you the most. I hate them all, but I probably hate the grammies the most because of the evil nature of the industry and the atrocious quality of the so-called music infecting mainstream radio these days. But don’t let me sway your vote.

POLL IS NOW CLOSED

Islamic Jihad, one of the many interchangeable islamic terrorist groups in the middle east has claimed responsibility for Friday night’s Tel Aviv bombing, which killed four and injured more than fifty.

Shortly after the attack, new Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas sent his special police out to find those responsible, resulting in three arrests.

Some of the crucial tools that the Palestinian police force used to make these groundbreaking arrests include these plastic handcuffs , this police badge , and this special plastic police helmet .

These novelty items are a clear demonstration that Abbas is serious about cracking down on Palestinian-based homicide bombers and their co-conspirators.

Those filthy Canucks north of the border have come out and said that they want no part of the U.S. missile defense program.

Gasp! An international arms race!?!? Egad! Been there, won that.

I have a solution for those faux-Frenchies in Moosehead land – and an improvement to our country’s own strategic defense shield. It’s called the Super Missile Misdirection Magnet.

I haven’t completed the scientific, or effectiveness, portion of the system’s development, but I have completed the initial design. This supermagnet will simply re-direct all incoming missiles towards Canadian territories. As pictured in this helpful diagram:

I’ve already submitted the system to my high-level government contacts, so stand by for news in the mainstream press about this new groundbreaking system. For the time being, we’ll just keep it between you and me.

Oh, wait. I’m supposed to fawn over what a groundbreaking “gonzo” journalist he was, right? Gosh, I sure hope I don’t offend anyone by making the statement: Hunter S. Thompson: Selfish dead asshole.

Why am I taking a shot at his soon-to-be-decaying corpse? New information emerged today regarding the details surrounding his suicide.

So, right there, blowing your brains out while your wife waits for you on the phone: assholish behavior. But he didn’t stop there. His son, daughter-in-law and 6-year-old grandson were also in the house when he shot himself.

So heap all the literary and artistic praise on him you want to, he’s still just a selfish dead asshole. Do I have to turn in my Knox County Public Library card now?

Small Mike has taken down his ForsaketheTroops.Info website. (Thanks for the tip, Linda!)

When you go to the site now, you see this:

Mike then claims that the site was owned by a fictional couple – Scott and Laurie Vogel. Pish posh.

According to commenter Drew, the whole thing was a publicity stunt for his hosting company, which is apparently what he did with his last anti-military website CitizensAgainstTheTroops.Org. You would think that there are better ways to get name recognition than being a complete asshole.

At least one good thing came from this: if you have webhosting needs, you now know who NOT to use…. SMISHosting.Com.

UPDATE: Now Small Mike has dropped all pretense. Forsakethetroops.info is now Small Mike’s personal white-supremacist website. Go see for yourself – or better yet, don’t.

Thanks to commenter Marble for the tip.

The ACLU and a host of other bedwetting leftists are attempting to stop the use of tasers by law enforcement agencies in the U.S.

A sample of activities from Austin (TX)-based pants-shitters the “Austin Spokescouncil”:

For once I actually agree with the ACLU. Let’s do away with the tasers and simply allow the cops to use their firearms. They’re far more effective in stopping criminals anyway.

I’ve got a damn boatload of them. E-mail me if you want one. No requirements.

You may remember this mentally-ill duo from Berkeley who hung a soldier in effigy from the roof of their second home in Sacramento.

Digger has an excellent letter from one of their neighbors, who provides a lot more detail about what egg-sucking dogs these asshats really are. You should go read it now.

Related and quite funny: Curmudgeonly & Skeptical.

Also related: Riehl World View, Cranky Neocon.

Photo lifted from Riehl World View.

UPDATE: Riehl World View: Look Ma, I made an effigy!

This hand-crafted hunk of tree love was specially carved for Presidential election loser Al Gore. Rumor has it that his love for trees finally overwhelmed him to the point that he was driven to consummate his relationship with nature. This is how he did it.

Other lowlights from this week’s trailer park extravaganza:

• Beth and Dan work their current obsessions into White Trash Wednesday.
• Cranky attacks one of my childhood heroes, who, in my opinion is anything but White Trashy. His kid, Robbie, that’s another story.
• Vince brings us the White Trash Mumia Abu Jamal.
• Pile On pays tribute to Catherine Bach – where the hell he found the Daisy Duke/Ace Frehley pic I’ll never know.
• Jawa Hut: Space Incest.
• Dangerous Logic: White trash advertising.
• The lovely Sadie discovers more of Paris Hilton’s phone pix.
• Hector has the quote of the day: “She might be kin, but she’s good to go”.
• Merri cooks up hot dog fried rice.
• Zeke teaches the uninformed about the South.
• Toner Mishap brings us tales from the blue(grass) state.
• Cry Freedom lists five white trash things he’s done and you probably haven’t.
• Beautiful Atrocities & Llamabutchers are uninspired this WTW. Funny, so was I, really.

Not The Donald, you say! He’s rich and famous! White Trash is about behavior, not economics, you sick little monkey.

Yes, that loveable real estate magnate who fires people on TV to America’s delight gets called out on this particular White Trash Wednesday. Why, you ask? Eminent domain abuse, that’s why.

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Jacques “The Worm” Chirac shits in President Bush’s mouth and calls it a sundae.

Sadly, President Bush believes him.

It is a sad, sick shame that President Junior has traveled to France and sucked up to the corrupt, spineless, worthless garbage sack that is Jacques Chirac. Shameful.

Earthquake in Iran?

Now is the time to strike! The Iranian Army still has wobbly legs I bet.

Submitted to C-3PO for analysis.

Save Protein Wisdom.

While ordinarily, I don’t care much for blegging, when it’s one of my favorite blogs, I’ll make an exception. I threw some $$ in his tip jar, so won’t you help Jeff recover from the tsunami of ill-health that has befallen his laptop?

I will say that I don’t know what the hell Jeff was thinking when he bought an HP laptop. HP has some of the worst hardware on the planet.

Don’t worry, he won’t take your money and run off to the bathhouses of Europe like Andrew Sullivan. At least, I don’t think he will.

You can get all your info at blogsforterri.com, My VRWC, Hyscience, Vince Aut Morire and several other blogs that are blogging for Terri. I haven’t been paying much attention to the story, though I know that this week is crucial as her estranged husband is trying to yank the feeding tube this week.

I remember hearing the Terri Schiavo story on Glenn Beck’s show more than a year ago and while I don’t pretend to know everything about the story, it’s certainly worth helping spread the word. So go visit one of the above blogs and tune in.

via Digger’s Realm

You may have read the story of the soldier hung in effigy on the side of a home in Sacramento, CA. Several weeks ago, Steve and Virginia Pearcy, a pants-shitting socialist couple decided that they would exercise their freedom of speech by hanging a soldier from the side of their house in support for Saddam’s Iraqi regime. I’m sure it was meant to be a message of peace and tolerance – so often the faux message of the left – but naturally, it got some folks riled up.

Digger has done some more “digging” and has learned that the couple actually lives in Berkeley (big surprise) and the house in Sacramento is actually their second home. As big-hearted liberals, I’m sure they let the homeless use their second home as a crack house when they’re busy at the Berkeley bathhouses.

Here is a photo of the filthy capitalist couple’s Porsche:

The peaceful message that they’ve displayed on their car’s back window is as follows: FUCK BUSH, FUCK THE POLICE, FUCK THE U.S. GOVERNMENT, FUCK ISRAEL, FUCK SUVS, BURN AMERICAN FLAGS.

They’re just good Americans exercising Freedom of Speech, right? Hopefully, as one of Digger’s commenters mentioned, the people they do business with and represent via their law firms will exercise their own freedom of expression and ostracize the peace-loving couple. Sadly, I doubt that will happen in a cesspool like Berkeley.

UPDATE:

Digger has more photos and info here.

The Carnivorous Conservative has a different take on this week’s goings-on at CPAC.

Showdown at the Laptop Corral if you will.

(via Drudge)

Hollywood elites prepare to receive annoying phone calls from red-state backwoods fly-over country hayseeds.

Sounds like a national security issue to me.

Alert Homeland Security! Paris Hilton’s safety is at stake! Ay caramba! We can’t afford to lose such a rare talent – what that talent is, besides fellatio, I’m still not quite sure.

If I didn’t feel sick as a dog, I’d take the “Paris Hilton Hacked Mobile Phone Notes” theme and run with it, but I feel like shit. I’m sure some other enterprising blogger will see the opportunity and take advantage.

You’d think that “Silent Mike” would have already learned that.

Lord Spatula at Spatula City did some digging and discovered that this guy is the lamebrain behind forsakethetroops.info. More info on that here. Silent Mike’s “official” personal website is here. So don’t be fooled by any unofficial Silent Mike websites. Accept no imitations.

DrewB did some digging of his own and discovered that Silent Mike was also behind another garbagedump of a website called CitizensAgainstTheTroops.Org. This previous site was shut down and an apology offered. DrewB has a copy of that apology, which obviously now rings as hollow as Helen Thomas’ skull.

So here we have an asshat who has spent a good deal of effort deriding our troops – which is particularly odious since so many of our fighting men and women are currently dodging bullets in Iraq and Afghanistan, fighting a war on terror to protect shitnecks like Silent Mike.

More has come to light about Silent Mike – he found a soldier’s digital camera at a Philadelphia Eagles football game and offered to return it to the soldier for $1,000. The story is here at WIXT via Spatula City.

And if all of this wasn’t enough, DrewB dug up some posts – apparently written by Silent Mike – that suggest that he may even be a white-supremacist KKK-type. A sample:

There’s more where that came from.

Silent Mike has shown up in comment threads here and here blathering on about freedom of speech. Well, Mike, here’s the problem with “freedom of speech” – sometimes it has consequences.

When some needledick strolls into the town square and burns an American flag (which I’m sure you’ve probably done a time or two yourself), he is exercising freedom of speech. When an onlooker takes an aluminum baseball bat and crams it elbow deep into that person’s colon, that is a consequence of exercising freedom of speech. Sure, it’s assault and battery and will probably result in jail time, but it is still a real possibility following such an expression of freedom of speech.

Similarly, when you post a website that mocks one of our brave – yes, brave – men or women crippled in combat, you should expect some kind of backlash. I fully realize that your intent was probably to piss people off, and you’ve certainly succeeded.

So feel free to exercise your freedom of speech via recycled anti-military websites. Just know that your 15 minutes are probably about up and I hope, for your sake, that the consequences won’t be more than you bargained for. And good luck with that whole Aryan supremacy thing. It will be interesting to see if the pants-shitting left will show up to support both of your pet causes.

Apparently Hitlery Clinton knows hers pretty well. The Marxist Hag introduced a “wide-ranging election reform” bill Thursday to the delight of Dim-O-Cracks everywhere.

Two of the big changes are (1) allowing felons to vote and (2) making election day a Federal holiday.

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GayGannonGate: I think I finally understand it.

Eric of Vince Aut Morire tipped me to this website: forsakethetroops.info. He was tipped by Raven. (I’m not going to link to it, since I’m sure links are what the sawed-off little prick who started the site wants.)

It’s a website that exposes the truth about how the far left really feels about the military. Or as Neil aptly put it, the site is created by “despicable treasonous bastards” and is “vile and pernicious”.

Here is a sample:

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Even if you’re not willing to tattoo yourself and celebrate her greatness, you blogger-types should give her some linky love. She only needs a handful more links to pass Baghdad Blob (a/k/a Oliver “What u talkin’ ’bout” Willis) in the TTLB Ecosystem. Let’s all pull together and push her over that massive hunk of lame-brained lard. And it will take an assload of pushing to lift her over that walking, talking sebaceous gland.

If you haven’t heard the story of Marine Corps 2nd Lt. Ilario Pantano, you must have spent the last few days waiting faithfully outside your favorite NHL team’s arena waiting for the season to start. It’s not going to happen so listen up.

Lt. Pantano is a U.S. Marine who is being wrongly prosecuted for “murder” in the case of the shooting of two insurgents in Iraq last April.

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