medical health care ultram online iphone spy recorder app
chore electives read read Knobeloch breathy Six Meat Buffet » Blog Archive » New Missile Shield Solution

Preston Taylor Holmes
Knoxville, TN

The Cranky Neocon
Philadelphia, PA

Brian McMurphy
Nashville, TN

San Diego, CA

The O.C., California

Yiddish Steel
San Diego, CA

Parts Unknown, California


The Dirty Dozen...

6MB: The Sadie
Lou Interview

6MB Backup Site

All original content
© 2004 - 2009
Six Meat Buffet

All other content
© Someone Else

Terms of Use

New Missile Shield Solution

February 25th, 2005 at 3:11 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

Those filthy Canucks north of the border have come out and said that they want no part of the U.S. missile defense program.

TORONTO (AP) – Prime Minister Paul Martin said Thursday that Canada would not join the contentious U.S. missile defense program, a decision that will further strain brittle relations between the neighbors but please Canadians who fear it could lead to an international arms race.

Gasp! An international arms race!?!? Egad! Been there, won that.

I have a solution for those faux-Frenchies in Moosehead land – and an improvement to our country’s own strategic defense shield. It’s called the Super Missile Misdirection Magnet.

I haven’t completed the scientific, or effectiveness, portion of the system’s development, but I have completed the initial design. This supermagnet will simply re-direct all incoming missiles towards Canadian territories. As pictured in this helpful diagram:

I’ve already submitted the system to my high-level government contacts, so stand by for news in the mainstream press about this new groundbreaking system. For the time being, we’ll just keep it between you and me.

21 Responses to “New Missile Shield Solution”

  1. canuck Says:

    you need that cloud moved over to the far right, that’s where Quebec is –just some fyi.

  2. The Jawa Report Says:

    Blame Canada
    In light of Canada’s withdrawal for any more participation in the US missile defense program–an announced withdrawal, I might add, coming the same day a succesful test of the system was made–our friends over at Six Meat Buffet have come…

  3. Dan Says:

    If I’m not mistaken, hasn’t the plan always been to try and detonate them over Canada?? ; ) But, um, where is China in all this. And what direction will those be coming from?

  4. Pile On® Says:

    I like it, I like it. It seem feasible, we just have to put our best minds on it.

    Also, I don’t think this is mutually exclusive of my plan to just annex through eminent domain the good parts of Canada like Banff. We would just have to direct the missiles farther east into phrenchie territory.

  5. Raven Says:

    LOL I love it.

  6. jeff Says:

    I agree with Canuck, angle that magnet so the incoming veer off towards the babbling hellhole that is French Canada

  7. Beth Says:

    Oh, but why should they join the program? They know we’ll protect them, as usual–until we deploy The Magnetâ„¢, that is… :mrgreen: Excellent proposal, I must say.

  8. Preston Taylor Holmes Says:

    As far as I’m concerned the whole country is French. From Vancouver (former home of the NASL’s Whitecaps!) to Nova Scotia! Nothing but a bunch of damn faux French bastards. I would like to aim the missiles away from former members of the Kids in the Hall though. And John Candy’s grave.

  9. Glen Dean Says:

    That is hilarious. Maybe you could aim the magnet a little bit east though. That way if it happens to still hit any part of United States, it will only take out the Northeast. We don’t need any part of it hitting good old Jesusland.

  10. Flopping Aces Says:

    They Just Dont Get It
    Oh, you can bet this will have consenquences. My uncle who lives near my parents in British Columbia has been complaining for awhile about the logging policy we have towards Canada, and now you can be sure it will get much worse. Wtf are they thinkin…

  11. Kender Says:

    Good idea. We can have an arms race with canada.
    Let me see now…their navy is what? Three canoes and a bass boat?
    Got it covered.

    Air force?
    Two of those planes that take tourists fishing WAAAAAYYYY up north and land on water. Good to go against that.

    Army? Guys in red coats and funny hats with horses? Nope, thats the RCMP.
    So again…Army? Uuummm…I imagine they are like the MacKenzie Bros…eating donuts and drinking beer…at the same time, you hosers.

    Marines? They don’t have them. You have top be tough to be a marine, and the toughest guys in canada are the hockey players right? Oh, and a few of those bronc riders in Calgary.

    Yeah, we can have an arms race with canada.

  12. UNCoRRELATED Says:

    The old in-and-out from Canada
    Canada has announced that it is opting out of the missile defense program after first announcing that it was opting in. During a raucous parliamentary session in Ottawa on Thursday, legislators complained that the government was “halfway in and halfwa…

  13. canuck Says:

    actually, i must say i’m rather impressed with canada and the way the canadian government has thought this through, about not joining. Beth is right, why would they join? if they joined it would mean they would have to dish out money, and for what? who’s pissed at canada? who would bomb them? AND they do know we’ll protect their asses; in fear of “looking bad”. besides, those poor bastards can’t afford it. what, with paying for welfare and “free” medical and all.

  14. Says:

    Canada Says United States Must Request Permission Before Firing Missiles
    Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin said today that Washington must consult with Canada before launching any missiles into Canadian airspace:

    Yahoo! News (Reuters)—OTTAWA – Canada, which this week refused to join a U.S. missile system designed…

  15. NIF Says:

    Today’s dose of NIF!

  16. basil's blog Says:

    Saturday Brunch:
    For your weekend dining pleasure, we offer you to choose from one of these specialties: Local Favorites BMEWS has a photo. Eyes On The Ball News has the week in pictures. Iowahawk has a Scooby-Doo episode you never saw. phil

  17. Says:

    New Missile Shield Solution (six meat buffet)
    New Missile Shield Solution (six meat buffet)

  18. NIF Says:

    Today’s dose of NIF!

  19. Moonbattery Says:

    New Missile Defense Strategy
    Six Meat Buffet has come up with an excellent solution to Canada’s petulant refusal to participate in our missile defense program. This diagram gives the general idea:…

  20. The Red Republic Says:

    New Missile Defense Initiative
    Six Meat Buffet has an interesting solution to Canada’s refusal to participate in our missile defense program.

  21. Ghost of a flea Says:

    Super Missile Redirecting Magnet
    Canada continues its recent foreign policy of participating and not-participating in its own defense (via Ben). One of our southern neighbours suggests an alternative missile defense solution (via Rusty). At least incoming missiles with be redirected t…

professional resume writing services