Tag Teaming for Terror
March 1st, 2005 at 9:08 am by Preston Taylor Holmes
Impotent micro-phallused terror mastermind Osama Bin Laden has called upon his brother in arms, Abu Musab Muhammed Muhammed al-Zarqawi to launch attacks in the U.S.
Officials have told the BBC that the group’s leadership is reaching out to Iraq’s most-wanted Islamic militant.
US intelligence says it has uncovered a communication from a top lieutenant of Osama Bin Laden destined for Zarqawi.
The organisation is said to have asked Zarqawi to expand his operations to include strikes inside the US.
As al-Zarqawi’s jihad group has now been evicerated to the point of kidnapping and murdering women and children, he may not be in the best position to strike at the Great Satan. Another complication for al-Zarqawi is that U.S. and Iraqi forces continue to zero in on his whereabouts, likely keeping him on the run – always looking for new livestock to copulate with in his new hiding places.
The man, identified as Talib Mikhlif Arsan Walman al-Dulaymi, also known as Abu Qutaybah, was captured during a Feb. 20 raid in Anah, about 160 miles northwest of Baghdad, a government announcement said.
“Abu Qutaybah was responsible for determining who, when and how terrorist network leaders would meet with al-Zarqawi,” the government said.
During the same raid, Iraqi forces also captured another al-Zarqawi aide who “occasionally acted as his driver,” the government said. The man was identified as Ahmad Khalid Marad Ismail al-Rawi, who also helped arrange meetings for al-Zarqawi.
He also is known as Abu Uthman.
I hope that our forces are in the process of extracting every nugget of vital information from Uthman, by any means necessary.
So while bin Laden is trying to drum up a powerhouse tag-team, he may want to look for a better partner – perhaps the surviving Road Warrior, one of the Steiner brothers, Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka, The Universal Heart-throb Austin Idol or Freebird Terry Gordy. They also need a manager to throw a WMD in the ring when the match isn’t going their way (like right now) – I hear Jimmy Cornette is available.
UPDATE:
Prince of Jawas has a photo of the 10-year-old boy recently rescued by Iraqi forces IDing his kidnappers. Let’s hope they get the brutal punishment they so richly deserve.
March 1st, 2005 at 10:28 am
could it possibly be a psyops thing. To get zarkowi to give away his location?
March 1st, 2005 at 10:42 am
does it say “D’oh” on that boy’s shirt?
March 1st, 2005 at 10:55 am
Good question, Annika. I’m not nuanced enough to come up with such an angle on my own.
Canuck, it doens’t say “D’oh” on his shirt, but it does say “D’oh” on those two guys’ faces.
March 1st, 2005 at 1:49 pm
Linky Fatwas
The following people get a fatwa: Vince Aut Morire for supporting Zionist-Crusader forces. Tim for revealing mujahadin funding source. No Easy Answers for mocking Syrian umma brothers. Six Meat Buffet for calling UBL ‘terrorist’. No, Bush is terroris…
March 1st, 2005 at 3:57 pm
Don’t be ridiculous. Everyone knows Terry Gordy is dead. I’m also slightly offended you recommended Jim Cornette over legendary wrestling manager Scott Bowden.
March 1st, 2005 at 4:06 pm
Gordy is dead!?!?! Did his heart explode like Big John Studd’s? What a sad day this has become.
Is Michael Hayes still alive? Oh rage, Oh despair!