Impotent micro-phallused terror mastermind Osama Bin Laden has called upon his brother in arms, Abu Musab Muhammed Muhammed al-Zarqawi to launch attacks in the U.S.

As al-Zarqawi’s jihad group has now been evicerated to the point of kidnapping and murdering women and children, he may not be in the best position to strike at the Great Satan. Another complication for al-Zarqawi is that U.S. and Iraqi forces continue to zero in on his whereabouts, likely keeping him on the run - always looking for new livestock to copulate with in his new hiding places.

I hope that our forces are in the process of extracting every nugget of vital information from Uthman, by any means necessary.

So while bin Laden is trying to drum up a powerhouse tag-team, he may want to look for a better partner - perhaps the surviving Road Warrior, one of the Steiner brothers, Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka, The Universal Heart-throb Austin Idol or Freebird Terry Gordy. They also need a manager to throw a WMD in the ring when the match isn’t going their way (like right now) - I hear Jimmy Cornette is available.

UPDATE:

Prince of Jawas has a photo of the 10-year-old boy recently rescued by Iraqi forces IDing his kidnappers. Let’s hope they get the brutal punishment they so richly deserve.

Posted by Preston Taylor Holmes @ 9:08 am
5 Comments and 1 Trackback | Permalink | Trackback URI

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1. Linky Fatwas
   The following people get a fatwa: Vince Aut Morire for supporting Zionist-Crusader forces. Tim for revealing mujahadin funding source. No Easy Answers for mocking Syrian umma brothers. Six Meat Buffet for calling UBL ‘terrorist’. No, Bush is terroris…

   Trackback by The Jawa Report — Tuesday, March 1, 2005 1:49 pm | permalink

   
   

:: Comments ::

1. could it possibly be a psyops thing. To get zarkowi to give away his location?

   comment by annika — Tuesday, March 1, 2005 @ 10:28 am

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2. does it say “D’oh” on that boy’s shirt?

   comment by canuck — Tuesday, March 1, 2005 @ 10:42 am

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3. Good question, Annika. I’m not nuanced enough to come up with such an angle on my own.

   Canuck, it doens’t say “D’oh” on his shirt, but it does say “D’oh” on those two guys’ faces.

   comment by Preston Taylor Holmes — Tuesday, March 1, 2005 @ 10:55 am

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4. Don’t be ridiculous. Everyone knows Terry Gordy is dead. I’m also slightly offended you recommended Jim Cornette over legendary wrestling manager Scott Bowden.

   comment by Scott Bowden — Tuesday, March 1, 2005 @ 3:57 pm

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5. Gordy is dead!?!?! Did his heart explode like Big John Studd’s? What a sad day this has become.

   Is Michael Hayes still alive? Oh rage, Oh despair!

   comment by Preston Taylor Holmes — Tuesday, March 1, 2005 @ 4:06 pm

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