WTW: Hogzilla

March 23rd, 2005 at 8:12 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

Blogvisitors, meet Hogzilla. Hogzilla, meet the blogvisitors.

National Geographic experts have confirmed the existence of Hogzilla. Word is still out on Sasquatch, however.

ALAPAHA, Ga. – A team of National Geographic experts has confirmed south Georgia’s monster hog, known to locals as Hogzilla, was indeed real — and really, really big.

They also noted the super swine didn’t quite live up to the 1,000-pound, 12-foot hype generated when Hogzilla was caught on a farm last summer and photographed hanging from a backhoe.

Donning biohazard suits to exhume the behemoth’s smelly remains, the experts estimated Hogzilla was probably only 7 1/2 to 8 feet long, and weighed about 800 pounds. The confirmation came in a documentary aired Sunday night on the National Geographic Channel; it will be rebroadcast Wednesday and Saturday.

“He was an impressive beast. He was definitely a freak of nature,” said documentary producer Nancy Donnelly. She said Hogzilla’s tusks — one measuring nearly 18 inches and the other nearly 16 inches — set a new Safari Club International North American free-range record.

I believe it is unfair to Hogzilla to take his measurements after he’s been in the ground decomposing for 6 months. And another question – why wasn’t he turned into a variety of pork products? He could have fed the entire state of Georgia for two weeks. I suppose we’ll never know the answer to this riveting question. While you ponder that, go visit the rest of the White Trash Wednesday oligopoly.

Your White Trash Wednesday bloggers….

UPDATE:

White Trash Wednesday mania has stretched across the pond – visit Kevin at Sortapundit for WTW: UK Style.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 23rd, 2005 at 8:12 am and is filed under White Trash Wednesdays. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

9 Responses to “WTW: Hogzilla”

1. the Pirate Says:
   March 23rd, 2005 at 10:20 am

   Its strange that it took National Geographic to prove that something male actually had sex with Rosie O’Donnell.

2. The Maximum Leader Says:
   March 23rd, 2005 at 10:44 am

   Come on Preston! 800lbs of pork products feeding the state of Georgia for a week? Hell they consume that much in Savannah in a day…

3. jeff Says:
   March 23rd, 2005 at 11:05 am

   I thought it was Maggie Gallagher

4. Hector Vex Says:
   March 23rd, 2005 at 11:40 am

   Isn’t that a photo from Starr Jones’ wedding?

5. Preston Taylor Holmes Says:
   March 23rd, 2005 at 11:40 am

   It’s these observations that reinforce the fact that you are superior bloggers.

6. Armies of Liberation Says:
   March 23rd, 2005 at 12:05 pm

   al-Khaiwani Sprung!
   Its official.
   President Ali Abdullah Saleh declared amnesty to Abdul-Karim Al-Khaiwani, editor-in-chief of Al-Shoura Newspaper, a day after a Sana’a appeal court confirmed the primary court verdict.

   Our efforts in bringing the petition or the weig…

7. Hector Vex Says:
   March 23rd, 2005 at 12:27 pm

   And it’s that kind of brown-nosing that makes us look even better…

8. Sortapundit Says:
   March 23rd, 2005 at 1:29 pm

   White Trash Wednesday: UK Remix
   I got a cousin called Keegan livin’ in America. He’s livin’ in one of them trailer park things – kinda like Butlin’s, but without the Redcoats. He called me the other day to tell me about this thing called White Trash Wednesdays, where loads o’ tr…

9. RTG Says:
   March 24th, 2005 at 12:08 am

   I don’t know what kind of animal you have hanging there in your front yard, but I’m pretty sure it’s already extinct.