Gore-illa Television
April 5th, 2005 at 8:56 am by Preston Taylor Holmes
Al Gore and Google make sweet sweet love, producing bastard television network offspring.
Can you think of anything more exciting than an entire network dedicated to the tedious vision of Al Gore? I get all excited just imagining the possibilities.
The channel will show professionally produced segments as well as viewer-produced videos mostly short in length, running from a few seconds to up to 15 minutes.
This proves that Al Gore finally understands the Dim-O-Crack voter: short attention span requiring VERY short programs, many of which are produced by amateurs who would otherwise be shooting video porn in the San Fernando Valley. But, don’t worry, they’re not going to be a “liberal” channel. They’re going to be middle-of-the-road, just like ABC, NBC, CBS, PBS and NPR.
Gore serves as chairman of the board of that channel.
Smells like another broadcasting failure in the making. Additionally, as if you needed more reasons to hate Google (other than their idiotic news policies and Adsense swindling), they’re up to their asses in this network, eager to help Gore spread whatever video vomit will be spewing out of the 8 televisions who will actually subscribe to the network. However, those 8 televisions will be empowering young people.
If ever a demographic didn’t deserve to be empowered, it’s that one. Hell, they’re too busy buying their I Love Social Security Awareness Bracelets and Trucker Hats.
April 5th, 2005 at 9:29 am
Man this pisses me off…I hate being on the upper end of the 18-34 demographic, because we 33-year olds have NOTHING in common with people in their early 20s.
As my boss told me when I was a bleeding heart liberal at age 22, “Just wait until you start making money…then you’ll become conservative. Just you wait.”
Ah…wise words.
April 5th, 2005 at 9:40 am
That’s right – when the realities of life beat the bullshit optimism out of you…
Man, this network is going to bomb. It’ll be fantastic and full of whining and finger pointing. “The republicans never gave us a chance – it was a conspiracy against us from the start!”
Just like how ‘Air America’ whines about there being a conspiracy against them. No, it’s just that no-one wants to listen to you complain for 4 hours. Now a whole network of whiners? Great.
April 5th, 2005 at 11:20 am
democracks “empowering” college aged students is the same reason they want to “empower” 5 year olds. they believe kids should have rights in making adult decisions –and when you’re 18-25 you’re pretty much still a kid.
i think what pisses democracks off most is how 18-25 year olds are still too self absorbed to care about what is going on around them –the whole reason they don’t get out and vote. who can remember to vote when you’ve got exams and parties to go to. who has time to think about taxes and new laws when making a few extra bucks for beer, and getting laid is just as important –at the time. oh sure, there are a few that actually care about what is going on the world around them; however, they still realize they need to get their own crap together first before worrying about others.
hey, do you think gore will be able to claim he invented the televsion?
April 5th, 2005 at 12:03 pm
He already has, Canuck. Check Merri Musings.
(shameless wife plug)
April 5th, 2005 at 12:19 pm
LOL -eric! i like your wife.
April 5th, 2005 at 4:44 pm
LOL the images are hillarious. They should make a spoof of those shirts that says, “I (heart) being a government leach”.
April 5th, 2005 at 8:57 pm
Algore – the Father of the Internet
Algore, the self-proclaimed mastermind behind the Internet, is now broadening his scope.