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Archive for April, 2005



Confiscation Day!

April 15th, 2005 at 8:31 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

Don’t forget to pay Uncle Sam his tribute today. If you don’t pay him his protection money, he’s going to send some of his boys around and make you pay.

Also, go buy a gun while you still have that right. Once Hitlery gets in office in 2008, you can forget about it.

UPDATE:

Filthy allah has paid his protection money to the Feds. Who else has ponied up their tribute to the mob Treasury? Let me know in the comments – let your irritation flow freely.

Looking for an alternative to our current punitive tax structure? Read about the Fair Tax.

Mr. Pink

April 14th, 2005 at 10:18 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

The lovely Sadie at Fistful of Fortnights has very generously moved me into the coveted “Mr. Pink” spot on her blogroll. I am humbled. This is better than an Instalanche because Sadie is way hotter than Glenn.

A little bit of background is appropriate here – a while back, Sadie converted her blogroll to reflect her Quentin Tarantino fixation. You’ll find such sections as “Resevoir Blogs”, “Pulp Fictional”, “Kill Bill”, well, you get it. The fact that she has Eric from Straight White Guy in the top spot as Mr. Orange, followed by myself demonstrates that she knows where to find the real men – Tennessee. This is just another example of how she frequently demonstrates wisdom beyond her years. Pay her frequent visits.

More on The Features

April 14th, 2005 at 10:02 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

The new Features CD Exhibit A rocks balls.

They’ve just had the video for “Blow it Out” added to Fuse TV and you can (and should) go vote for it. You may have to register or some such. I don’t know for sure – I have a very short attention span.

Anyway, watch the video, for a rock video, it’s pretty decent: Windows Media, Real Media.

Linkage

April 14th, 2005 at 1:00 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

It’s been a while since my last link-drop and it’s long overdue. So let’s see what’s happening out in the sphere that you may or may not have missed.

Rusty reports that CBS‘ 60 Minutes will be interviewing lying Italian Communist Giuliana Sgrena about her harrowing ordeal following her faux-release and faux-captivity in Iraq. There will be so much false information spewed during this interview that televisions all over the country may simultaneously explode.

Eric is having a lot of fun with a new faux-French lefty blog. Check out one of the authors – this guy is absolutely priceless.

Speaking of the filthy French, their Coward-in-Chief, Jacques Chirac must be getting some pretty good kickbacks from Iran these days. LGF reports that Chirac is trying to get the EU to drop their “hard line” against Iranian nuclear development. It’s time to go in and take out their nuclear program now. No questions asked, annihilate them. It’s long overdue.

Have you been tuning into the Citizen Journalist report on Right Talk Radio? I’ve caught all the shows so far and it’s been quite entertaining, though sometimes uncomfortable. They’ve got Ace of Spades on today (one of my daily reads) – 3 PM Eastern. Tune in – where else can you hear the actual voices of real-life A-list bloggers!? On second thought….

Aaron’s cc: brings you a very special version of The Knack’s My Sharona. Speaking of Aaron, tomorrow is the third annual BUY A GUN DAY.

Jeff has a viable candidate for Mother of the Year.

Michelle Malkin brings you more examples of how bedwetting leftists in this country have come completely unglued. They are funnier when they’ve gone completely off the rails.

Garfield Ridge says FREE HENRY EARL! Henry Earl has become a mini-celebrity thanks to the viral nature of the internet, and I’m happy to do my part in setting this Real American Hero free. As Dave at Garfield Ridge so aptly put it, “Until Henry Earl is free, I will not rest. And, once free, I will not rest until he is back in jail.” (via Ace)

Finger Woman Fingered

April 14th, 2005 at 10:00 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

You may remember the story a few weeks ago about a woman who bit into a finger in her bowl of chili at Wendy’s.

Well, it turns out Anna Ayala has a history of filing lawsuits in similar cases. This is why authorities have since searched her Las Vegas home – possibly looking for the rest of the corpse.

(more…)

WTW: Food Stamp Obesity

April 13th, 2005 at 10:05 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

USDA awards MTSU professor $120,000 grant to study food stamp use and obesity.

MURFREESBORO — Charles Baum III, an economics professor at Middle Tennessee State University, says people living in poverty in America have undergone a definite physical change over the last 200 years.

Being poor once meant having a thin, frail body type as a result of lack of food. Now, these individuals are more likely to be not just overweight, but obese, he says.

The Old Media reminds us constantly that millions of kids go to bed hungry every night in America. The reality is that the poor in America have it miles better than those in third-world style poverty. This is reflected in the grotesque obesity that is rampant in the AFDC set. But when did our poor go from stick people to marshmallow men?

Baum traces the change to sometime in the 1960s, when obesity rates began to rise. It was around this time that the Food Stamp Act came into being, which provided food to those living below the poverty level. The idea of a connection between food stamps and obesity has caught the interest of the U.S. Department of Agriculture, and the agency recently awarded Baum a $120,000 grant to study the relationship of the Food Stamp Program to the rise of obesity.

”It’s a two-year study,” Baum said. ”The analysis will try to look at two people that are the same in every way except one is on food stamps and one is not. They may both be living in poverty.”

The study will examine whether those using food stamps are more likely to suffer from obesity than those who do not use food stamps.

At the risk of sounding like a big-government lunatic, when someone uses food stamps, they’re actually spending my money (and the money of all of us who actually pay taxes). Therefore, when Larry Lardass goes and buys 96 cans of Coke and 18 industrial-sized bags of Doritos with food stamps/vouchers, the rest of us are funding their bodily expansion, and ultimately their long-term hospitalizations and multiple operations. If I was using someone else’s money to buy my groceries, I’d damn sure be more conscientious than that. That, however, is expecting far too much from the handout classes.

Could this study lead to the restriction of what can be purchased with food stamps?

Richard Dobbs, director of food-stamp policy for Tennessee, said food-stamp recipients aren’t prevented from purchasing items high in fat.

”The only restriction on food stamps is that they must be used for food items,” he said. ”The USDA is the agency that determines what is an eligible food item. It’s almost anything that can be consumed. There’s been attempts in the past to limit what individuals can buy with food stamps, but they’ve really never gone anywhere.”

Baum said he will provide his results to the federal government, but he has no say in setting policy.

He speculated that if a link is shown between issuing food stamps and obesity, the USDA might become stricter in its definition of food items, eliminating unhealthy choices such as sodas.

Sounds like the results of this study will fall on the usual deaf ears.

WTW: Large Marge Hayes

April 13th, 2005 at 2:00 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

Revenge blogging, the white trash way.

WTW: Hell-Bound Pope?

April 13th, 2005 at 8:43 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

Up with hope, down with Pope!

Just down the road in Newport, TN, you can visit the Hilltop Baptist Church. If I were you, I’d drink a little moonshine before you go, so that church marquees like this one: “NO TRUTH, NO HOPE FOLLOWING A HELL-BOUND POPE” will make sense to you.

NEWPORT (WATE) — A sign in front of a Baptist church in Newport is drawing criticism from other Baptists because of its reference to the pope and hell.

Hilltop Baptist Church has a controversial message on its sign that reads, “No truth. No hope following a hell-bound pope.” The other side reads, “False hope in a fake pope.”

An assistant pastor at the church says the sign’s main message is that people shouldn’t put their hope in the pope alone. He insists the church isn’t trying to say the pope is in hell. He says people are misunderstanding the sign.

The assistant pastor says that people are misunderstanding the part about the Pope going to hell. I guess I can see that. The sign is vague enough to be open to interpretation.

Now, I’m not Catholic and I’m no Theologist, but of all the people I would wager are on the going-to-hell list, the Pope wouldn’t be there. Sure, he’s no Mother Theresa or Princess Diana, but he’s still way up there.

The story behind the story: Reporter Shasta Clark is exceedingly hot.

Your White Trash Wednesday bloggers….

Nick Berg Revisited

April 12th, 2005 at 9:50 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

You may remember the story of Nick Berg. He was one of the first infidels beheaded by islamofascists on video for the world to see. His memory was also sullied by his own Marxist father, who has spent a good deal of time parading around with other mentally ill lunatics at International Answer rallies.

Chad at In the Bullpen has come across photos of how Nick Berg’s body was actually found hanging by a Baghdad highway. You may have forgotten that we’re still hip-deep in a war with radical islam – these photos will help to remind you of the bloodthirsty savages we’re up against.

H/T Jawa Report

Patton Speaks

April 11th, 2005 at 10:40 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

And now a message from the Ghost of General Patton. (Warning: Graphic content, not for the lily-livered)

Hat tip: Mom

I Smell National Championship

April 11th, 2005 at 4:20 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

Vols QB, WR suspended after being charged with assault.

KNOXVILLE, Tenn. – Tennessee quarterback Brent Schaeffer and receiver Bret Smith were suspended indefinitely from the team Monday, a day after they were charged with hitting a student who was arguing with Schaeffer’s girlfriend in a dormitory.

The players were arrested at a dorm where many athletes live. They were charged with misdemeanor assault and released on their own recognizance Sunday after the early morning fight at another dorm.

You would think this is bad news for Vol fans. Absolutely not! We have a long history of recruiting thugs at UT, and when there are a lot of off-the-field incidents (see the mid-90s for example) leading up to a season, we traditionally win a lot of games. And isn’t that what matters? Well, maybe not to the guy with the staples in his head…

According to an affidavit campus police filed in court, student Quantavios Emerson was arguing with Schaeffer’s girlfriend about her cell phone Sunday when Schaeffer hit Emerson in the neck.

The affidavit also said Schaeffer and Emerson grabbed bats but dropped them before hitting anyone and Schaeffer then picked up Emerson from behind and threw him down. Emerson struck his head on the floor and was then hit by Smith, the report said. Emerson needed four staples to close a cut on his head, authorities said.

Contacted in his dorm room, Emerson said he was doing OK but wasn’t ready to comment. Schaeffer’s lawyer didn’t immediately return calls, and Smith could not be reached.

When reached for comment, Phil Fulmer mumbled something about “bad choices” and “waiting to get the full story”, then demonstrated to reporters how he was able to cram two dozen Krispy Kreme™ donuts in his jowls at one time, eliciting gasps of amazement.

Sunday Night Poll

April 10th, 2005 at 11:59 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

The blogosphere has been bursting with the question, “Where is Preston?” My inbox is overflowing with emails, most of which ask questions such as… “are you ok?”, “why aren’t you posting?”,”why didn’t you link to [insert news item here]?”,”I don’t know what to think without your help, why won’t you come back?”,”Where is that $80 you owe me, you bastard?”

This Sunday Night Poll may help you determine where I’ve been over the last four days. I know it’s been hard on you, but I’ll try not to leave you alone like that again, at least not without getting you a blog gigolo for the weekend.

UPDATE:

Okay, so this one was a bit of a dud. However, this poll does prove that my readers know me quite well. Results:

The Pope’s Last Will and Testament

April 7th, 2005 at 1:10 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

The details of Pope John Paul II’s last will and testament are now being released to the public. One of the more interesting items was that the Pope seriously considered resigning in 2000 after he had already become ill and turned 80 years old.

One unexpected passage has leaked out, however, and I was as shocked as anyone to read about this detail in the Pope’s will:

And to Preston Taylor Holmes… I leave him with this promise: When he dies, on his death bed, he will receive total consciousness.

So I’ve got that going for me.

The Real Preston

April 7th, 2005 at 12:07 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

Several folks have complained to me because there is no photo of me anywhere on this blog. Well, that has been remedied by this post.

(more…)

Remindlessness

April 7th, 2005 at 10:34 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

A few Thursday morning nuggets of brutal insanity.

First: This is the video that killed Doug Henning’s music career and forced him into his “fallback career” of magic and the black arts. It’s jaw-droppingly amazing.

Second: If you meet Ron Mexico in an Atlanta-area bar, do not go home with him – unless you don’t mind a little herpes with dessert.

Third: Hey California! In addition to being moronic socialist wards of the state, we’ve just learned that you’re a bunch of fat-asses as well!

Fourth: Speaking of the left coast, out there it’s actually newsworthy when a school district takes steps to kick out the hundreds of kids who DON’T LIVE IN THE DAMN DISTRICT. Next baby step for California, kick the illegal immigrants out of the schools as well. It’s long overdue!

Lastly: Our nation’s worst President, Jimmy Carter, is crying in his soup because he doesn’t get to go on a photo-op trip with President Junior and company to the Pope’s funeral. Kicking Carter to the curb is one of the only decent things President Junior has done lately. Bravo, Junior.

WTW: White Trash Film Critic

April 6th, 2005 at 9:05 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

Okay, so this one is a stretch for WTW. But what the hell do you want from me? There’s only so much you can do with WTW. And besides, don’t you want to read about how Roger Ebert worked to keep an islamofascist terrorist in the country – just so he could keep eating the terrorist’s delightful middle-eastern cuisine? Sure you do.

(more…)

March Madness Ends: DELIVERANCE Victorious

April 5th, 2005 at 2:19 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

The March Madness contest is finally over.

Lewis from the Tennessee blog Deliverance asserted his dominance towards the later rounds and capped off the victory with UNC’s triumph last night. Sure, none of the players can read or write, but that’s not what we pay them for big time college sports, right?

True to my word, this advertisement:

will remain high upon my left side bar for the next month. Those of you unfamiliar with Deliverance should pay Lewis a visit or three.

I will point out that in the final standings, I was able to muster up a second-place finish. So to all you folks in places 3 through 11, IN YOUR FACE! Oh, and thanks for playing. We’ll do it again next year if I haven’t quit blogging by then. Chris Short is none-too-pleased with his seventh-place finish.

Final standings:

Old Media Quandary

April 5th, 2005 at 1:43 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

Which left-wing faux-French-Canadian high-school-dropout will I get my nightly DNC propaganda from now?

Gore-illa Television

April 5th, 2005 at 8:56 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

Al Gore and Google make sweet sweet love, producing bastard television network offspring.

Can you think of anything more exciting than an entire network dedicated to the tedious vision of Al Gore? I get all excited just imagining the possibilities.

SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) – Former U.S. Vice President Al Gore on Monday unveiled his new television network, “Current,” which aims to attract younger viewers with short videos and a tie-in with the popular Google Inc. search engine.

The channel will show professionally produced segments as well as viewer-produced videos mostly short in length, running from a few seconds to up to 15 minutes.

This proves that Al Gore finally understands the Dim-O-Crack voter: short attention span requiring VERY short programs, many of which are produced by amateurs who would otherwise be shooting video porn in the San Fernando Valley. But, don’t worry, they’re not going to be a “liberal” channel. They’re going to be middle-of-the-road, just like ABC, NBC, CBS, PBS and NPR.

“We have no intention of being a Democratic channel, a liberal channel, or a TV version of Air America, that’s not what we’re all about,” he said, referring to the liberal radio network.

Gore serves as chairman of the board of that channel.

Smells like another broadcasting failure in the making. Additionally, as if you needed more reasons to hate Google (other than their idiotic news policies and Adsense swindling), they’re up to their asses in this network, eager to help Gore spread whatever video vomit will be spewing out of the 8 televisions who will actually subscribe to the network. However, those 8 televisions will be empowering young people.

“We are about empowering this generation of young people in their 20s, the 18-34 population, to engage in a dialogue of democracy and to tell their stories about what’s going in their lives in the dominant media of our time,” he said.

If ever a demographic didn’t deserve to be empowered, it’s that one. Hell, they’re too busy buying their I Love Social Security Awareness Bracelets and Trucker Hats.

Flowers

April 4th, 2005 at 11:52 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

Because I don’t have jack squat for you today content-wise, dear reader, I offer you these flowers in gratitude for your loyalty and frequent visits.

This does not mean we’re dating, okay?

UPDATE:

I was just notified that I forgot the Sunday Night Poll last night. First of all, it’s true, I did completely forget – second of all, I wasn’t in a comical mood and I’m sure I would have just come up with something crappy. Will try to resume Sunday Night Poll hilarity next weekend.

Housekeeping

April 2nd, 2005 at 11:29 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

Trackbacks are currently closed until the asshat posting “backgammon” trackback spam is either severely beaten or sent to the bottom of the river with a pair of cement shoes. Bastard.

UPDATE:

Spam defeated. Trackbacks reopened on recent posts.

Pope John Paul II, R.I.P.

April 2nd, 2005 at 3:15 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

CBS television is reporting that Pope John Paul II has finally died. He was the most widely-traveled Pope in history and aided in fighting Communism in Europe, among other countless accomplishments.

He also enjoyed breakdancing:

God bless and rest in peace, Pope.

Yesterday’s Hacking

April 2nd, 2005 at 2:47 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

A loyal reader (who must have been visiting all day long, poor guy) was able to capture some screen shots from yesterday’s hacking. He was kind enough to send them to me and they’re included in this post. Click for larger images.

One:

Two:

Three:

Thanks for being on the ball, Homely, and good luck finding that job you’ve been looking for.

Too Much Fun

April 1st, 2005 at 3:43 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

These people are having entirely too much fun. They need to get back to work before they get fired.

UPDATE:

Go visit California Hammonds and leave a comment there – every comment helps raise money for breast cancer research.

Hit the Trail of Tears, Chief

April 1st, 2005 at 2:39 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

via The Jawa Report and Jeff Quinton

Chief Illiniwek has been banned from attending the Final Four in a fit of political correctness brought on by lawsuits and protests by hypersensitive busybodies and crybabies.

Fox Sports: Top-seeded Illinois is preparing to take on Louisville in the Final Four, but the Illini will take the court in St. Louis Saturday without their mascot.

“Chief Illiniwek,” a student in buckskins, feathery headdress and makeup has been less visible at the school’s athletic events during the past five years.

Why?

Well, trouble seems to find the Chief, as Illinois has been the target of protests, demonstrations and lawsuits, which claim the figure perpetuates a racial stereotype and demeans Native Americans.

The other three finalists’ mascots are expected to attend, according to the St. Louis Post-Dispatch.

Illinois has come under more fire recently when, in a lawsuit earlier this month, the Illinois Native American Bar Association and two individuals filed suit seeking to force the school to stop using the Chief as its sports mascot.

As usual, I was ahead of the curve on this story and mentioned this raging battle last June. Now that the Illini are actually on the verge of a national championship, it’s back in the headlines. It’s just another case of frightened administrators cowering in the corner because of a bunch of half-wits with bullhorns and ambulance chasers with hours to bill.

Student-activist Jen Tayabji appears to be recommending the murder of Chief Illiniwek with this quote:

“All aspects of the Chief and its dance should be eliminated,” said Jen Tayabji, a former Illinois student who is a member of the Progressive Resource/Action Cooperative, a group involved in trying to do away with the Chief and the “Fighting Illini” moniker.

I hope that the local authorities will arrest her for making a threat on the life of the student who portrays Chief Illiniwek.

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