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Archive for May, 2005



Rock for Hyperbole!

May 31st, 2005 at 3:53 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes


Aging rockstar and socialist limey Bob Geldof, worried that the half-dozen Americans who once knew his name have forgotten it, announced his plans today for Live Aid II. Except that he’s calling it Live Aid 8 because he can’t fucking count.

May 31 (Bloomberg) — Musician and anti-poverty campaigner Bob Geldof, who gathered leading rock artists together in the Live Aid famine-relief appeal of 1985, today announced a series of five similar concerts on July 2 to focus attention on the need for “political justice” for the world’s poor.

The free events will be held in London, Paris, Rome, Berlin and Philadelphia, Geldof said at a London news conference televised live by broadcasters including Sky News. London’s concert will include performances by U2, Mariah Carey, Elton John, Madonna, Coldplay, REM and Scissor Sisters. In the U.S., performers will include Bon Jovi, Will Smith, Stevie Wonder, Crosby, Stills and Nash and Brian Wilson.

When discussing Live Aid II’s goals, Geldof says that fundraising won’t be a focus of this year’s event. I guess when he and Bono drove up to the Ethiopian capital’s doorstep with a million pudding cups only to have the Communist government gobble them down in one sitting, he learned a lesson. I have to grudgingly give him credit for learning from that mistake.

This year’s Live Aid is about really big themes – you know the ones – “social justice” and “ending poverty”. You can probably throw a U.N. Global Poverty Tax in there for good measure, though I haven’t heard anyone use that term (yet).

“Charity will never really solve the problems,” said Geldof, who was knighted in the U.K. for his work to end poverty. “It is time for justice, and 20 years after Live Aid people now demand it.”

You can bet your sweet ass nobody in the limey press bothered to ask, “what the hell are you talking about, you dimwitted, burned-out, acid-riddled shitkicker?” They should have, though.

Fearing that a parade of rock-stars may not be enough to drive the “social justice” point home, they brought in screenwriter and “campaigner” Richard Curtis, who started throwing around his own prattle…

Curtis has been at the forefront of the Make Poverty History campaign and added his voice to the arguments.

Some 70 million people have died of Aids in Africa, he said. “We’ve got our own private holocaust going on now.”

If 50,000 people a day died in Europe, leaders would “find the money to solve that particular problem as they walked from the front door at Gleneagles to the reception”, he said.

“It absolutely can be done. In terms of the global scale of finances, it is a tiny amount of money.”

These assholes throw around terms like “holocaust” and “Hitler” like gumdrops. Curtis should be run through with a bayonet on the basis of that comment alone.

Additionally, one of Geldof’s motivations – aside from his massive ego – “are figures that estimate 50,000 people in Africa die unnecessarily every day as a result of extreme poverty.” I’m sure whoever provided Geldof with those figures are from the same think-tank that parades every other unprovable statistic you hear on NPR every morning.

I’m always amazed how concerned Bono and his ilk are about Africa – except those parts of Africa where islamofascist governments are hacking up their populations with machetes. I guess poverty is just sexier than murderous islamic theocrazies to these lackwits.

Tuesday Tidbits

May 31st, 2005 at 9:45 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

In lieu of actual content this morning, here are a few nuggets to whet your whistles, you perverts.

Memorial Day

May 30th, 2005 at 10:55 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

A short history of Memorial Day.

God bless those who have served and are currently serving – and God be with the families left behind.

And ignore assholes like Garry Trudeau and Ted Koppel, who only list names of the fallen as part of their anti-American political agenda.

Today Ophrah Lesson: Lerning to Love Them That Kill Us

May 28th, 2005 at 2:30 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

The queen of daytime psychobabble and heroine to millions of comatose middle-aged sycophantic women has finally been exposed as an islamofascist sympathizer in a recent column by Debbie Schlussel titled “Oprah: Daytime Talk’s Jihadi Sister”.

When she’s not busy playing grab-ass with Dr. Phil, Oprah is doing her best to whitewash radical islam and its centuries of global crimes against humanity, not the least of which was the slaughter of 3,000 Americans on 9/11. Schlussel:

Take “O� Magazine, Oprah’s monthly print version of self-conceit. Like every other month, the cover of the June issue of “O� features Oprah—for the gazillionth time. Unfortunately, also for the gazillionth time, the inside of the glossy mag features Oprah’s unique brand of understanding and empathy for terrorists and radical Islam.

Last month, Oprah’s “O� asked readers to understand “The Heart of a Destroyer,� Mohammed Atta. You remember him—the Al-Qaeda ringleader of the 9/11 hijackers who murdered 3,000 Americans.

But that’s not exactly the way “O�’s “reading room� wants you to remember him.

Beneath a picture of young Mohammed and his smiling sister on the Egyptian beach, “O� exhorts you to read a book that “sets out to understand the hearts and minds of the men behind the photos� of the 9/11 hijackers, a group of “lonely, exiled young men.�

But the fatherless and motherless children who lost their parents to Atta—they aren’t lonely, are they?

The book, “O� tells us, “is a simultaneously passionate, compassionate, and dispassionate book that [doesn’t] indict Islam.� Just what we need—the CEO of the Oprah Book Club urging America’s women to have compassion for Mohammed Atta.

If “understanding Atta” isn’t enough to make you vomit violently out your nose and mouth, this month’s “Oh” Magazine features the tragic tale of a young would-be Palestinian suicide bomber and how she suffered a broken heart.

To add insult to injury, the latest issue, “Oâ€?’s June 2005 edition, demands that we understand the pain and turmoil of Yusra Abdu, a teen-age Palestinian would-be homicide bomber, fiancée of Hani Akad, leader of Democratic Front for the Liberation of Palestine terrorist group. Akad’s group, funded by Libya (one of “Oâ€? Mag’s “Five Places to See in Your Lifetimeâ€?), murdered 27 children and injured 134 when they attacked a Jewish school in Ma’a lot, Israel. Note the map of hate and swastika in the group’s May 22, 2005 Syrian-based newsletter.

But in Oprah’s world, Muslims aren’t terrorists, and terrorists aren’t Muslim (more on that, below). Instead, “O� calls Akad “a charismatic and young rebel.� “O� describes the cold-blooded, hateful Abdu and Akad as “a Shakespearean tragedy.� Yes, in Oprah’s world, Islamic terrorists aren’t terrorists. They’re James Deans, Romeos, and Juliets.

Oprah’s vapid daytime Cavalcade of Drivel seems like a pretty innocuous parade of estrogen-laden nitwittery until you read some of the Queen’s presentations on her deranged interpretation of radical islam.

  • A post-9/11 “Islam 101â€? show —a pandering presentation featuring Jordanian Queen Rania Al-Abdullah. Rania claimed she doesn’t have to wear a hijab head-covering and that honor-killings of raped women doesn’t really happen in her country. Of course it doesn’t, since “her countryâ€? is a swanky Fifth Avenue New York apartment in the US, where she mostly lives.
  • A September 2004 show, discussing the terrorist massacre of children in Beslan, Russia, on which Oprah banned the use of the word Islamic, saying the terrorists “came from the mountains.â€? (Okay, so they were Mountainese terrorists, not Islamic ones.) Oprah stated that the Beslan massacre was “a watershed because terrorists never before killed children.â€? Remember those murdered Jewish kids in Ma’alot (and throughout Israel) by the DFLP? I’m sure they’d disagree with the “Queen of Daytime Talk.â€? If they were still around.
  • An episode on which a guest claimed Jews practice ritual sacrifices of babies. Oprah: “I want to make it clear that this is one Jewish person, so don’t go around now, saying to people, you know, ‘Those Jewish people, they’re worshipping . . . .’ This is the first time I heard of any Jewish people sacrificing babies, but anyway – so you witnessed the sacrifice?â€?
  • Ignoring the mass-murder, rape, torture, and slavery of Black Christians by Sudan’s Arab Muslim government, despite repeatedly teasing a group of Colorado children (who bought some Black Christian slaves’ freedom) that they’d be on her show. She told them the issue was “too complicated.â€?
  • Refusing President Bush’s invitation to serve our country by touring Afghani girls’ schools on his behalf. The normally vocal Oprah had “The View’sâ€? Star Jones speak on her behalf, saying the Bush White House “usedâ€? her.
  • Repeated fundraising for “Women to Women, International,â€? a Muslim women’s charity that claims it stops honor killings, but whose spokeswoman denies that honor killings have anything to do with Islam. Right.

Kudos to Schulssel for having the stones to take on one of the media’s sacred cows – and I do mean sacred cows. Speaking of Schlussel, rumor has it that she will be blogging in the very near future, so keep your eyes peeled for that!

Cross-posted at Conservative Thinking

Speaking of islamofascism – check out Rusty’s Kavalkade of Krapping on the Koran. Now this is a “movement” I can get behind.

Impeach Wilder

May 28th, 2005 at 12:00 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

Tennessee’s senile Lt. Governor John Wilder said a special prayer today on the floor of the State Senate on behalf of his arrested comrades:

“Money was being offered as bait to put somebody in jail,” Wilder said in prayer to God. “That’s wrong, and that’s not Your way.”

Who would have known that the doddering old fool has a hotline to the Almighty? While he’s at it, he might want to pray for a lick of common sense. Also, by the way, John, you may want to check into the ten commandments… I think there’s something about stealing and bearing false witness in there, not that such a thing would matter to you folks in the state legislature.

Four sitting lawmakers, one former senator, a lobbyist and a low-level politico have been indicted and accused of extortion conspiracy and accepting bribes. They were busted after the FBI formed a fake company to seek state recycling contracts and paid bribes for legislation to favor the company.

Wilder called the operation persecution.

“Three members of our family are in hell,” he said from the well of the Senate. “Why? Because they’re legislators.”

No, John, you incompetent fool, it’s because they took bribes.

For those of you unfamiliar with Tennessee politics, Wilder has been disconnected from reality for at least a decade now – and the gap between Wilder’s atrophied brain and the world around him grows wider day after day.

I’d like to personally thank Knoxville’s own Tim Burchett for helping to keep Wilder in his prime position of political power as Lt. Governor. Without Burchett’s complete lack of testicular fortitude, we might have actually been able to send Wilder to the back of the Senate so that he could sleep the sessions away – which is really all he’s qualified to do at this point in his “career”.

I’m so proud of my state legislators this week – not just the ones who got arrested – but the entire group of limpwristed cretins who have been either complicit in similar offenses or afraid to rock the boat while knowing full well that there were shenanigans afoot. I hope at least half our state government is breakin’ rocks in the hot sun a year from now. Then we might actually be able to start over with some actual representative government instead of a bunch of halfwitted jackasses selling their votes like garage sale scrap.

Finally, Pantano Cleared

May 27th, 2005 at 10:31 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

It took long enough, but the trumped-up charges have been dropped against 2nd Lt. Ilario Pantano.

It was a simple case of a soldier doing his job, nothing more. The dickless accuser who was apparently motivated by a personal grudge to try and fry Pantano has been effectively (metaphorically) castrated, and Pantano can get back to business as usual. And business as usual, according to Michelle Malkin:

So, what does Lt. Pantano plan to do? Right now, he’s training troops at Camp Lejeune and hopes to return to combat to serve his country.

God bless him.

God bless him indeed. We need him back out on the battlefield – he’s obviously a good shot!

Related: Defend the Defenders. Consider making a donation to Pantano’s legal defense fund. The charges may have been dropped, but attorneys still cost money – especially effective attorneys.

Background

Lady Vol Ball

May 26th, 2005 at 6:45 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

Brittany Jackson is the only possible argument I could ever see for watching Lady Vols Basketball.

Brittany Jackson’s Official Website

This post has been submitted to Rusty’s trackback festival. And because he “enjoys the ladies”. And Editors in Pajamas wants to start a “trackback chain” which sounds pretty nasty to me.

UPDATE:

It’s absurd for this story to have an update, but it does. You would not believe the amount of hand-wringing and gnashing of teeth going on surrounding Brittany Jackson’s website – particularly on local Knoxville talk-radio.

I heard Jimmy Hyams and John Wilkerson bellyaching on WNOX’s sports show yesterday afternoon about how the site is “inappropriate” and could tarnish the image of Pat Summitt and the Lady Vols.

I suppose Brittany’s site – which shows a very attractive student/athlete in mildly seductive heterosexual-themed photos – does go against the image I have of Lady Vols’ basketball which is that of a bunch of 7-foot bulldykes being cheered on in an arena half-filled with same-sex couples enjoying the only politically correct sport in the area.

Yeah, a website portraying an attractive, heterosexual, white Lady Vol basketball player does pretty much fly in the face of the traditional Lady Vols image. Luckily, Brittany has graduated, so they can get back to rebuilding their tarnished image next season.

Tennessee Lawmakers Dragged out of Capitol in Handcuffs

May 26th, 2005 at 10:42 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

Early this morning, several Tennessee lawmakers were dragged out of the State Capitol Building in handcuffs by the FBI.

A few names have surfaced including Ward Crutchfield (D – Chattanooga), Chris Newton (R- Cleveland), John Ford (D – Memphis). Just heard on the Phil Valentine show in Nashville that there could be as many as 12 arrests as the day goes on. Sounds like hysterics to me, but it does appear that some serious stuff is going down in the State Capitol. And might I add… IT’S ABOUT DAMN TIME!!!

UPDATE:

Add Kathryn Bowers (D-Memphis) to that list. According to WWTN in Nashville, the Feds will hold a news conference in Memphis at 12:00 ET to announce what the hell is going on.

UPDATE 2:

(via Bill Hobbs) More details here at the Tennessean.

FBI agents had interviewed Newton and Bowers earlier this month about a bill sponsored by all four lawmakers, among others, Newton said Monday.

The bill would have allowed electronic recycling companies to contract with the state to dispose of surplus state computer equipment not claimed by school districts. Newton said it was pushed by E-Cycle Management Inc., an Atlanta-area company, and Charles Love, a Hamilton County school board member and lobbyist.

Newton said the bill was clean and had satisfactorily answered several questions raised earlier by the state comptroller’s office. But Newton said he forced the bill to stall in a committee earlier this year, after Ford became embroiled in several ethics controversies over his dealings with state contractors.

“I don’t want to be in the middle of something that even has an appearance of impropriety,” Newton said.

Newton said he had not had any conversations with Ford about the bill, which he planned to withdraw Wednesday because Love had not registered with the state as a lobbyist.

I have a feeling that’s just a small piece of the puzzle.

UPDATE 3:

The Tennessean has updated its story after the FBI press conference in Memphis. Also arrested, former State Senator Roscoe Dixon, Dixon crony Barry Myers, and Charles Love, Hamilton County school board member and lobbyist. John Ford took at least $55K in bribes according to the indictments.

UPDATE 4:

Newschannel5 Nashville has all the indictments in pdf format here.

Today, we may get a black eye in the national media for what will rightfully appear to be rampant corruption throughout our state government. However, it’s a great day for average Tennesseans (like myself) who are sick of the crooked bastards running our state government – Republicrats and Demicans alike. Let the sweeping begin! Bring in the 8-story bottle of Clorox Clean-up to clean up the filth they’ve left behind.

Other coverage of this breaking story:

High School Valedictorian Punished for Telling the Truth

May 26th, 2005 at 10:33 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

Abe Stoklasa, class Valedictorian at Eagleville High School near Murfreesboro, Tennessee, had his diploma withheld for telling the truth about government schools during his graduation speech.

(more…)

He Should Have Used a Closed Fist off the Top Rope

May 26th, 2005 at 9:10 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

Burt Reynolds allegedly slapped a CBS television news producer in the face yesterday outside of the premiere of his new re-hashed movie “The Longest Yard”.

NEW YORK — Burt Reynolds’ spokesman says the actor was just being playful when he slapped a television producer in the face at a movie premiere.

The producer was asking Reynolds on camera about his new movie, “The Longest Yard,” outside a premiere Tuesday when Reynolds appeared to become annoyed.

“You don’t know anything about the movie?” Reynolds, 69, asked the producer for CBS NEWSPATH.

The producer acknowledged he hadn’t seen it or the original 1974 version–and then Reynolds smacked him.

“What … kind of guy are you?” Reynolds asked.

The producer was just outside camera range when Reynolds delivered a quick but audible slap.

He should have used a closed fist and actually made decent contact with the producer’s (likely) glass jaw. However, this whole story reminds me of another classic slapping incident – it was July of 1982 and Jerry Lawler and Andy Kaufman were appearing together on the David Letterman show on NBC (you remember… back when it didn’t suck).

From Random House’s transcript:

Letterman: Jerry Lawler and Andy Kaufman are here. Now, we saw the tapes that allegedly provoked Mr. Lawler into the match. Andy, why did you do that? That didn’t seem like a very nice thing to do there.

Kaufman: Um, I don’t see how, uh, you could get, a person could get so mad from that. I was playing bad guy–that’s what I was doing. I was playing bad-guy wrestler–it was a role I was playing. I wasn’t serious about it. I don’t take things like that seriously. Like: I am a star, I’m from–You know, that was just a role I was playing, you know?

Letterman: Was it a scam?

Lawler: I couldn’t warm up to this guy if we were cremated together. He is a wimp. That’s exactly what he thought–that’s what he thought about wrestling. He thinks it’s all a big joke–a big fix or whatever. And then you’re right–there are a lot of people that think that.

Kaufman: As far as I’m concerned, you’re nothing but a redneck. And you’re just trying to prove a point, ’cause I was a Yankee. And I heard this from so many people in Memphis. I was going down there, and because you believed all that stuff that I was saying–

Lawler: There are a lot of people that think that way, and he was one of ‘em. And I did to Andy exactly what I would like to everybody that thinks that way.

Kaufman: You’re lucky I didn’t sue you!

Lawler: It was a chance to show him exactly what it’s really like. And you found out what it’s really like.

Kaufman: ‘Cause let me tell you something. My father said, my manager said–they all said that I had a right. I could have gotten a lawyer, and I could have sued you for what you did. And I didn’t. And I just–all I want is an apology. Even you asked me, the last time I was on your show, if I was gonna have a lawsuit.

Letterman: That’s right, yeah.

Kaufman: And I could have sued you. I could have sued you for everything you’re worth. And I didn’t, because I’m not that kind of a guy.

Letterman: Yeah. You know what–

Lawler: What kind of a guy are you?

Letterman: And I’ll just be over here… We’re going to pause here for station identification, and get the hose…

(Andy and Lawler quarrel in background. Lawler stands up, faces Andy and lets loose with a sweeping right-handed slap to Andy’s head. Andy and his chair topple to the ground)

(Band plays out to commercial…)

Read the entire transcript to find out what a potty mouth Kaufman had. Now, that’s REAL reality television, ladies and gentlemen.

Other breaking coverage of slappygate: Dan the Man, Goldstein, Bill.

Cross-posted at Conservative Thinking

Can We Get a Fatwa Over Here?

May 25th, 2005 at 9:34 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

I mean, what the hell else does Rusty have to do to get a fatwa? Give him his fatwa so he can quit bitching about it!

Really Really Important Breaking News

May 25th, 2005 at 11:41 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

(via Fox Really Really Important News Alert)

Ol’ Crazy eyes may be going to jail. I hope her fiancee stands by her while she’s playing “caged heat” with a 6 foot inmate named Derneesha.

WTW: Cat Blogging

May 25th, 2005 at 8:53 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

I really should do more cat blogging. All the cool bloggers do it. I mean, really, is there anything more precious than photos of cute kitties in a variety of playful poses? I can answer that for you… No, there isn’t.

Incidentally, do you always let other people answer your questions for you? Stand up for yourself for once! Get confident, stupid!

Anyway, back to cat blogging. Margaret Sue Jamel of Waukesha, Wisconsin loves cats so much that she decided she needed to keep more than 250 of them in her rental home. If only she were a blogger, she never would have run out of material!

In what authorities are calling the worst case of cat neglect ever seen in Waukesha County, a woman charged with hoarding more than 250 cats in squalor in a home in Ottawa was ordered Monday to undergo a mental competency examination.

“Cat neglect.” I believe that is punishable by death in California. If it were child neglect, she would get 30-days probation, because we all know that pets are actually more human than children.

The examination for Margaret Sue Jamel, 48, was ordered during her initial court appearance on charges that say 193 live and 65 dead cats were taken from the home by Humane Animal Welfare Society personnel and the Dousman Fire Department. The workers donned boots, rubber gloves and respirators as they went room by room through the fetid home, where several areas had wall-to-wall cat urine and feces.

Wall-to-wall urine and feces? Sounds like life on the road with a traveling rock band. Or a night at Sandy Duncan’s house.

A criminal complaint says the dead animals included both kittens and adult cats, some of which had been partially devoured by other cats.

“Horrible” is how animal caretaker Stacy Krafczyk described the 1,200-square-foot home from which she rescued cats on Friday night.

“You walk out of the house smelling like the house,” she said.

“Animal caretaker” Stacy Krafczyk did mention that she’d been waiting 7 long years for a chance to be quoted in the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel adding that “there just aren’t that many opportunities for animal caretakers like myself to get the media attention we richly deserve.” Perhaps she should consider cat blogging. All the best bloggers do it.

The utility crew became alarmed after seeing numerous cats through the windows and smelling a powerful stench.

Just one window was open, and more than a dozen cats were pressed up against its screen.

When humane officers entered the home, they found a bowl of water but no food for the dozens of cats that roamed freely throughout the house, including the basement. The stench was so overpowering that even respirators were unable to prevent officers’ eyes from burning and watering as they worked amid piles of cat feces and floors soaked with urine.

Some of the cats appeared to be suffering from respiratory ailments, and at least one was either unable or unwilling to move.

Here is an artist’s rendering of Margaret Jamel’s condition once authorities finally caught up with the cat lover (and potential future cat blogger!):

Your White Trash Wednesday bloggers….

Here We Go Again

May 24th, 2005 at 8:38 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

Republicans (again) manage to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. It’s become a recurring, and nauseating, theme.

John “No Freedom of Speech for you!” McCain leads the familiar charge of pussy Republicans into the anals of history, with his trademark battle cry, “COMPROMISE!!!!”

(05-23) 18:52 PDT WASHINGTON, (AP) — An eleventh-hour deal did little to diminish the political implications of the Senate’s up-to-the-brink confrontation over President Bush’s judicial nominations.

It’s still about the shape of the Supreme Court, the midterm election in 2006, the next presidential race and the future of comity in Congress. Only the dynamics changed when Senate moderates announced a compromise Monday night that frees up many of Bush’s picks, puts others in limbo and preserved longstanding filibuster rules.

Fourteen lawmakers — seven from each party — bucked their leadership to strike a deal Monday night…

Without the compromise, Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist had planned to light the fuse Tuesday by calling for limiting debate on the nomination of Priscilla Owen, a member of the Texas Supreme Court who Bush wants to put on the federal appeals court.

But the 14 centrists chose compromise over confrontation, leaving Frist and Democratic leader Harry Reid vulnerable to criticism from their parties’ powerful special interests.

“It has some good news and it has some disappointing news,” Frist said, noting that he had not been a party to the deal. Democratic leader Harry Reid of Nevada seemed more receptive, but said he remains opposed to some of the nominees who will now likely take seats on federal appeals courts.

The 2008 CAMPAIGN: Frist didn’t get his vote, though he’ll seek credit for trying as he maneuvers for a likely presidential race. The deal was struck around the table in the office of McCain, the Arizona senator who ran against Bush in 2000 and must now answer to angry conservatives. His advisers say they suspect that the most partisan conservatives were not going to back McCain anyhow, and that the deal bolsters his image as a maverick.

So McCain’s violation of free speech rights disguised as “campaign finance reform” wasn’t enough to bolster his maverick image? Up yours, McCain, you shitkicking cretin. Patterico has pledged to support whoever McCain’s next opponent may be – and I, for one, second that effort.

Captain “Not One Dime” Ed has a good breakdown of the deal if you want to get into the details.

And who are the gutless seven GOP dwarves who made sure the Republicans remain the minority party in the Senate?

  • John “Turncoat” McCain – AZ (no surprise)
  • Mike Dewine – OH
  • Olympia Snowe – ME
  • Susan Collins – ME
  • Lincoln Chafee – RI
  • John Warner – VA
  • Lindsey Graham – SC


Northeastern Republicans are nothing more than RINOs anyway – Maine, Vermont, New Hampshire, Rhode Island – why do you people even bother voting GOP? All you get are Jim Jeffords and Olympia Snowes. Every one of these Senators needs to be kicked out of office – starting in 2006 with Snowe, Dewine and Chafee.

The best reaction I’ve seen is this open letter to Frist from Mitch Berg. A snippet:

Mitch Berg here. You probably don’t know who I am; I’m a typical schmuck. I write a blog, and I try to pitch in on GOP activities around Minnesota.

And on behalf of the entire GOP, I’m having a hard time walking right now – because you just boned your party up the a**.

Yeah, read it all – it’s good.

Sure, it’s not all Frist’s fault, but when you’re supposed to be providing the leadership, you better be prepared to take the heat.

It’s all summed up very nicely by this graphic from Sharp as a Marble (yes, I’m posting it again – it’s worth it):

ALSO SEE:

Riehl World View has a great photoshop of the Seven GOP Dwarves.

Ace brings it long and strong.

Malkin: Republicans Buckle.

Protein Wisdom

UPDATE:

I don’t listen to Limbaugh very often, especially since he’s become nothing more than a regurgitator of GOP talking points, but I had to tune in to get his reaction to the “deal”. Even he is blasting the GOP. When the king of “Democrats=BAD, Republicans=GOOD talk radio” isn’t sugarcoating the deal, you know it’s a turd that can’t be polished.

Bleg

May 23rd, 2005 at 9:09 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

Does anyone know of a reliable, cheap webhost that supports ASP and ASP.Net? I’ve had a hell of a time with the one I’ve been using (for another personal site, not this blog) and I need to pack up and move. A mySQL or MS SQL database would be great, but not required. I realize that cheap + reliable don’t always go together, but I thought I’d give it a shot.

Please leave recommendations in the comments or drop me an email, if you know of any. Thanks and we now return you to your regularly scheduled nitwittery.

Did he really say that?

May 23rd, 2005 at 8:40 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

In response to the possible islamic reaction to the nauseating picture of Sodomy Insane in his underwear, President Junior accidentally let the truth slip out today:

“I don’t think a photo inspires murderers. I think they’re inspired by an ideology that’s so barbaric and backwards that it’s hard for many in the Western world to comprehend how they think.”

Wow!

I guess President Junior’s handlers were taking a nap the other day for him to have slipped that one past the politically-correct goalie. He actually took a break from calling it a religion of peace to point out that it’s essentially a backwards culture ruled by suicidal lunatics with a religious iron fist and machete.

And as proof, a bunch of these very same lunatics went on another rampage in London today, calling for “another 9/11″ in New York City. One is just never enough, is it, you allahholics?

Muslim protesters today called for the bombing of New York in a demonstration outside the US embassy in London.

There were threats of “another 9/11″ from militants angry at reports of the desecration of the Koran by US troops in Iraq.

Some among the crowd burned an effigy of Tony Blair on a crucifix and then set fire to a Union flag and a Stars and Stripes.

Led by a man on a megaphone, they chanted, “USA watch your back, Osama is coming back” and “Kill, kill USA, kill, kill George Bush”. A small detail of police watched as they shouted: “Bomb, bomb New York” and “George Bush, you will pay, with your blood, with your head.”

Demonstrators in Grosvenor Square, some with their faces covered with scarves, waved placards which included the message: “Desecrate today and see another 9/11 tomorrow.”

The entire crowd should have been firebombed. There’s still time! And that Saddam pic?

Now Sodomy Insane claims he’s going to “sue” over the underpants photos. Now that’s a laugh riot! That moustached pile of dogshit should have been turned over to the Kurds long ago for torture and disembowelment, then had those photos displayed throughout the globe.

Instead, we’re making sure he has enough sugar for his tea, plenty of cranberry bran muffins and enough lubricant so that he can enjoy his catalog jihadi manboylove porn. Vultures should be picking at his entrails in the desert by now. But I digress. I always digress.

Ban the Sith

May 22nd, 2005 at 11:05 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

No, I didn’t see the damn Sith movie this weekend, but the Mayor did. He says it should be banned immediately.

Forsake The Troops Asshat on Fox News Right Now

May 20th, 2005 at 9:35 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

Unbeliveable – that little Forsake the Troops asshat is on Hannity and Colmes right now. He looks exactly as I would have imagined – a homely, scrawny little braindead societal misfit. It’s a night for vomiting at the Six Meat Buffet.

UPDATE:

For the record, I never watch Hannity & Colmes. It was pure coincidence. Please don’t tell anyone.

UPDATE 2:

Eric at Vince Aut Morire has video of the “interview”. I can’t really call it an interview, because the little assbasket was unable to formulate a complete sentence. It was more of a one-sided drubbing.

Why Do I Hate Politicians?

May 20th, 2005 at 9:14 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

Because they say shit like this:

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, appearing at the State Department with British Foreign Secretary Jack Straw, told reporters that the Newsweek story was bound to be volatile.

“The United States is a country that believes deeply in religious freedom and the equality of all to practice religion as they see it,” Rice said, “and we would certainly never condone anything that would be a desecration of the holy book of one of the world’s great religions.”

Rice said detainees at Guantanamo were given prayer mats and directed toward Mecca so that they could pray appropriately. The Quran has been handled “very, very carefully,” she said.

“I just hope that through steady discussion now with the Muslim community _ and our people in the field are trying to do it _ they understand the real story of how the United States has tried to deal with this question of religious practice at Guantanamo,” she said.

Sure, they’re required to lie. I’m holding out hope that this is just another case of a politician lying to justify some political nuance that I’m just too damn cornbread to understand.

The fact that Rice has to come out and defend Gitmo and explain once again that we’re kissing the asses of a bunch of murderous human garbage sacks (who, by the way, aren’t worthy of the luxury of being crammed into chicken coops) down there makes me want to vomit.

Here’s the ugly truth about Gitmo – I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. None of these shitbags should have been brought across the ocean when they were rounded up fighting with the Taliban. They should have been kept in Afghanistan, interrogated by whatever means necessary and disposed of. We should have never known the name of Johnny Walker Lindh. He should be decomposing under a mound of dirt in the desert with the rest of the captured Taliban, with their remains having been picked clean long ago by filthy jackals.

Gitmo is a waste of good detention space and manpower. Quit apologizing, Condi. I can only puke so much in any given day.

Sweet Justice

May 20th, 2005 at 10:48 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

Car thief leads cops on chase through Atlanta, ends up fried like so much calamari. Sweeeeeeeeeet.

A man running from police was killed Thursday when he came in contact with the electrified third rail at the airport MARTA station, authorities said.

Train service at Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport was shut Thursday night while officials tried to figure out whether the unidentified man fell or jumped onto the rail tracks. Transit authorities brought in shuttles to ferry airport passengers to and from the College Park station.

The man was being pursued by Union City police for stealing a car from an apartment complex in the city about 8:20 p.m., said police Sgt. George Louth.

The man led police on a short chase on northbound I-85 before taking the airport exit, where he collided head-on with another vehicle near the north terminal, officials said.

Of course, all the Atlanta Journal-Constitution cares about is whether or not police officers violated any rules during the chase:

The Union City police department will now look into whether the officer violated any policy during the pursuit. “But from what we know at this point, it appears that he did not,” Louth said.

It was the second time this week that a man was killed while trying to run from police. Erving Cobb, 18, of Atlanta was killed Tuesday when the stolen Ford Focus he was riding in collided with a sports utility vehicle in Vine City. The three men in the car had taken off after spotting an Atlanta police van.

If those damn racist cops would just stop chasing the suspects, we wouldn’t have tragic incidents like this where misunderstood young people (undoubtedly abused and from broken homes) lose their lives.

Thank goodness for instantaneous justice! It always saves the taxpayers money and removes one pile of human debris from the gene pool, which is a good thing. That qualifies today as an official Fried Scumbag Friday!

Cross posted at Conservative Thinking

Helmetheads and Such

May 19th, 2005 at 4:09 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

With the ballyhooed release of yet another sub-par George Lucas vehicle, which will undoubtely rely on overwhelming special effects to distract from horrible acting and even worse dialog, I thought I would share some Star Wars-related items as seen through the eyes of my 3-year-old progeny, Preston Jr.

I will add that Preston Jr. has only seen bits of Return of the Jedi since it seems to have the most spaceships, which are his favorite things. And I’ll be damned if I’m taking him to that George Lucas monstrosity that starts tomorrow.

This is Black Helmet Head. Preston Jr. is too young to know that he’s supposed to call him “African-American” Helmet Head.
This is one of the White Helmet Heads. They do what Black Helmet Head tells them to do.
This is Yuke Skywalker.
This is The Death Store. It blows up.
This is the Circle Spaceship, not to be confused with other non-circular spaceships.
Big Spaceship. It chases the other spaceships.
This is an Asteroid.
These are Space Rocks, not asteroids.
This is the Big Worm. The Circle Spaceship flies out of the big worm.
This is Colt 45. Okay, that’s what I call him, not Preston Jr. No malt liquor for Preston Jr until he’s 15!
This is Yoda. R2D2 doesn’t like him. He says “To the Muppet Show I must go!”
This is C-P-3-0. Preston Jr. knows there’s something peculiar about C-P-3-0, but he can’t put his finger on it. Thank goodness.

Islamic Mental Illness

May 19th, 2005 at 9:57 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

This is absolutely deranged. LGF has a video clip from an Iranian television show which, as a common theme in the demented islamic world, portrays the Zionist Joooos as slaughterers of innocents and harvesters of the organs of children.

From the show’s producer:

Ahmad Mir-’Alawii: We have presented only a small portion of the Zionists’ crimes. During our work [on the film] we received information– even from Jews sympathizing with our point of view. They themselves were anti-Zionists. These were monotheistic Jews. They gave us information that made us regret the film had been completed. I wish we had this information before we made the film.

Oh Zionists, you have occupied the homes of innocent people. You are killing them, making them face firing squads, and gouging out their eyes in front of their parents. In this film we treated you more than fairly, when we presented you as taking out their eyes in an operating room.

There is a white ship sailing the oceans. It doesn’t enter the territorial waters of Iran or similar countries. Our Arab brothers must look out for this ship. In it [the Zionists] hold children only one or two years old, who don’t know anything. These are children no one cared for. They are kidnapped by various means under the pretext of wanting to take care of them. These children are held on this ship, and no one knows their fate. They become teenagers, not knowing what their fate will be. They receive the best medical care and are under constant physical monitoring and supervision. Why do [the Zionists] give them such care? To use them for medical purposes. They use the heart, the kidneys, and their other organs.

Isn’t it heartening to have a glimpse into this delightful culture, which we are supposed to celebrate as a “peaceful” religion? View the entire propaganda video. If this is a common example of how poisoned their culture is, there may be no hope for them.

Quickies

May 18th, 2005 at 10:51 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

A few quick hits:

Chris Short has unveiled his newly-designed blog, Conservative Thinking. Go check it out and add it to your blogroll.

Beth has given Pat Buchanan a shoe in the nuts. With a big leather boot.

I have unwittingly joined the Communist Blog Alliance. I don’t remember filling out the application, so I must have done it when I was drunk.

Ace reminds us that Andrew Sullivan is a silly-ass bitch. We already knew that, but it’s nice to see in print.

Jeff provides a very useful instruction manual: How to flush a Quran. You can eat the Mexican government’s guide on how to illegally enter the U.S. as an appetizer.

WTW: Jon Wayne

May 18th, 2005 at 8:05 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

I took a week off from WTW last week, but this week, I’m back, and I bring you JON WAYNE, the greatest white trash band this side of Lynyrd Skynyrd.

From the official story of Jon Wayne:

While the album never broke into Billboard’s “Hot 100,” it qualified the band members to call themselves “recording artists” and helped to establish them as a “cult band” by the late 1980s. “No Go Diggy Die” became the band’s catchphrase and a password for hipness among the West Coast cognoscenti. However, the strain of notoriety took its toll on Billy Bob, who sought solace in the bottle and underaged women. “Goddamn high school sumbitches,” Jon remembers bitterly. To beat a statutory rape charge in Reseda, he pled guilty to a lesser charge of immoral acts with a minor. Upon the recommendation of a court-appointed psychiatrist, he was sentenced to an indeterminate stay at the Antelope Valley Sanitarium for the Criminally Insane until such time as he be deemed no longer a threat to society. Unfortunately, this restrictive environment, coupled with daily dosages of antipsychotic drugs, weakened Billy Bob’s already tenuous grip on reality. When he is not masturbating compulsively, he will share with anyone who will listen his plans, upon release, to recording an all-organ album of mortuary favorites.

Meanwhile, Jon Wayne and the band forged ahead in stops and starts like a mule with a firecracker up its ass. Now on his second liver (a real lifesaver from a Chinese labor camp!), Timmy Turlock rejoined the band to play bass in the early 1990s. “TEXAS FUNERAL” was released on CD by Cargo Records in 1992. Buoyed by a mid-90s wave of troglodyte redneck chic (witness the Jessco phenomenon or the critical acclaim of the Ernest movies), the band reached a new generation of fans, including such Hollywood glitterati as film director Quentin Tarantino, a tireless champion of the band who wanted to include “Texas Funeral” in the soundtrack to his movie “PULP FICTION.” Unfortunately, he was unable to locate anyone with the band in order to license the song for the film (Jon was on a three-month bender, Jimbo and Earnest were involved in “business dealings” involving the importation of medicinal-use marijuana, and Timmy Turlock was doing ninety days in the Orange County workhouse on a charge of bastardy.) However, Tarantino’s persistence paid off and the song was included in the soundtrack of his less successful follow-up film “FROM DUSK TILL DAWN”–albeit to far less exposure.

More Jon Wayne press here. More Jon Wayne news here.

Jon Wayne has only released two full length albums – 1984′s “Texas Funeral” and 2000′s “Two Graduated Jiggers,” but their place in the pantheon of musical history is more than assured. As further proof, I give you this passage from Texas Jackin’ Ledge, off of “Two Graduated Jiggers”:

Ernest got some bacon,
Jimbo got some eggs;
Me I got some sausage,
Down betwixt my legs…

When it’s Friday evenin’,
Just behind the hedge,
We all sit together
On a Texas jackin’ ledge.

As further further proof, I give you this MP3 from “Texas Funeral”, Mr. Egyptian. ENJOY!

Your White Trash Wednesday bloggers….

Team America: World Police Out Today

May 17th, 2005 at 1:27 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

It’s one of the funniest movies ever made. But not if you’re an uptight pansy-ass liberal curmudgeon like this Amazon reviewer:

Crap

Hey, what else can I say? That’s my opinion. Maybe I’m just too old (47) to get the juvenile, excretory “humor” of this film, but I just thought it wasn’t very intelligent. Lots of stereotypes, bad songs, grossouts, and cursing (mf, f, etc.) make “Team America” an exercise in bad taste.

It looked like a propaganda film from the Bush administration. American actors (F.A.G.) are made to look like collaborators with Kim Jong-Il, the very strange “Dear Leader” of North Korea. Americans who wish blow the hell out of everything are the heroes of this movie. Thing is, I wouldn’t have really cared which side the heroes or bad guys were on if this movie was really funny-which it is not. The “gags” are gross and disgusting, and not worth laughing at.

This was one of those “not finished” DVDs, I’m sorry to say. When the dude puked up a Lake Michigan-sized puddle of you-know-what, that was pretty much it.

To her credit, however, the reviewer did find Vera Drake to be a “difficult pleasure”. An apt summary of the film, which is described here:

An irrepressibly hopeful housecleaner in 1950s London named Vera Drake (Imelda Staunton, Antonia and Jane, Shakespeare in Love) mothers everyone around her, from her own family to helpless shut-ins and lonely men living in tiny, isolated apartments. None of these people know that Vera also helps young women get rid of unwanted pregnancies, until the police appear and tear her world apart.

I’ve just put rent Vera Drake on my to-do list just below driving nails into my thigh with a hammer and just above jabbing knitting needles into my eyeballs.

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