WTW: Great Moments in Eurotrash TrollingMay 4th, 2005 at 9:45 am by Preston Taylor Holmes
A not-so-wise man once said, there’s no white trash quite like Eurotrash.
Truer words have never been spoken. Or maybe they have. Anyway, it works as a good set up for this very special White Trash Wednesday. Today, we get to know our most recent half-witted troll, Boudica of Suburbia.
Name: Boudica of Suburbia, “chilled_v”, “chilled voodoo”, “chilled voo-doo-doo” – actual name unknown – probably something like Dierdre, Agatha, Freda or Zoe.
Age: Uncertain. More than likely early 20′s, definitely too young to have any kind of actual clue.
Nationality: Part Ukranian, Mostly snaggletoothed bedwetting Eurosocialist limey.
Marital Status: Painfully single. Frequently has cravings for a actual boyfriend, but prefers to hook up with strangers she meets online, often providing oral services upon first meeting. So, on the bright side, at least she’s a slut.
- Long walks on the beach.
- Sobbing heavily all afternoon with Bette Midler.
- Unfettered abortion on demand. Like many deranged leftists, views abortion as the holy sacrement of feminism – the ultimate demonstration of leftist faith. Completely uninterested in the rights of the potential baby girl feminist she views as a nuisance – a nasty uterine side-effect of reckless self-indulgence.
- Keeping up with the Royal Family.
- Complaining about being sick, then sick yet again, appears unable to put together a stretch of decent physical health.
- Believes in the BBC!
Least Favorite Things:
- Stupid fucking Americans.
- This blog.
- Genocide. Unless it’s Saddam’s wasting of useless Kurds with chemical weapons, or his filling of mass graves with Iraqi children. That kind of genocide is a-ok with her.
- Being called fatty-fat-fatso. So don’t refer to her as “wide load” or “stretch marks”, this could cause another catastrophic emotional meltdown.
- Having to break down and ask her parents for money yet again. Living off the dole is tough in Jolly Olde England these days.
More Boudica Fan Club Trivia!
Brutally Insane. Seems to weave in and out of partial sanity like a drunk driver on a country road. Has finally gone from simple medication to group therapy, so perhaps there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. Also has some difficulty telling the difference between tsunamis and earthquakes. Believes that the U.S. chicken coop at Guantanamo Bay is a “concentration camp”. Has substantial difficulty with simple concepts.
Part-time vegetarian. Encourages others to join her in a meat-free lifestyle, unless she’s eating meat that week.
On the plus side, unashamed to buy porn. Also, as previously mentioned, a slut, when she can talk some poor slob into sullying his member with her filthy womanhood.
Well, that’s about it for this week’s White Trash Eurotroll profile. I hope you’ve all enjoyed getting to know Boudica as much as I have. I really feel a connection with her. Like we could be soul mates… or something.
Your White Trash Wednesday bloggers….