Helmetheads and SuchMay 19th, 2005 at 4:09 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes
With the ballyhooed release of yet another sub-par George Lucas vehicle, which will undoubtely rely on overwhelming special effects to distract from horrible acting and even worse dialog, I thought I would share some Star Wars-related items as seen through the eyes of my 3-year-old progeny, Preston Jr.
I will add that Preston Jr. has only seen bits of Return of the Jedi since it seems to have the most spaceships, which are his favorite things. And I’ll be damned if I’m taking him to that George Lucas monstrosity that starts tomorrow.
|This is Black Helmet Head. Preston Jr. is too young to know that he’s supposed to call him “African-American” Helmet Head.|
|This is one of the White Helmet Heads. They do what Black Helmet Head tells them to do.|
|This is Yuke Skywalker.|
|This is The Death Store. It blows up.|
|This is the Circle Spaceship, not to be confused with other non-circular spaceships.|
|Big Spaceship. It chases the other spaceships.|
|This is an Asteroid.|
|These are Space Rocks, not asteroids.|
|This is the Big Worm. The Circle Spaceship flies out of the big worm.|
|This is Colt 45. Okay, that’s what I call him, not Preston Jr. No malt liquor for Preston Jr until he’s 15!|
|This is Yoda. R2D2 doesn’t like him. He says “To the Muppet Show I must go!”|
|This is C-P-3-0. Preston Jr. knows there’s something peculiar about C-P-3-0, but he can’t put his finger on it. Thank goodness.|