Rock for Hyperbole!May 31st, 2005 at 3:53 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes
Aging rockstar and socialist limey Bob Geldof, worried that the half-dozen Americans who once knew his name have forgotten it, announced his plans today for Live Aid II. Except that he’s calling it Live Aid 8 because he can’t fucking count.
The free events will be held in London, Paris, Rome, Berlin and Philadelphia, Geldof said at a London news conference televised live by broadcasters including Sky News. London’s concert will include performances by U2, Mariah Carey, Elton John, Madonna, Coldplay, REM and Scissor Sisters. In the U.S., performers will include Bon Jovi, Will Smith, Stevie Wonder, Crosby, Stills and Nash and Brian Wilson.
When discussing Live Aid II’s goals, Geldof says that fundraising won’t be a focus of this year’s event. I guess when he and Bono drove up to the Ethiopian capital’s doorstep with a million pudding cups only to have the Communist government gobble them down in one sitting, he learned a lesson. I have to grudgingly give him credit for learning from that mistake.
This year’s Live Aid is about really big themes – you know the ones – “social justice” and “ending poverty”. You can probably throw a U.N. Global Poverty Tax in there for good measure, though I haven’t heard anyone use that term (yet).
You can bet your sweet ass nobody in the limey press bothered to ask, “what the hell are you talking about, you dimwitted, burned-out, acid-riddled shitkicker?” They should have, though.
Fearing that a parade of rock-stars may not be enough to drive the “social justice” point home, they brought in screenwriter and “campaigner” Richard Curtis, who started throwing around his own prattle…
Some 70 million people have died of Aids in Africa, he said. “We’ve got our own private holocaust going on now.”
If 50,000 people a day died in Europe, leaders would “find the money to solve that particular problem as they walked from the front door at Gleneagles to the reception”, he said.
“It absolutely can be done. In terms of the global scale of finances, it is a tiny amount of money.”
These assholes throw around terms like “holocaust” and “Hitler” like gumdrops. Curtis should be run through with a bayonet on the basis of that comment alone.
Additionally, one of Geldof’s motivations – aside from his massive ego – “are figures that estimate 50,000 people in Africa die unnecessarily every day as a result of extreme poverty.” I’m sure whoever provided Geldof with those figures are from the same think-tank that parades every other unprovable statistic you hear on NPR every morning.
I’m always amazed how concerned Bono and his ilk are about Africa – except those parts of Africa where islamofascist governments are hacking up their populations with machetes. I guess poverty is just sexier than murderous islamic theocrazies to these lackwits.