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Rock for Hyperbole!

May 31st, 2005 at 3:53 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

Aging rockstar and socialist limey Bob Geldof, worried that the half-dozen Americans who once knew his name have forgotten it, announced his plans today for Live Aid II. Except that he’s calling it Live Aid 8 because he can’t fucking count.

May 31 (Bloomberg) — Musician and anti-poverty campaigner Bob Geldof, who gathered leading rock artists together in the Live Aid famine-relief appeal of 1985, today announced a series of five similar concerts on July 2 to focus attention on the need for “political justice” for the world’s poor.

The free events will be held in London, Paris, Rome, Berlin and Philadelphia, Geldof said at a London news conference televised live by broadcasters including Sky News. London’s concert will include performances by U2, Mariah Carey, Elton John, Madonna, Coldplay, REM and Scissor Sisters. In the U.S., performers will include Bon Jovi, Will Smith, Stevie Wonder, Crosby, Stills and Nash and Brian Wilson.

When discussing Live Aid II’s goals, Geldof says that fundraising won’t be a focus of this year’s event. I guess when he and Bono drove up to the Ethiopian capital’s doorstep with a million pudding cups only to have the Communist government gobble them down in one sitting, he learned a lesson. I have to grudgingly give him credit for learning from that mistake.

This year’s Live Aid is about really big themes – you know the ones – “social justice” and “ending poverty”. You can probably throw a U.N. Global Poverty Tax in there for good measure, though I haven’t heard anyone use that term (yet).

“Charity will never really solve the problems,” said Geldof, who was knighted in the U.K. for his work to end poverty. “It is time for justice, and 20 years after Live Aid people now demand it.”

You can bet your sweet ass nobody in the limey press bothered to ask, “what the hell are you talking about, you dimwitted, burned-out, acid-riddled shitkicker?” They should have, though.

Fearing that a parade of rock-stars may not be enough to drive the “social justice” point home, they brought in screenwriter and “campaigner” Richard Curtis, who started throwing around his own prattle…

Curtis has been at the forefront of the Make Poverty History campaign and added his voice to the arguments.

Some 70 million people have died of Aids in Africa, he said. “We’ve got our own private holocaust going on now.”

If 50,000 people a day died in Europe, leaders would “find the money to solve that particular problem as they walked from the front door at Gleneagles to the reception”, he said.

“It absolutely can be done. In terms of the global scale of finances, it is a tiny amount of money.”

These assholes throw around terms like “holocaust” and “Hitler” like gumdrops. Curtis should be run through with a bayonet on the basis of that comment alone.

Additionally, one of Geldof’s motivations – aside from his massive ego – “are figures that estimate 50,000 people in Africa die unnecessarily every day as a result of extreme poverty.” I’m sure whoever provided Geldof with those figures are from the same think-tank that parades every other unprovable statistic you hear on NPR every morning.

I’m always amazed how concerned Bono and his ilk are about Africa – except those parts of Africa where islamofascist governments are hacking up their populations with machetes. I guess poverty is just sexier than murderous islamic theocrazies to these lackwits.

9 Responses to “Rock for Hyperbole!”

  1. Stacy Says:

    Oh my God…he looks AWFUL! At first glance I thought it was Keith Richards.

  2. Rob Says:

    There’s no focus on fundraising? So what’s left, focusing on “raising awareness?” Meaning that this is all going be one, prolonged lecture on “what’s wrong with the world” from a bunch aging has-beens and current MTV poster children looking to re-live (or re-create as the case may be) the glory of other, more famous musical gatherings like Woodstock and the first Live Aid? I’ve got politicians using my tax dollars to give sex offenders Viagra, but I’m supposed to listen to Geldoff and his cronies (whose only apparent qualification for doing this is their ability to play catchy music and look good in whateverthe fashion of the moment is) tell me about AIDS in Africa?

    Please, I’ve got better things to do with my time.

  3. Digger Says:

    “Except that he’s calling it Live Aid 8 because he can’t fucking count.”

    Hehe I almost spit my coffee out.

  4. Preston Taylor Holmes Says:

    Digger, everything I do…. I do it… for you.

  5. Hans Bricks Says:

    Today’s quote of the day.
    The Mayor:

    I wish Bob Geldof had live AIDS.

    UPDATE: Preston Taylor Holmes:

    Aging rockstar and socialist limey Bob Geldof, worried that the half-dozen Americans who once knew his name have forgotten it, announced his plans today for Live Aid II…

  6. factoid Says:

    “Total number of AIDS deaths between 1981 and the end of 2003: 20 million.

    Number of children orphaned by AIDS living in Sub-Saharan Africa at the end of 2003: 12 million.

    By December 2004 women accounted for 47% of all people living with HIV worldwide, and for 57% in sub-Saharan Africa.

    In 2003, young people (15-24 years old) accounted for half of all new HIV infections worldwide, more than 6,000 became infected with HIV every day.

    An estimated five million people in low and middle income countries do not have the AIDS drugs which could save their lives.

    It is estimated that AIDS will kill almost 2 million people in Africa in 2005 and has already infected over 28 million.”

    and read this:

    also, I don’t recall anyone saying “Hitler” at any point, the word genocide was used, perhaps incorrectly, but it was merely meant to indicate the extreme feverence of the campaign and the need for change and a resolution to the crisis.

  7. common sense Says:

    All the numbers in the world won’t change the fact that it’s a behaviourally spread disease.

    They’re always welcome to stop fucking.

  8. Preston Taylor Holmes Says:

    Thank you common sense. Pointing out the obvious for the intelligence-challenged, so I don’t have to. Would you like an unpaid internship?

  9. Digger Says:

    No, but I have one, it’s called Diggers Realm.

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