Crazy Eyes Redux
June 7th, 2005 at 1:16 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes(via Diggers Realm)
The more I learn about Crazy Eyes’ filthy imagination, the more I’m starting to like her. The Smoking Gun has the Albuquerque, NM, police report where she alleges “sexual” things were done to her. Adult language and content follows, so do not continue unless you’re over 18.
While jogging, she was grabbed by two individuals, a “Hispanic male” and a “White female,” in a van and thrown in the back of it. Her hands were then tied with rope. The individuals placed her on her right side on the floor of the van and made her face the back door. The male then began driving while the female stayed in the back of the van with Jennifer. After approximately thirty minutes, the male pulled the van off to the side of the road and shut the vehicle off. The female took off her pants and underwear but left her shirt on. The female then pulled down Jennifer’s pants and underwear, performed oral sex on her, and digitally penetrated her vagina. The female then moved over Jennifer’s head and told her to perform oral sex on her. At the same time, the male had gone to the back of the van. He then removed his pants and placed his penis into Jennifer’s vagina. According to Jennifer, she performed oral sex on the female until the she “had an orgasm”. The male pulled his penis from Jennifer’s vagina once the female had an orgasm. Jennifer was not sure if the male had ejaculated. The female and male then dressed themselves and pulled up Jennifer’s underwear and pants. The male then moved to the front of the vehicle, and began to drive again.
Sergeant Galindo asked Jennifer, “What exactly did the female state to you when she wanted you to perform oral sex.” Jennifer said the female told her “Now you can lick my pussy.” … Sergeant Galindo asked Jennifer if the male was wearing a condom when he penetrated her. Jennifer replied she did not know.
Sergeant Galindo asked Jennifer if she was bound by rope during the entire sexual assault. Jennifer said yes.
Not to do too much psychoanalysis, but sounds to me like Crazy Eyes has quite a vivid imagination, and some urges that need to be fulfilled. I think I’ll cut her fiancee-to-be some slack from now on.
June 7th, 2005 at 2:05 pm
I love the line “placed his penis into Jennifer’s vagina.”
Since when do rapists ‘place’ anything? It sounds like she’s been with Mr. Sub-par for way too long. Sounds like she needs a threesome like I need a hit from this here bong… damn this glaucoma…
June 7th, 2005 at 2:32 pm
I’d check her web browser cache for BangBus.
June 7th, 2005 at 2:46 pm
Sounds like Crazy Eyes was kiddnapped by Lawerence….
Peter Gibbons: What would you do if you had a million dollars?
Lawrence: I’ll tell you what I’d do, man, two chicks at the same time, man.
Peter Gibbons: That’s it? If you had a million dollars, you’d do two chicks at the same time?
Lawrence: Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I had a million dollars I could hook that up, cause chicks dig a dude with money.
Peter Gibbons: Well, not all chicks.
Lawrence: Well the kind of chicks that’d double up on a dude like me do.
Peter Gibbons: Good point.
June 7th, 2005 at 3:00 pm
Yeah, but Lawerence was willing to pay for it. Plus, how could he not be bagging chicks by the busload with that chick magnet of a mullet?
June 7th, 2005 at 5:41 pm
Can you say BangBus wannabe?
I knew you could.
June 7th, 2005 at 9:49 pm
Leave it to the Pirate to quote one of my all time favorite movies. Kudos, Pirate.
June 7th, 2005 at 11:20 pm
Ya know, if she’d push out a little more cleavage, we may have never noticed those Crazy Eyes.
I think she slept with Lumberg.
June 8th, 2005 at 12:35 pm
I wholeheartedly agree with NMH – I barely notice the crazy eyes anymore since I got a look at her fine rack.
Can you say “rack” on the air.
I would like to see Jenny doing the deed while repeating: “Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking. Just a moment.”
June 8th, 2005 at 12:58 pm
I had “A Current Affair” on in the background while I was trying to get my internet connection running last night, and they played the tape of her and the Albuquerque police department. She sure did sound lucid for someone so…not lucid.
June 8th, 2005 at 1:29 pm
Shawn,
Here at the buffet, not only can you say “rack” but we celebrate all quality rack.
Well, hell, it doesn’t even have to be quality, we’ll celebrate it anyway.
PTH
June 8th, 2005 at 1:36 pm
Yeah, she’s not that bad looking. I can see givin’ her the ‘ol salt eye in the back of a van.
June 9th, 2005 at 11:20 am
Does she have a sister? Cause this sure sounds like a family I’d love to marry into…
July 5th, 2005 at 11:23 pm
show her my ‘O’ face. ohh… ohh…