And the verdict is GUILTY. Michael Jackson is definitely GUILTY of being a complete freak of nature and should be put away whether they prove the molestation case or not.

(Conflicting reports that there is a verdict… ABC says there isn’t a verdict… Hannity says there is a verdict… blah blah blah…)

One more verdict is in… this guy is still GUILTY of being a complete embarrassment to all of humanity and my town.

My prediction: MJ will get off the hook - there’s no way an all white California jury is going to convict another white guy.

Stand by for news… or don’t.

UPDATE:

Also GUILTY of owning some type of pet monkey. That’s just wrong. Set the monkey free, Jacko. SET IT FREE!

UPDATE 2:

Also GUILTY of inappropriately touching the aforementioned pet monkey. That’s even more wrong. It remains unclear as to whether or not Jacko asked a third party to “touch his monkey”.

UPDATE 3:

Also GUILTY of bleaching his skin and slicing his nose off with the aid of surgeons. Why, Michael, why?!? You were such a cute kid… and even a serviceable-looking young adult. Your nose was just fine before you hacked it off leaving two skeleton-looking holes. I mean, what happens when you sneeze? Does that tiny bit of cartilage in the middle flap in the wind like a cheap umbrella? That’s just wrong, that nose-replacement-pointy-skin-flap-thing.

UPDATE 4:

Also GUILTY of giving his unfortunate offspring wacky-ass names like Prince Primary Lionheart and Princess Lavonia Madagascar or some such nonsense. He also makes them wear some kind of headgear in public. That’s wrong, that is.

UPDATE 5:

I don’t know what the damn verdict is, and I don’t really care. I do kind of hope he gets locked up though. Or run over by his own Neverland rollercoaster.

UPDATE 6:

Others attending the all-night Neverland party:

Jen & Company filling in at Ace’s place
Beth
Vince
Merri
Commissar
Goldstein
And by the way, my live-blogging kicked the crap out of Malkin’s live-blogging (though I was hoping for a riot tonight as well… there is nothing on TV tonight…)

Posted by Preston Taylor Holmes @ 3:43 pm
3 Comments and 6 Trackbacks | Permalink | Trackback URI

Comments

:: Trackbacks/Pingbacks ::

1. In case you care…
   Here is an image of the latest update to my reader

   Trackback by Speed of Thought — Monday, June 13, 2005 4:04 pm | permalink

   
   

2. Michael Jackson: NOT GUILTY
   NOT GUILTY

   UNFUCKINBELIEVABLE.

   Looks like Preston was right.

   …

   Trackback by MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy — Monday, June 13, 2005 5:16 pm | permalink

   
   

3. Next Stop, The Land Of Cheese and Whine
   Well, that sucks.

   Trackback by Vince Aut Morire — Monday, June 13, 2005 7:06 pm | permalink

   
   

4. Not Guilty?
   So they found Michael Jackson

   Trackback by Merri Musings — Monday, June 13, 2005 7:29 pm | permalink

   
   

5. Other things Michael Jackson is guilty of
   Other things Michael Jackson is guilty of

   Trackback by Dummocrats.com — Tuesday, June 14, 2005 10:11 am | permalink

   
   

6. Mad How on the Michael Jackson Trial
   So you probably heard that Michael Jackson got off Scot-free. Figures! Rich white guys like Michael Jackson never have to face the music. And of course the jury is all white, and they’re not going to convinct a white guy. Oh, and Jackson is religious,…

   Trackback by Les Jones — Wednesday, June 15, 2005 9:04 am | permalink

   
   

:: Comments ::

1. There’s always Looney Tunes. 8-9 pm Central, dude.

   

   comment by Eric — Monday, June 13, 2005 @ 9:44 pm

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2. Well, now I see why you felt guilty.

   Complete coincidence.

   Add about 20 more BIG bloggers to your mini-link list, do it three times a week, and send out lengthy, multi-recipient email blegs, then I might get annoyed.

   comment by The Commissar — Wednesday, June 15, 2005 @ 2:13 pm

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3. If only I could find the time to do all those things, Commissar, you know I would.

   comment by Preston Taylor Holmes — Wednesday, June 15, 2005 @ 2:32 pm

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