Gitmo SolutionJune 21st, 2005 at 8:23 am by Preston Taylor Holmes
For all of you Durbinites who are gnashing your teeth about the “torture” going on at Gitmo, listen up. I’ve got a solution for you.
First of all, the resort staff at Gitmo needs to take each would-be-islamofascist-murderer and strap them in this chair:
Leave them strapped in until they’re ready to turn over some real information. Whether it takes a day, a week, a month, it doesn’t matter. Sure, they won’t be able to eat their rice pilaf or read their quran, but I’m sure they’ll welcome the break from their daily drudgery of fine dining and prayer rugs.
Once they turn over whatever information they’ve got, put them on a boat, take them several miles off the Cuban coast (it might not be a bad idea to drop them in a place where the waters have been chummed-up a bit) and take them for a swim. If they can make it back to the Gitmo Summer Camp without being eaten, then huzzah for them.
Once this process is complete for each of the murderers held at Gitmo, then we can shut it down and Carter, Clinton, Durbin and the rest of the mental midgets who’ve been bellyaching about it will be happy as a pig in shit.
Dr. Shackleford brings you a delightful Tuesday afternoon Religion-of-Peace™ roundup.