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Archive for July, 2005



Sunday Night Poll

July 31st, 2005 at 10:03 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

Let’s face it, Drudge has jumped the shark.

Every time I go there, once I get past the dozen-or-so pop-up ads that assail my eyes and offend my sensibilities, all I get is which movie did the most business over the weekend, which cable news network had the best ratings or what Tom Cruise said the day before. Drudge’s obsession with Hollywood and the entertainment industry in general borders on stalkeresque. You have to wonder if Drudge was a failed actor/musician/writer and has used his internet fame to inject himself into the entertainment industry through his rabid coverage.

It doesn’t help when he scoffs at blogs when his site is nothing more than a glorified link dump. At least many bloggers show some creativity and writing skills (well, other than this one, of course) – all Drudge does is link dump and report the occasional BREAKING story based on one of the millions of tips he gets from his network of insiders.

This leads us to this week’s Sunday Night Poll – what’s the worst thing about Drudge these days?


Which one of Drudge’s afflictions has become the most annoying?

Excessive pop-up ads.

Weekend movie revenue reports.

His weekly radio show (for those of you who listen).

Hollywood/Tom Cruise obsession.

Cable TV news ratings.

Preoccupation with global warming.

His admitted disdain for bloggers and their blogs.


  
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Invasion Time

July 31st, 2005 at 3:14 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

Like many of the rest of you, I’ve been sitting by the television for the last several months, breathlessly awaiting every FOX NEWS ALERT that pops up while I’m watching O’Reilly, Hannity, Greta Von Horseface and Gerardo Riviera, hoping that they find Natalee.

But most times I’ve been met with disappointment as it’s usually another terror alert or bombing somewhere.

I think I’ve come up with a plan, though, to finally get to the bottom of this whole mess. Since the Aruban authorities are unwilling to do what’s necessary to find Natalee and get the bastards responsible, it’s time to suit up the the U.S. Military and INVADE ARUBA!

We already took care of an island nation once before – 1983′s Operation Urgent Fury – where we kicked the shit out of Grenada and a bunch of stray pro-Soviet Cubans who had picked the wrong place to set up a new Marxist utopia.

Aruba is quite a bit smaller than Grenada – and while the Grenada invasion took about a week, this one wouldn’t even take a weekend. It’s the only way we’re going to find Natalee – and you damn well know it. A quick comparison:

Fast Facts: Grenada
Population: 94,000
Area: 133 sq.mi.
Yokels: English/French
Fast Facts: Aruba
Population: 71,500
Area: 74 sq.mi.
Yokels: Dutch/Murderers

President Bush, do the right thing. Invade Aruba. Find Natalee. Bring those bastards to justice.

Sunday Morning Chat

July 31st, 2005 at 12:06 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

A brief discussion with Preston Jr. this morning:

Me: Do you want to be.. a Freemason?!?!

Jr.: No.

Me: NO!?!?!?

Jr.: No.

Jr.: I want to be a boy.

Me: Ok. Let’s go for a walk. But it’s really hot so drink this water.

ESPN Sports Reparations for Washington D.C.

July 29th, 2005 at 11:11 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

More here.

Double Dog Dare

July 28th, 2005 at 11:03 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

John Bolton a recess appointment to the U.N.?

Personally, I don’t think the President has the stones. Surprise me, POTUS.

8/1/05 UPDATE:

Holy crap! He did it. Good for you, President Junior. Nobody – even the President – can withstand a DOUBLE DOG DARE.

This Was On My To-Do List

July 28th, 2005 at 12:21 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

Really it was. This is the post I was going to write about that Brazilian dumbass who ran from the British version of the FBI and got righteously whacked. Thank goodness Jeff took care of it for me.

ABC Preps Braindead Viewers for Hillary! ’08

July 28th, 2005 at 10:30 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

ABC, hot on the heels of the success of Desperate Housewives, is taking it to the next level with “Commander in Chief” – a series that is part tribute to Geraldine Ferraro and part groundwork for Hillary ’08.

Geena Davis plays an independent female Vice President to a Republican president who dies, and she is thrust into the Presidency. How will she handle it? How will has-been Donald Sutherland, who plays her nemesis, eventually realize that Davis/Moderate Hillary is the right woman for the job? How will she battle her internal demons and overcome her own self-doubt? Thankfully, creator/producer Rod Lurie says the show will focus on “family” rather than “politics.”

LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) – Both the creator and star of ABC’s upcoming drama “Commander in Chief” are acknowledged Democrats, but they pledge that it is more of an “East Wing” type of show that won’t dwell exclusively on political intrigue.

“Commander in Chief” stars Geena Davis as a married mother and independent vice president who is thrust into power after the death of the Republican president, battling concerns by her predecessors’ advisers and cabinet as well as her family and associates.

Here are a few things I’d rather do than watch this digitized vomit:

  • Pound all the bones in my hand to a fine dust with a hammer
  • Eat an entire bucketful of broken glass
  • Have uncontrollable bowel explosions for an entire month
  • Jump off the roof of a building short enough not to kill me, but tall enough to cause severe injury
  • Have a three-way with Madeline Albright and *shudder* Helen Thomas

I think I made my point.

UPDATE:

Heh! Speaking of the dog-faced gremlin, Helen Thomas, she has reportedly threatened to kill herself if Dick Cheney runs for President in 2008. (via Drudge)

C’mon, Dick, do it for the good of the country – and for our collective eyesight! Cheney in ’08! Let’s make it happen!

What’s on My Nightstand?

July 27th, 2005 at 1:33 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

I’ve been tagged again with one of those horrible memes and I’m late in responding (as usual). This time I was tagged by fellow Knoxville/RTB blogger Les Jones.

Well, I’ll try not to go into much detail. Currently on/in my nightstand – a lamp, a box of kleenex (this is temporary due to a cold that won’t go away), a phonebook (I don’t know why since the phone is on Mrs. Holmes’ side of the bed), a flashlight, several remote controls (tv, vhs, dvd), a couple of books I keep meaning to read (Crichton’s State of Fear, 1-2-3 Magic – how to discipline your kid without beating them to death, and a variety of Winnie the Pooh books that Preston Jr. keeps leaving in there), and a few other items of a personal nature that Mrs. Holmes probably wouldn’t want me mentioning in a public forum.

At this point, I think I’m supposed to tag some other bloggers with said meme, but since I’m feeling lazy I probably won’t. Then again I might. You’ll just have to wait and see.

WTW: Burn the Flag?

July 27th, 2005 at 11:10 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

So how do you respond when you see the Confederate flag? Did you recoil in horror? Did you shit your pants? Did you have no reaction at all? Did you spend the last few minutes crying and shouting “RACIST!” at your monitor while those around you stared on in bewildered discomfort?

Well, some local folk apparently do the latter in Maryville.

In a story semi-related to the outcry against the University of Mississippi for their use of the rebel flag and Colonel Reb, the Maryville Board of Education has voted to ban all flags – rebel, seasonal or otherwise – from Maryville High School football games.

MARYVILLE – The leader of a group of Maryville High School supporters dedicated to preventing the removal of Confederate battle flags from school-sponsored events says his coalition is prepared to go to court to see the tradition maintained.

Gary Young’s statement followed a Maryville Board of Education meeting Tuesday night at which the board approved a safety policy that bans flags – Confederate and otherwise, unless OK’d by school administrators – from Rebel football games and all other school-sponsored activities.

The school board wrapped the flag ban in some blather about “safety,” but the motivation is obvious – political correctness, pure and simple.

Those supporting the policy, including MHS Principal Ken Jarnigan, said the flags represent a safety hazard at football games particularly, and they tread on the sensibilities of minorities, who see the flag as a symbol of slavery and oppression.

If Ken had really wanted to sell the “safety” angle, he probably should have left off the part about “treading on the sensibilities of minorities,” which exposed (unshockingly) the true motivation behind the ban. While we’re on the subject, the American flag treads on the sensibilities of many leftists, muslims, Hollywood actors, rock stars and Jane Fonda – shouldn’t we have it removed from these games as well? The change in language used to implement the new policy is interesting as well…

The change eliminated a part of the second section of the policy that banned action “associated with oppression, hate or anything else that may cause other students, parents, visitors, constituents, school district employees, spectators or any other individuals to feel uncomfortable based on race, color, creed, gender, ethnic origin, sexual orientation, religious belief/non-belief.”

It was replaced with a ban on “fighting words” that might “cause substantial disruption.”

This seems more in line with how we toothless Southern hicks talk anyway. Here is a sample of our daily interaction with one another:

Southerner #1: What ya’ll know?
Southerner #2: Not much, ya’ll. How’s yer still?
Southerner #1: Perty good. My last batch got me enough to afford this straw hat. Like it?
Southerner #2: Well, I thought yer last batch tasted like horse piss. Different strokes an’ all I guess.
Southerner #1: Them’s fightin’ words! Prepare to be vanquished, varmint!

At that point, both parties usually go back to their truck to get their shotguns off their gun racks and commence to shootin’. But I digress.

Back to the topic at hand… the old policy was meant to make sure nobody feels uncomfortable. If society continues down the politically correct path of making sure nobody ever feels uncomfortable, I guess we’ll finally achieve the Socialist Utopia where no one ever feels uncomfortable and everyone is equally miserable in every possible way. Shit, I felt uncomfortable the first 18 years of my life, and I came through alright (well, mostly).

So what’s my take on the “controversy”? I say let ‘em fly the flag. Leave Colonel Reb alone down at Ole Miss, while you’re at it. It’s a symbol of the old South – and I’ll be the first to admit, the history of the South isn’t pretty – but racism and slavery are only a piece of the South’s historic puzzle. I know those are the only parts of our history that the rest of the country cares about, because it makes us an easier target for their ridicule, but there’s a whole lot more to Southern history than that.

Sure, there are klanesque white-supremecist factions who have hijacked the flag as their symbol, but rational people can surely separate the flag from its more unsavory presenters. And while we’re on the subject of flags, they are just symbols, which is why I don’t support a constitutional amendment against burning the American flag.

If some jackass takes it upon his or herself to desecrate the American flag, they are exercising their right to free speech. They’re idiotic and vile, but they still have the right to do so. I also support judicial leniency against anyone who kicks their ass as a result, btw.

Okay, in looking back at this post, it’s absolutely lost any kind of focus, so I’m quitting. Long story short, quit yer bitchin’.

Here are your White Trash Wednesday bloggers, many of whom are toothless Southern cretins like me….

Except don’t visit Sadie because we’re broken up.

Lunch Launch

July 26th, 2005 at 11:16 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

Discovery takes off.

Live video feed here.

Russian Spammer Taken Offline – Mob Style

July 25th, 2005 at 10:44 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

Vardan Kushnir, Russia’s “biggest spammer”, was found murdered in his Moscow apartment over the weekend.

Vardan Kushnir, notorious for sending spam to each and every citizen of Russia who appeared to have an e-mail, was found dead in his Moscow apartment on Sunday, Interfax reported Monday. He died after suffering repeated blows to the head.

Kushnir, 35, headed the English learning centers the Center for American English, the New York English Centre and the Centre for Spoken English, all known to have aggressive Internet advertising policies in which millions of e-mails were sent every day.

In the past angry Internet users have targeted the American English centre by publishing the Center’s telephone numbers anywhere on the Web to provoke telephone calls. The Center’s telephone was advertised as a contact number for cheap sex services, or bargain real estate sales.

To paraphrase Chris Rock, “I’m not sayin’ it’s right… I’m just sayin’ I understand.”

Rocky Top Brigade Reborn

July 25th, 2005 at 9:35 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

In the wake of the demise of South Knox Bubba, the gnashing of teeth could be heard all over the Tennessee blogosphere as bloggers pondered the future of the legendary Rocky Top Brigade.

Fear no more, as Johnny Dobbins, Say Uncle, Barry, Rich, and Thomas have donated their time and energy to resurrecting and improving the Brigade.

The new home for the Rocky Top Brigade is here. If you’re a Tennessee blogger, you should go here to find out how to join and update your membership. It doesn’t matter if you’re a bedwetting leftist moonbat like Bubba or a right-wing crank like myself, as long as you’re a Tennessean, you qualify.

And don’t forget to fly the flag:

Have You Seen Me?

July 23rd, 2005 at 3:51 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

If you see any of these four people:


click to enlarge

Please kill them immediately.

Thank you. That is all.

UPDATE:

Jackson Miller at Nashville is Talking completely misunderstood this post. Please see my comments at N.I.T. for clarification. I would hate for my readers to think that I support the shooting of random, potentially innocent suspects.

Rusty Gets the TSA Shakedown

July 22nd, 2005 at 10:02 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

(via Aaron’s CC:)

Dr. Shackleford, of the legendary Jawa Report, reports that his entire family was singled out for security scrutiny on his way home to California for vacation.

The geniuses at the TSA decided that they had to search my six year old daughter, my three year old son, and my one year old infant. You know, cause terrorists could be anybody.

Just before we boarded plane number 3 (yeah, it took 4 planes to get here) they pulled us off the boarding line to pat us down again. I’m talking the full search on us all, including tearing apart our diaper bag, swabbing our little portable DVD player and Barbie Princess and the Pauper video for bomb residue, and running the metal detector over our one-year old.

I’m thinking it was the flip-flops I was wearing. Or maybe the In-’n-Out Burger tee-shirt. Nothing says terrorist more than that.

This is how fucking idiotic our federalized TSA airport security has become. Thanks a bundle, President Junior. Your quick action of federalizing airport security after 9/11 is really paying dividends.

The Bachelor – China Style!

July 22nd, 2005 at 3:33 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

An article in today’s U.K. News-Telegraph laments the fact that by 2020, 23 million Chinese men will be unable to find wives.

China will have more than 23 million men unable to find wives by 2020 because so many more boys are being born than girls, according to a study.

The widespread practice of aborting female foetuses is being blamed for creating a generation of bachelors who will pose increasing social problems, it says.

Well, those bachelors can always make trips to the landfills to mourn the loss of those potential wives in person. I guess all those forced female terminations are just Chinese “chickens coming home to roost” (to borrow a phrase from the brilliant Julianne Malveaux).

On the bright side for Beijing, there will be that many more males to join the Chinese military and take over the planet.

Quite a Good Idea

July 22nd, 2005 at 9:43 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

Some NYC commuters having a hissy-fit over the possibility of being searched before riding the urine-soaked NYC subway system.

I think it’s a great idea – on two conditions.

First, racial/ethnic profiling must take place – no searches of old jewish women with walkers. The vast majority of search targets must be middle-eastern looking males. That’s what should be going on in the airports and that’s what should take place in the subways of NYC.

Next, search everyone wearing one of these shirts:

RELATED:

In other good news on this good news Friday, London police shoot and kill bombing suspect at London subway station.

LONDON (AP) – Police shot and killed a man wearing a thick coat at a London subway station Friday, a day after the city was hit by its second wave of terrorist attacks in two weeks.

The man died after being shot by officers at the Stockwell subway station in south London, police said.

Passengers said a man, described as South Asian, ran onto a train at Stockwell station in south London. Witnesses said police chased him, he tripped, and police then shot him.

“They pushed him onto the floor and unloaded five shots into him. He’s dead,” witness Mark Whitby told the British Broadcasting Corp. “He looked like a cornered fox. He looked petrified.”

UPDATE:

Wait a damn minute. I didn’t think British cops carried guns. I thought they were only allowed to carry those night-stick looking things.

Link Sausages

July 21st, 2005 at 10:10 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

First of all Vince Aut Morire has somehow achieved TTLB Playful Primate status. I don’t know what kind of underhanded programming tricks took place, or who was bought off, but this is an OUTRAGE. Vinnie, you will pay. So will all of your filthy filthy guest bloggers. I don’t know how, but you will all pay!

Wuzzadem brings you Burger King: INXS.

Ace takes a look at those “sassy” terrorists.

Michelle Malkin shares the story of the Ebonics as a foreign language revival in San Bernadino, California. Hey, when public school is too tough, just lower the lowest common denominator until everyone gets an A. That will sure help us compete with the rest of the industrialized world.

It’s Garfield Ridge vs. Wonkette – 30 minute time limit, no disqualification. Lumberjack strap match.

More from Chris Short on the Center for Purposeful Living. They are not to be confused with another well-known cult, the Movementarians.

The lovely Sadie shares the tale of a Georgia woman who was recently flooded out of her home due to Hurricane Dennis. Help out if you’re able and so inclined.

John Cole’s sneak peak at the Iraqi Constitution is troubling. (via Protein Wisdom, who also brings us Chucky Schumer’s top 9 alternatives to SCOTUS nominee John Roberts)

There’s much more out there, but I’m freakin’ beat. Thanks go out to Mark for upgrading my WordPress software last night and tweaking this and that. You’ll see a few minor cosmetic changes to the blog over the weekend, but nothing major. I’m too lazy for anything major.

Why Do They Hate Us?

July 21st, 2005 at 1:06 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

Well, crap. I was about half way through a “why do they hate us” post, when I saw this post over at Ace’s place. He says it better than I could.

In the interests of intellectual honesty, I will admit that the left is right– the action in Iraq, and our support of Israel, does in fact contribute to “why they hate us.”

Those who say Iraq and Israel have nothing to do with this are being rhetorically excessive, or a little naive, or just telling what they think is a white lie in the service of a bigger truth.

However– the reality is that “why they hate us” is, as they say, overdetermined. Meaning: there are so many reasons they hate us that it’s glib and stupid to attempt to say they bomb us for this or that reason. They have hundreds of reasons.

If not for Iraq, then for Afghanistan.

If not for Afghanistan, then for Palestine.

If not for Palestine, then for our military presence in the Gulf.

If not for our military presence in the Gulf, then the simple fact that we dominate the world miltiarily, technologically, and culturally, which is an affront to radical Islamicists who believe that Muslims must rule the world, and to follow Allah’s teachings righteously, they must fight us to claim world dominion as dictated by the Prophet.

Etc.

And changing our behavior won’t change any of this. We risked blood and treasure to save Muslims in Serbia; that won us no fans whatsoever. They’re still screaming about the Andalusia and thousand-year-old grievances. Those who believe a charm offensive is going to win the hearts and minds of people still nursing grudges from a frickin’ thousand years ago are simply delusional.

Just go read the whole post. It’s right on the fucking money.

Not Again

July 21st, 2005 at 8:42 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

(via Fox News Alert)

The London Underground station was evacuated at 1:25 p.m. Thursday afternoon in London after smoke was seen coming from the train, Sky News has reported.

“The entire area has been closed off,” Simon Marks.

Emergency officials were said to be attending incidents at three stations, the Associated Press has reported.

If this turns out to be yet another terrorist attack, I wonder if Red Ken will come out and and apologize to the attackers again on behalf of all Londoners.

I can hear it now… “On behalf of all Londoners, we apologize to the islamofascists for the inconvenience of having to plant bombs in different locations. From now on, we will all gather together in one location to make your task easier, as we English are nothing if not polite and accomodating.”

Roberts and the GWOT

July 20th, 2005 at 10:09 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

There are still plenty of questions floating around about President Junior’s SCOTUS nominee, but this Henry Mark Holzer column at FrontPage Mag about Roberts’ recent opinion in a GWOT-related case may be good news for those of us who are actually interested in winning the war and untying the hands of our military.

The media coverage of President Bush’s nomination of John G. Roberts, Jr., to the O’Connor seat on the Supreme Court of the United States has understandably focused on his legal background and conservative credentials. Because the court on which he now sits—the United States Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit—has twelve justices who sit in random panels of three, and because Judge Roberts has been a member of that court for only two years, critics of his nomination such as Kennedy, Leahy, Durbin and Schumer will have a limited number of cases on the basis of which to attack him.

That won’t stop Schumer’s judicial wrecking crew. They’ll find a new Anita Hill – just give them a few weeks.

Holzer’s column centers around the case of Osama bin Laden’s driver, terrorist Salim Ahmed Hamdan, who drove OBL around in his golf cart for two months following 9/11/01. Hamdan was later captured and turned over to the U.S. military and put in a chicken coop at Gitmo, where he no doubt reveled in the same luxuries the current inmates enjoy. He was set to be tried in a Military Tribunal, which, in my opinion, was still too good for him.

(more…)

Debra’s Back

July 20th, 2005 at 9:17 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

(via Frothy Republican Whore)

When Debra Lafave’s in the news, that means two things: 1) my traffic shoots up because my Lafave pictures are at the top of Google’s image search and 2) I get to go back and enjoy those pictures along with all the other perverts.

It seems, however, that plea bargaining negotiations have broken down in the case and Lafave will go ahead with plans to plead insanity at her December trial.

Fitzgibbons said plea bargaining broke down because prosecutors wanted too much prison time for Lafave, who appeared in court Monday but did not speak.

“To place an attractive young woman in that kind of hell hole is like putting a piece of raw meat in with the lions,” said Fitzgibbons, who wouldn’t talk about details of the negotiations. “I’m not sure she would survive.”

She is charged with four felony counts of lewd and lascivious battery and one count of lewd and lascivious exhibition. Each carries a maximum 15-year prison term.

I have to agree with her attorney. There is no need to put her in an orange jump-suit and toss her in with the rest of the brutish bulldaggas in the Big House. A 15-year prison sentence for giving a 15-year-old boy bragging rights for years? Not to mention the memories which he will be able to *ahem* utilize look back fondly upon as the years go by.

Now, on the other hand, authorities should throw the book at this offender.

Here are your White Trash Wednesday bloggers….

South Knox Bubba Hangs it Up

July 19th, 2005 at 8:48 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

(via Say Uncle)

Long time Knoxville lefty/moonbat blogger South Knox Bubba has called it quits. Bubba has long been Knoxville’s 2nd most popular blogger (behind what’s-his-face) and this is a damn shame. Sure, I thought he was a hysterical moonbat a lot of the time, but he did occasionally throw some reasonably logical stuff out there, and his photo-blogging was second-to-none. By all accounts, he’s a stand-up guy, and this is bad news for the left and right side of the sphere as Bubba was always entertaining in one way or another.

Good luck, SKB.

John Roberts is the Man

July 19th, 2005 at 8:26 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

He looks just evil enough for the job. What a nice surprise.

(via Drudge and Faux News)

UPDATE:

I haven’t read enough about Roberts yet to know if this is another Souter or an actual conservative. However, I do know that commenters at the Daily Kock are in tears because President Junior didn’t pick a woman or a minority (or the holy grail… both!). I usually avoid the Daily Kock like the plague, but Goldstein made me look.

UPDATE DOS:

The lovely Annika is impressed with Roberts’ on-base percentage and his ability to play both shortstop and second – depending on where he’s needed.

New Character Assassination Victim to be Revealed at 9 pm Tonight

July 19th, 2005 at 2:54 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

Hot, steamy, breaking news action…

President Junior set to announce his nominee to replace exiting SCOTUS ninny Sandra O’Day O’Connor at 9pm ET tonight.

My sources close to the White House have tipped me off to the identity of the nominee. If you would like to wait until tonight to find out, then you can skip the rest of this post. Otherwise, the answer is below the jump.

(more…)

Why I Love Demure Thoughts

July 19th, 2005 at 12:53 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

We need the sheriff of Ballsville.

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