Reason #812 Why I Won’t Care When San Francissy Falls Into the Ocean
August 20th, 2005 at 5:18 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes
City of San Francissy wags its finger at big bad imperialist warship – says, “oh no you di’unt think you wuz comin’ all up in here.”
Veterans groups and history buffs had hoped that tourists in San Francisco could walk the same teak decks where sailors dodged Japanese machine-gun fire and fired 16-inch guns that helped win battles across the South Pacific.
Instead, it appears that the retired battleship is headed about 80 miles inland, to Stockton, a gritty agricultural port town on the San Joaquin River and home of California’s annual asparagus festival.
But city supervisors voted 8-3 last month to oppose taking in the ship, citing local opposition to the Iraq war and the military’s stance on gays, among other things.
“If I was going to commit any kind of money in recognition of war, then it should be toward peace, given what our war is in Iraq right now,” Supervisor Ross Mirkarimi said.
Immediately following the comment, an emotional Mirkarimi burst into tears, citing something he remembered from a recent viewing of the Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood he had purchased on DVD.
The worst part of this whole story is that it puts me and Dianne Feinstein on the same side of an issue.
Feinstein called it a “very petty decision.”
“This isn’t the San Francisco that I’ve known and loved and grew up in and was born in,” Feinstein said.
No Dianne, it’s the San Francissy you’ve helped to coddle and turn into a leftist shitbox. It’s always troubled me that such a beautiful city is run and inhabited by the liberal scum of the earth. You’re partly to blame Dianne, so spare us your crocodile tears.
August 20th, 2005 at 5:43 pm
Hmm… I’m thinking that WWII was a helluva peace making moment for the world.
Call me crazy.
August 20th, 2005 at 8:59 pm
But ferchrissakes, whatever you do, don’t fucking question their patriotism.
You’d think since Roosevelt took a shit on it that they’d want to gold-plate it.
August 20th, 2005 at 9:58 pm
yeah, here’s where I say my deal about California being on a transverse fault, and it’s gonna go sideways, like North and South, not down into the ocean, yadda yadda yadda.
no, the proper way, and the most humane and rational, is with nukular misels. that’ll shut their whining up.
August 20th, 2005 at 10:25 pm
What a bunch of Leftist pussies. You’d think that i’d boycott the City in a berkeley-republican styled protest, but where else will I find strippers and Hooters? Scantily-clad and nubile women really do triumph over all.
And that puts me and Bill Clinton on the same side of an issue. [shudders]
Really, if the SF Board of Supervisors wants to remain consistent, they’ll evict the USS Pampanito. And then they’d climb into their eco-friendly Thought Police boats, cross the bay and go sink the USS Hornet.
Bastards. All of them. Damn them and their conveniently located and seemingly endless supply of single-malted scotch and/or cleavage.
August 20th, 2005 at 11:29 pm
Fun fact of the day: Feisty’s gramma and grammpa met ‘n fell in love when Feisty’s grammpa docked in San Fran following WWII.
San Francisco can kiss my ass for not allowing the ship to dock there.
August 21st, 2005 at 12:10 am
What can I say coming from the People Republic of Kalifornication. Micheal Savage must be livid over this.
August 21st, 2005 at 9:49 am
If not for that ship, San Franciscans would only have the option of tiny, Japanese penises to fill their gaping manholes.
Being that it’s the USS Iowa, with it’s John Holmeslike 16″ guns, you’d think they’d want to pretend they were naked and running backwards through a cornfield.
Mental note: San Francisco’s 1st rejection for “shore leave” for seamen from the Navy? Have The Village People been notified?
August 21st, 2005 at 11:12 am
I knew that this story lent itself to a slew of wisecracks. Thanks for picking it up and running, lady and gentlemen. Mac, if it does shake north and south, can we keep the quake from screwing up wine country?
August 21st, 2005 at 6:22 pm
PTH, I was thinking east and west, and we would be rid of most of the liberals, and the illegal alien problem would be half solved.
August 21st, 2005 at 6:23 pm
depends…is there any wine country in Washington State?
August 21st, 2005 at 10:11 pm
Isn’t this kinda’ stupidity expected from, “The Peoples Rebublic of Kalifornia”,?
I am so glad that I live in a flyover state! If I had to deal with this kind of neo-com on a day to day basis, I’d move. Oh wait, I live in PittsburgH which is a vast area of neo-com surrounded by normal thinking people. I’m lucky in that I don’t have to go downtown and deal with the true hardcore neo-coms.
Hey, I’m new to this whole blogging thing so excuse my naiteve.
I like 6MB and RTG and of course thewvsr.
BTW saoirse is Irish for FREEDOM.
26+6=1
August 26th, 2005 at 1:00 pm
The Reddest skies you’ve ever seen in Seattle
OK. But let’s put those Seattle bad-vibes back in the protective case for now, and let’s take a look at something Reddish to come out of the home of my AL West cellar-dwelling Mariners.