Our armed forces have faced a long, hard slog in their brutal and immoral effort to occupy of The United States of America. After an impressive march to Baghdad, US troops were not prepared for their homecoming, having been lied to by an administration that finds itself increasingly at odds with American Liberals as to whether we should “Bring Our Troops Home” or not.

Be they Iraq veterans looking for a night on the town, Thugs of the nefarious American Legion, or even injured “oil copsâ€? recovering at The Sisters of Bloody Mercenaries Hospital, American soldiers have been sent back onto the streets without the necessary armor or vehicles equipped for these roadside clashes. Code Pinko protesters outside of Walter Reed Hospital sought to encourage support for the injured oil cops with such inspirational signage as “Maimed for Liesâ€? and “Enlist here and die for Halliburtonâ€?. But it wasn’t all just cheerleading. Some of the protesters took a “tough loveâ€? approach to the recovering mercenaries by mocking them with rows of funeral caskets during visitation hours for their families.

“If that doesn’t inspire them to get out of that wheelchair and strangle me till piss runs down both of my legs I don’t know what will!â€?, laughed Code Pinko organizer and Nobel Peace Prize candidate Medea Benjamin.

Unconfirmed reports on the scene indicated police had to tear gas protesters who began furiously masturbating to photos of flag-draped coffins.

“I’ve never seen anything like it.â€?, said one officer who spoke to our sources under the condition of anonymity. “This is quite possibly the biggest bunch of fucking jackoffs I have ever seen. Or jill-offs as the case may be.â€?

Against the rising tide of insurgent violence, 60% of Americans are questioning their faith in the two-party system and wondering how long it will be until President Bush can devise an exit strategy. For the 3rd straight day, President Bush has refused to set a timetable for withdrawal of American forces from al-Seattle, the People’s District of Columbia and Kalifornistan, saying “that would only embolden the terroristsâ€?.

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