Two Tickets to Taradise

August 25th, 2005 at 4:19 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

It’s good to finally see real people come up with real solutions to our global terrorism problem. Like this well constructed solution from actress/whore Tara Reid:

TARA: I wish all the mean people, if you want to be mean to each other, just buy a country together and blow each other up. Then we’d have no terrorists left. Like, don’t kill innocent people for no reason. It’s not fair. We love everybody. We’d even like them if they said they’re sorry. It’s not fair that innocent people are getting hurt. It makes me sad. [pouts]

[awkward silence]

SAMY: In Monaco we are safe! No problems!

TARA: [agreeably] Nothing happens in this country!

Cuz… you know…. mean people suck…. and all that… oh, and free Tibet, man……

Note to terrorists: consider Monaco for your next assault on western civilization. Because “nothing happens” in that country! Sounds like they could use some excitement. Well, something more exciting than Tara’s plastic knockers bouncing from club to club.

H/T Eric & Jeff

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7 Responses to “Two Tickets to Taradise”

1. Mad Dog Vinnie Says:
   August 25th, 2005 at 6:29 pm

   Plastic boobs or not, idiotarianism or not, you’d do her. Admit it.

2. Preston Taylor Holmes Says:
   August 25th, 2005 at 8:45 pm

   Hey, I’m a man with needs. Never say never.

3. MacStansbury Says:
   August 25th, 2005 at 8:55 pm

   I think we can all agree that regardless of the woman’s level of silicone, the squeakiness of her voice, the hollowness of her skull, there’s not many hetero men that don’t want to do her…as long as nobody finds out about it.

4. Dean Says:
   August 25th, 2005 at 10:11 pm

   Hell yes I do her….as long as the wife didn’t find out

5. the Pirate Says:
   August 26th, 2005 at 10:18 am

   Dude I’d couldn’t do her, her nipples look like some rabid beaver chewed the shit out of them. Plus it looks like someone worked her stomach over witha baseball bat.

6. One-Fine-Day Says:
   August 26th, 2005 at 10:32 am

   The last words Tara says on a first date…..”no, not on my face”

7. MacStansbury Says:
   August 26th, 2005 at 5:12 pm

   wow, I was all ready to go on a tear with a mess of Tara-date jokes, and I realized that would just ruin the classiness of this place.

   though, I will admit, I’m anxious to use my Tara-forming puns.