Football Friday
September 2nd, 2005 at 2:22 pm by Preston Taylor HolmesWhile I could toss off another hurricane post and talk about what a douchebag the New Orleans mayor is, instead, I’ll throw out the first round of football picks this season. It doesn’t feel like Football Time in Tennessee™ yet, but according to the calendar, it damn sure is. The calendar knows everything. On we go…
- Tennessee 34, UAB 7 – UT’s defense will make things easy on Ainge & company tomorrow. Riggs will run for 4,000 yards in his first game of the season. Tomorrow night, several players will get arrested, but it will get swept under the rug and we can get ready for the Gators!
- Georgia 26, Boise State 16 – Thank God they’re playing this one in Georgia so we don’t have to look at that damn blue carpet they play on up in Boise.
- Auburn 22, Ga Tech 14 – Auburn begins its quest for a second self-proclaimed National Championship!
- Florida State 27, Miami 21 – The Florida State Whatevers will defeat the Miami Whatevers in a battle of censored nicknames. (Seminoles offends injuns and Hurricanes kill people)
- Alabama 31, MTSU 17 – The celebration after Bama’s big win over the MTSU wrecking crew will be muted due to Brody Croyle’s season-ending ankle injury in the 2nd quarter.
And you can take that to the bank.
September 2nd, 2005 at 3:02 pm
you forgot:
And Tennessee ___(player position)____ of the future ____(player name)____ was injured, dashing hopes of winning the SEC East.
but the UAB defense is better than people think, like Southern Miss. you still win, but it’s not a blowout like you’d expect from a low-ranked team. then everybody gets all mad at you for not scoring enough points, and then Texas plays in the Rose Bowl for no apparent reason.
September 2nd, 2005 at 3:29 pm
Your analysis of the games cracked me up…good job!
September 2nd, 2005 at 4:12 pm
Mac, I didn’t forget. I intentionally omitted. Eh… UAB is a snack cake – we’ll leave them laying in a puddle of their own filth by the time the clock reads 00:00.
And I think we can all agree that Texas will, for the 112th year in a row, fail to perform up to expectations.
Thanks, Michael.
September 3rd, 2005 at 12:42 pm
Roll Tide!
September 3rd, 2005 at 6:32 pm
Now that TCU knocked off Oklahoma today, you still wanna call UAB a snack cake, bub?
September 3rd, 2005 at 7:43 pm
man, I’m good.
and lookie here! Texas playing a directional school. gotta love that tough schedule.
September 3rd, 2005 at 8:32 pm
34-7?
AAAAA AAAHAHA HAHAH AHAHAH AHAHAH AHA
[edited because Vinnie intentionally screwed up my layout. bastard.]
Try 17-10
Bastard
September 3rd, 2005 at 9:13 pm
Okay, okay, so I was a little off. It’s not like I ever said “take that to the bank” or gave any type of guarantee.
September 4th, 2005 at 1:30 am
ROLL TIDE, baby!
And HELL YEAH, fuckin’ Auburn LOST! w00t!!!
September 4th, 2005 at 1:34 am
HEH.
KNOXVILLE, Tenn. (AP) – The Tennessee Volunteers looked far from the third-best team in the country Saturday.
The third-ranked Volunteers struggled with UAB all game and weren’t assured of a victory until Darrell Hackney’s fourth-down pass sailed over the head of Blazers receiver Lance Rhodes in the end zone with less than four minutes left.
Hell, I even FORGOT there WAS a football team at UAB!
…running away…
September 4th, 2005 at 3:44 am
Not my fault you use WorthlessPress
September 4th, 2005 at 10:17 am
Fire Randy Sanders. That is all.