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Preston Taylor Holmes
Knoxville, TN

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September 22nd, 2005 at 2:33 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

Citizens of Houston: Hurricane Rita is coming. Have you not left yet? Perhaps this will get you moving.

That should freak your ass out enough to get you out of town. For the rest of you looter-types who are planning to hang around just to rob, steal, loot, rape, pillage, burn, loiter and whatever the hell else you got away with in New Orleans… think again. The Houston P. D. is armed and ready. And they don’t play.


Rita has now moved the Tennessee/LSU game to 7:30 pm Monday Night (ESPN2). Perhaps during those two extra days, we’ll find an offense.

7 Responses to “ATTENTION HOUSTON”

  1. Canuck Says:

    not only do they looked armed and ready, but very, very tough.

  2. MacStansbury Says:

    it don’t matter where you people run…Chimpy McWeatherBurton’s rain machine is going to find you!!!

    man, I love that name. Chimpy McWeatherBurton. love it.

  3. Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith Says:

    I like to be in America!

  4. Johnny Walker Red Says:

    Behold: the wiffleball bat of justice!

  5. Katherine Coble Says:

    I’ll give ya a dollar if you dont’ show any pictures of school busses.

  6. Frank Says:

    Unfortunately it will take more then two days for UT to find a offense.

    I am hoping that maybe by bowl season, you know when we go to Nashville for the Music City Bowl and act like we are playing for a tie of the national championship due to the local coverage, that we will be ready to lay 49 points on Western Idaho for a 3 way tie for third place in the SEC.

  7. Preston Taylor Holmes Says:

    And Frank, when we defeat Western Idaho, I’ll be the first one in line at J.C. Penney Music City Bowl 2005 DVD and SEC 3rd Place Runner-Up t-shirt.

    Oh, and hat.

    And gigantic foam finger.

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