Football Friday
September 23rd, 2005 at 1:01 pm by Preston Taylor HolmesI just keep getting worse and worse. While Mr. Loud-Mouth-Look-At-Me-My-Football-Picks-Are-Always-Right-Mac-Stansbury continues to rub it in. Bastard.
I went 2/5 in both pro and semi-pro last week, which absoultely sucks. At least when I suck, I suck on all levels. In regard to the anemic offensive performance by my beloved Vols last week, my dad had a good point. He said, “everyone is talking about all this great talent coming back, but no one has pointed out the horrible news that the coaching staff is returning as well.” And when Randy Sanders is steering the offensive ship, it’s gonna get ugly and stay ugly.
This, and a depleted offensive line, is why LSU will beat up on the Orange Monday night 24-14. Our defense will hang in there, as they’re all we have to count on, but in the end, it will be the same offense that has ranked in the 60′s and 70′s nationally for the last several years. Elsewhere in semi-pro ball:
- Notre Dame 33 Washington 10 – The Irish are going to make Ty Willingham pay for what he did to the program for the past several years.
- Bama 36 Razorbacks 13 – I hear they’re calling Alabama QB Brodie Croyle “Vanilla Vick.” Sounds pretty racist to me. Somebody call one of the Race Reverends and get them to Tuscaloosa quick.
- Vanderbilt 28 Richmond 13 – Vandy at 4-0? I’ll have to pull for the Richmond Spiders, simply because they’re called the Spiders, which makes them scary. However, I didn’t know Richmond had a football team – I thought they were just a basketball school.
- USC 44 Oregon 15 – Watching USC this year, you’d have to think they could beat the Arizona Cardinals. They’re that good. In fact, I’m a little glad that Tennessee is pretty much out of the chase for the national title, because I wouldn’t want to play USC this year.
In pro ball, I was quite proud of the Titans for hanging 25 points on the Ravens’ defense last week. For those of us who have watched the Ravens beat up on the Titans since 2000, this was a very gratifying win. I will never forget that depressing Monday night a few years ago, drunken and dejected, leaving Adelphia after losing to the Ravens at the end of the game. I hate Brian Billick and the Ravens. Bastards.
This week, the Titans could run into trouble in St. Louis, but I’m optimistic they’ll pull out an ugly win, 22 – 17 over the Rams. Elsewhere in pro ball:
- Carolina 26 Miami 20 – Nice win over the Pats last week for the Panthers. They may be hitting a hot streak as a result.
- Pittsburgh 24 New England 21 – Speaking of the Pats, the Steelers have something to prove this week, and having New England at home will be motivating. Starting 1-2 will be a wake-up call for the Pats, though, so they’re not going to stay down for long.
- Colts 23 Browns 10 – Feel free to take a nap during this one.
- Cincinnati 29 Chicago 17 – The Bengals are back, baby. Ken Anderson will throw for 400 yards and Archie Griffin will grind out 150 yards on the ground for the resurgent Orange and Black.
That’s it for this week. Now I’ll sit back and wait for Mac to chime in and tell me what’s wrong with all my picks.
September 23rd, 2005 at 1:47 pm
uh, well, I agree with everything you’ve said this week.
I don’t know what to say.
good job?
September 23rd, 2005 at 3:04 pm
rumor has it that UT asked LSU if they could have a day game since there are no hotel rooms in the vicinity. LSU did not agree. This will add to UT’s defeat. Only die-hard UT fans will attend, and the team doesn’t have a place to relax. Thanks a lot W for screwing up UT’s record.
September 23rd, 2005 at 8:24 pm
The citizens of Nebraska will be celebrating a great victory tomorrow.
We have a bye.
Hey, maybe if we combined our offense with yours, we’d have better luck.
After all, two halves make a whole.
September 23rd, 2005 at 8:47 pm
that would require Nebraska to bring a half
(come on, you knew that was coming)
September 24th, 2005 at 12:53 am
Hey Mac, go play with the libs posting at Beth’s.
(come on, you knew THAT was coming)
September 24th, 2005 at 1:53 pm
I’m coming to grips with being the Cotillion man-whore.
take that however you think.
September 24th, 2005 at 7:25 pm
Since you’re not getting paid, that makes you a he-bitch.
That should be enough for this, though. We’ve gone so far off topic I can see Preston reaching for the Glock.
September 24th, 2005 at 9:37 pm
look, I could care less about freaking football today. nothing interested me all day. I was trying to find something, ANYTHING that would take me off of how devoid of anything else today there is. even with Miami winning, this day just sucked.
I just got this: Alabama sure didn’t score a whole lot of points. just sayin’. not that Arkansas doesn’t have a fine defense, and I can’t believe that Nutt’s never gotten the call from another, bigger school. just, they didn’t score a whole lot of points.
September 24th, 2005 at 10:00 pm
oh, and while I’m complaining, last year, the Bengals and Browns scored 547 points in a Sunday night game. it was awesome, even if it was too not-so-great teams. I was shocked when it wasn’t either of 2 games of the week on the NFL Network.
right now, I’m watching a game of the week involving the Bengals and the Vikings. and the final highlight of the game was when the Vikings scored just to avoid the shutout. the Bengals score 37. I have no clue what them NFL Network folks are doing.