This Is Not Your Father’s G.O.P.
November 14th, 2005 at 9:40 am by Preston Taylor HolmesIn the wake of the Harriet Miers humiliation, President Junior nominated a – *gasp* – qualified white male for SCOTUS, then it looked like the House and Senate were going to push through approval to drill for oil in the desolate wasteland of ANWR. It looked like things might be turning around for the impotent and hideously underhung G.O.P.
Then the snowball of G.O.P. retardation really started to pick up steam once again.
First, Iowa Senator Charles Grassley, demonstrating a free-market economic knowledge rivaled only by Cindy Sheehan and Leon Spinks, voiced his demands that oil companies take a portion of their profits and GIVE them to low-income families and senior citizens so that they don’t freeze to death this winter. Yet another G.O.P. Senator trying to buy votes by redistributing someone else’s income. This is today’s Republican Party.
Industry analysts estimate the 29 major oil and gas companies are expected to earn $96 billion this year, Grassley said.
“You have a responsibility to help less fortunate Americans cope with the high cost of heating fuels,†Grassley, whose committee deals with tax legislation, wrote in a letter to the chief of the American Petroleum Institute, the industry’s lobbying arm. He also said companies should invest more of their profits in exploration and production and refining capacity to increase supplies.
If these assholes in Congress are going to start redistributing corporate money to help with heating bills, there better be a fucking check in my mailbox as well, because if last year was any indication, we’re going to need to sell the family station wagon to pay the KUB bill this winter.
That was just a preview as both parties (which are really one in the same, as we’re all coming to realize) got together and drug Big Oil™ CEOs to their rank chambers to grill them about their profits. What they really should have done, was bring in a 6th-grade Economics teacher to give these bastard Senators a couple of lessons in basic Capitalism, since the only thing they seem to understand is the confiscation and redistribution of the work of the producers and the acceptance of bribes disguised as campaign contributions.
Thanks to the dumbed-down population that drags its collective knuckles across the fruited plain, it’s been extremely easy for the Old Media and their comrades in Congress to vilify Big Oil™ in the wake of reports of record profits across the industry. However, profits and profit-margins are two vastly different things – read Boortz’ explanation if you can’t distinguish the two. He dumbs it down pretty well for you.
Last week’s G.O.P. downward spiral continued, as a new House version of the Gang of 14 emerged. They call themselves the “Main Street Republicans.” They managed to yank approval for ANWR drilling as well as new drilling on the Pacific and Atlantic coasts (via Malkin).
I suppose Main Street Republicans would be a fine name, as long as Main Street happens to be the corner of Haight and Ashbury, or 14th Street in Washington D.C. Here is the full list of these brave “moderates” who have helped to render the G.O.P. more impotent than Prince Charles when Diana used to cuckold him for her own entertainment.
It used to be that the House was the one place where a good number of Republicans could also be considered Conservatives as well. Those days are gone. Which is why I support The Therapist’s call to support Democratic challengers to any of these bastards that are in your voting district.
Naturally most of the Main Street Republicans are the usual Northeastern liberal Republican suspects. There are hardly any Southerners in the bunch, except for Kay Granger (TX), Mark Foley (FL), Ginny Brown-Waite (FL), and Jim McCrery (LA). Every single Main Street Republican should be replaced.
Oh, did I mention that the Main Street Republicans are funded by George Fucking Soros?
This is not your father’s G.O.P. This sure as hell isn’t Ronald Reagan’s G.O.P. This is today’s G.O.P. And it isn’t worth a shit.
image via Sharp as a Marble
November 14th, 2005 at 10:07 am
Hey, no bitchin’ from SOUTHERNERS allowed about the high cost of heating.
Love always,
Feisty, owner of a 4 bedroom drafty old house in St. Paul, MN
PS: From the Therapist link referring to the ousting of impotent Republicans:
“These people need to go away with all speed, and I no longer care if they are replaced with blatant communists. I’d rather have my tax money going to an out and out slut than subsidizing whores.”
I have to disagree with you Preston and Therapist, as I support Feisty Republican Whores rather that Feisty Moonbat Skanks for congress. I think I could do a better job that those low-rent democratic hairy-armpitted slutbags.
November 14th, 2005 at 10:42 am
Of course, I would vote for you ahead of any of these “Main Street Republicans”, Feisty.
But it’s time to send a message to these assholes – and the only thing they understand is loss of power. Which stands to reason, since the only thing they care about is acquisition of power.
Fucking republicrats.
And remember, Feisty, disagreeing with me only makes you wrong. So think twice before doing so.
November 14th, 2005 at 10:49 am
Nice piece, Preston. You was so upsets that you even have had to use the F word.
I’m gonna be getting my gas bill relief cuz some of the Republicrats care about us. I we canst get reparations, we sure as hell deserves to get us some gas bill relief and maybe even some cheaper gasolean.
My democrack friend say dat one day, you’ll have to insert a card into da gas pump dat tells da pump how much $ you make. If you make a lot, then the price goes up. I canst wait.
November 14th, 2005 at 10:57 am
PTH – I don’t know what the hell you’re complaining about. Judging by the graphic, the Democrebuplicacentrist party has generously installed a P-trap on the waste line of that donkephant. So you’re only going to smell this stuff when it’s freshly minted. A little flush down the memory hole and a little spray of Country Spice Wizard, and it’ll be like it none of it ever happened. Go back to sleep and leave the governing to the experts.
(But do you know if it’s a problem that the lawn is getting a little squishy above the septic tank…)
November 14th, 2005 at 11:13 am
This Is Not Your FatherÂ’s G.O.P.
This Is Not Your FatherÂ’s G.O.P.
November 14th, 2005 at 12:13 pm
Perhaps the better option to pulling the “D” lever reflexively would be to endorse the opposing “R” during primaries or abandon the “R” altogether and go Indepedent – whatever the stripe. The Democratic party has done nothing to deserve any particular reward, so tossing support their way is not a pleasant solution either.
I’m with you in spirit, just not in action. Sadly, due to the wonderful tool of gerrymandering, dislodging an incumbent seems more difficult after every election/census. At any rate, looking for alternatives has become a new priority. Done it before; will do it again.
November 14th, 2005 at 1:17 pm
Good point, Drivel. Obviously, I would support any of the primary opponents to any of these assholes. But, as you said, getting rid of incumbents is even harder during the primaries. We’re screwed.
When it comes down to it, I don’t know if I could really physically pull the lever for a Donk. I would probably simply stay home – which, as we’ve seen in the past, when the Repub base stays home, Donks win, so it’s effectively the same thing.
If the fucking Libertarians would take the defense of this nation more seriously, I’d pull the lever for them. Otherwise, they’d be a good alternative.
I’m just too pissed off today to think straight.
November 14th, 2005 at 4:22 pm
We’re turning into France, where the ‘conservatves’ are just to the right of Mao
November 14th, 2005 at 4:32 pm
Welcome back Jeff. (Even though, technically, you never left.)
November 14th, 2005 at 4:38 pm
I couldn’t agree with you more. And it makes me cry. (much like the UT game)
November 14th, 2005 at 7:21 pm
Vote Libertarian anyway. Or another third party rather than vote for a Dem (unless he/she happens to be one of the very few good ones left.
If you vote for a Dem, they’ll consider it a mandate for all the crap they want to foist on us. I don’t know about you, but I can’t afford more taxes–literally.
If you don’t have a third party candidate, stay home & don’t vote. It’ll will get the message across.
And when you start getting their little flyers in the mail, send it back sans donation try this instead-http://www.ericsgrumbles.net/archives/125135.php
November 14th, 2005 at 7:22 pm
Why are you bringing Leon Spinks into this? That’s not fair to him, or to the Spinks name in general.
November 14th, 2005 at 8:07 pm
I’ve been trying to dislodge my Republicrat Mike Castle for years now. I doubt I’ll have much more success in ‘06. But trying makes me happy!
I doubt a handful of Libertarians in Congress will alter the defense of the U.S. in any meaningful way, but it might wake the GOP up.
November 14th, 2005 at 8:12 pm
You’re right, Lee, I’m sorry. It’s just that I figured, if there was ever a name that went hand-in-hand with political debate, it’s LEON SPINKS.
And I think you’re right Unabrewer. All we can do is scare the GOP enough to realize that their base is not a given and that they’re going to have to grow a set and start acting like conservatives instead of tonguing the dumpers of the Donks and the illiberal media. [/runonsentence]
November 14th, 2005 at 8:34 pm
Views on the GOP
I’m not the only blogger who is fed up with the Republicans (see Flee The Republicrats). A few others who are voicing their disgust with the GOP: Six Meat Buffet Tom Rants Sharp as a Marble Michelle Malkin Neal Boortz