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Al Up In The Family, Yo

December 4th, 2005 at 1:50 pm by Smantix

CBS execs to America: “That Al Sharpton is so hot right now.”

After Dan Rather’s Memogate, the TV series Becker, the short-lived (and even shorter haired) Ellen Show, and having Barbra Streisand’s husband play Ronald Reagan in their hitpiece of the former First Family, the action-oriented leadership at CBS has again given the public what they want. Enter stage left, “Al In the Family”:

NEW YORK – He’s been a minister, an activist and a presidential candidate. Now Al Sharpton wants to be a sitcom star.


The Democrat, who has also run for mayor of New York and the U.S. Senate, said one possible episode would have one of his TV children becoming a Republican.

“I don’t know if I am a good actor or not, but I will be playing myself and I have been practicing that for 51 years,” he said.

If CBS is going to do nothing more than photonegative Norman Lear’s topical social satire, might I add a few episode suggestions:

1) Have Sharpton’s daughter begin dating a fully-employed, God-fearing, babykilling, white phosphorous bombing Operation Iraqi Freedom veteran. When the veteran tells Revvum Al that getting rid of Saddam Hussein was a good thing to do regardless of finding WMDs, that’s when the real War of The Worlds begins and not an Exit Strategy in sight!

2) When word circulates that a house on the block is for sale, Sharpton gets together with some other concerned neighborhood citizens to keep any dirty Jew interlopers from moving into his neighborhood and then promptly burn their house down when they do. With them in it!

3) When a neighborhood teen winds up covered in her own feces on Al’s door, it’s a march down to the police station for some good old fashioned slander! Lawyers ensue. Special guest appearance by the Ghost of Johnnie Cochran.

4) Smack it up, flip it, rub it down….oh nooooo! Adultery ensues as Al and Family unexpectedly receive sexy visitors. Special guests Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick and his Hedonism III loving wife to stay for the weekend. With a cameo by Naomi Wolf who brings the faux snakeskin double-dong and anal beads.

4 Responses to “Al Up In The Family, Yo”

  1. Vinnie Says:

    “faux snakeskin double-dong and anal beads.”

    Can’t wait to see the Google rank on THAT one.


  2. Smantix Says:

    And after that, I’m going for the #1 Google Ranking for “dropping a deuce”.

  3. Michael O'Connor Says:

    Congrats to the Fab Four for being selected as finalists in the 2005 Weblog Awards. 6MB is as fine an outlet for the latest news in the gay and lesbian community as anyone out there. Now if you can only get Cranky to “come out” that could be the kind of headline investigative journalism that could put you over the top.

  4. Yiddish Steel Says:

    Dude! “Dropping a deuce!” That’s what my kids say when they’re emptying the stool chute. I once had a neighbor who loved to “perform the ace” on another neighbor’s accumlating trash pile beside his house. I used to encourage another neighbor to get involved by saying, “Brian performed the ace, now it’s your turn to do the deuce!”.

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