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Klaus Nomi Picks the 2005 Bloggies

December 6th, 2005 at 12:54 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

Six Meat Buffet interviews the ghost of Klaus Nomi on his picks for the 2005 Weblog Awards

PTH: So, Klaus. Dead, eh? What’s that like?


KN: I am not here to discuss the afterlife with you, blogger. I am here to discuss my preferences for the 2005 Weblog awards. And nothing more. This is what my manager said we would discuss and that is final. If you ask me any more questions unrelated to this topic, I will dissolve back into the otherworld. Understood?

PTH: Understood. Male counter-tenor apparitions sure are a touchy lot. A lot of our readers will probably be confused to (1) see your bizarre mug and (2) read your comments regarding blogs, which weren’t even around when you died more than twenty years ago. How did you become an authority on bloggery?

KN: Thank you for returning to the topic at hand. I know little about this thing called “blog” because I’ve been browsing the internet with an Apple Afterlife™ G4 I-Mac Blackbird Portable Computing Device. It does have an ethernet card. * chuckles demurely *

PTH: Geek poltergeist comedy is unbecoming, Klaus.

KN: LAUGH! LAUGH NOW, BLOGGER! Or I will leave. I left David Bowie, I can leave you twice as easily. Just try me, mere mortal.

PTH: Okay, okay. Back to the awards. Who is your pick for best overall blog?


KN: This is an easy category. Little Green Footballs. For many reasons, none of which I will tell you about.

I do enjoy Michelle Malkin and Instapundit, but I don’t visit them nearly as often as I visit Charles’ place. I realize that I’m supposed to be raking him over the coals or something for the whole openpajamamedia thing, but I just don’t care about that whole story.

PTH: Interesting. On to the “new kids on the blog block”. Which blog is your pick for best new blog?

KN: Though this will undoubtedly ruffle Vinnie’s feathers, my pick has to be Wuzzadem.

It’s non-stop hilarity over there. And when your afterlife is as tedious as mine is, you need the occasional pick-me-up.

PTH: I’m sorry to hear that your afterlife isn’t as exciting as your regular life was. But we must continue. Which blog is your pick for best group blog?

KN: This one is easy as well. The Cotillion.

Though I don’t swing that way, there is something about all that estrogen gathered in the same place. It’s mammary central over there. I’m usually only a lurker when I visit the Cotillion – it’s much like when I was a youngster and would peek into the girls’ locker room through a crack in the wall. Except instead of pom-poms, these girls have computers.

PTH: How disturbing. Which blog is your pick for best humor/comics blog?


KN: Six Meat Buffet. Besides, I heard that Jeff from Beautiful Atrocities eats babies.

PTH: I doubt you have any real evidence to back up that rumor, but I suppose people should vote for Six Meat Buffet just to be safe. Next, which, in your opinion, is the best conservative blog?

KN: This is the most difficult category for me. I visit Ace of Spades, Jawa Central, Say Anything and Debbie Schlussel almost every day.

I guess I’d have to go with The Jawa Report. The druid spirits that follow me in the afterlife kind of look like little Jawas, so that’s a good enough tiebreaker.

PTH: We’re running out of time for this interview, Klaus. Do you have any final recommendations to share with our readers?

KN: I suppose I can do that.

Best Mil Blog: Froggy.

Best Culture Blog: LlamaButchers

Best Blog Design: A tie between Sharp as a Marble and Demure Thoughts. I just can’t decide, so I won’t.

Best of the top 250: Beth

Best of the 501-1000: Vinnie. (With Jane, Digger & Mac close behind)

Best of the 1750-2500: Gleeson

Best of the 3501-5000: Feisty. She’s the super-smart Republican whore with a heart of gold. (Sorry, Dave!)

Best of the 6751-8750: Truth, Quante-fied

PTH: Again, Klaus, thank you for your valuable time. Even though I don’t know why you only gave us 15 minutes, seeing as how you have all of eternity to schedule other appointments.


KN: Well, simply put, you’re not even worth 15 minutes. You should be thankful I gave you that much. And I can’t say it’s been a pleasure. Because it hasn’t. Been a pleasure. That is.

PTH: One last question. Your performance of “Total Eclipse of the Sun” on Urgh, A Music War was so emotionally moving that I found myself in tears by the end of the song. Was the robotic dance choreography something you worked on in advance, or simply a by-product of being moved spiritually by the music?

KN: That’s it. Goodbye.

* The weblog awards endorsements herein are solely those of the ghost of Klaus Nomi and not of any of the authors, staff or custodians at the Buffet.


12 Responses to “Klaus Nomi Picks the 2005 Bloggies”

  1. Cranky Says:

    That is some twisted, creepy stuff, my friend. The blog choices, that is.

  2. Feisty Says:

    Klaus kinda looks like a creepy grade school janitor in Elizabethan garb.

  3. Chris Short Says:

    Well… I knew this was going to be unusual but I didn’t figure it’d be this weird.

  4. MacStansbury Says:

    I’ll have to disagree with the ghost of Klaus Nomi, as I know for a fact that he has only visited my blog once, and thus couldn’t possibly understand the complexities of my blogging ability.

    and, it was through a Technorti search, and I was kind of making fun of him. pictures of me urinating on his grave, burning him in effigy. harmless stuff, really, and he seemed to take offense.

    thin skin I tells ya.

  5. spurwing plover Says:

    He looks like a vampire to me down right scary:eek:

  6. Smantix Says:

    Terrifying.

  7. Petey Says:

    Klaus was, in fact a counter-tenor. I corrected a friend of mine on this one evening while frequenting a certain New York nightclub. Later we smoked some crack and he hit ne with a hammer, but it was good ’til then.

  8. Preston Taylor Holmes Says:

    Thanks for the tip, Petey. I’ve corrected that detail. Glad your head has recovered.

  9. Vinnie Says:

    Man…

    I am really missing Xuxa now.

  10. Petey Says:

    I should of added it was in the early ’90s. This was a reference to the Velvet Underground murder, but without calling myself Angelino and noting the raver connection, I fear I have just made myself sound like a crack user with a head wound. F me.

  11. froggy Says:

    Why didn’t you ask Dieter from Sprockets who the best milblog was, fuckface?

  12. Preston Taylor Holmes Says:

    Purely an oversight, Froggy. You know you’re my boy. And I mean that in a completely un-condescending testosterone-filled way.

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