Rudolph Lied, Children Died…. Inside
December 23rd, 2005 at 10:02 am by Preston Taylor Holmes**** BREAKING **** EXCLUSIVE ****
**** MUST CREDIT SIX MEAT BUFFET ****
I’ve just learned of yet another scandal that can be laid at the feet of Kkkarl Rove and the steps of the White House. And it’s the type of scandal that could potentially destroy Christmas for millions of children around the globe.
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is nothing more than Rudolph the Red-Nosed Fraud. That’s right – this icon of Holiday Happiness is little more than the brainchild of a poisonous advertising exec for Montgomery Ward.

Rudolph came to life in 1939 when the Chicago-based Montgomery Ward company (operators of a chain of department stores) asked one of their copywriters, 34-year-old Robert L. May, to come up with a Christmas story they could give away to shoppers as a promotional gimmick. (The Montgomery Ward stores had been buying and giving away coloring books for Christmas every year, and May’s department head saw creating a giveaway booklet of their own as a way to save money.) May, who had a penchant for writing children’s stories and limericks, was tapped to create the booklet.
May, drawing in part on the tale of The Ugly Duckling and his own background (he was a often taunted as a child for being shy, small, and slight), settled on the idea of an underdog ostracized by the reindeer community because of his physical abnormality: a glowing red nose. Looking for an alliterative name, May considered and rejected Rollo (too cheerful and carefree a name for the story of a misfit) and Reginald (too British) before deciding on Rudolph. He then proceeded to write Rudolph’s story in verse, as a series of rhyming couplets, testing it out on his 4-year-old daughter Barbara as he went along. Although Barbara was thrilled with Rudolph’s story, May’s boss was worried that a story featuring a red nose — an image associated with drinking and drunkards — was unsuitable for a Christmas tale. May responded by taking Denver Gillen, a friend from Montgomery Ward’s art department, to the Lincoln Park Zoo to sketch some deer. Gillen’s illustrations of a red-nosed reindeer overcame the hesitancy of May’s bosses, and the Rudolph story was approved. Montgomery Ward distributed 2.4 million copies of the Rudolph booklet in 1939, and although wartime paper shortages curtailed printing for the next several years, a total of 6 million copies had been given by the end of 1946.
Sure, you may argue that this scandal didn’t come from the Bush White House, but just like everything else you believe, you’d be wrong.

UPDATE:
Chris sends a link to Martin Scorcese’s Raging Rudolph. If you haven’t seen it, you should. Thanks Chris!










December 23rd, 2005 at 10:53 am
[...] It seems that the hard working team over at Six Meat Buffet as unearthed a dastardly plan, one that involves Christmas, Reindeer, and Fraud. It seems that Rudolph is a fraud and is nothing more then a marketing ploy. He was forced upon us by those that drive our economy, both visible and invisible, to deceive and to defraud us. The guys over at Six Meat even tie it this scandal to Karl Rove and the Bush White house for knowingly allowing this story to continue.Full Story at Six Meat Buffet [...]
December 23rd, 2005 at 11:25 am
thanks, preston. first liberals take Christ out of Christmas and then you show up with “facts” about rudolph not being real.
thanks. just, thanks.
December 24th, 2005 at 5:52 am
Saw your Rankin Bass pics of that Rudolph movie and I thought you’d get a kick out of this:
http://luckydawgnews.com/ragingrudolph.html
It’s Raging Rudolph and the sequel Reinfather.
Merry Christmas
December 24th, 2005 at 9:30 am
Hey Chris – I remember seeing that on Mad TV years ago. That is hilarious – thanks for the tip – I’ll link to it shortly.
December 25th, 2005 at 12:17 pm
Sunday Funnies
image courtesy of faithmouse
IMAO has the Carnival of Comedy
The Squib has the Carnival of Satire
Point Five reports that The U.S. is Unable To Build Border Wall Without Illegal Labor
Conservative Cat has a List of Funny Stuff
The Nose on Your Face …
December 25th, 2005 at 12:21 pm
[...] Six Meat Buffet says: Rudolph Lied Children Died The Dicklist introduces The ACLU’s Holiday Clause The Political Pitbull has photos of Elton John’s Wedding Danegerous has some peanuts for Christmas [...]