Now THIS Is Torture
December 27th, 2005 at 10:47 am by CrankyDo you think the Bataan Death March was the worst form of torture the Japanese inflicted on the citizens of the United States? Guess again.
It is clearly Dance Mania! This seemingly innocuous toy entered our household December 25.
Here’s what the product literature says:
Bratz Dance Mania – the electronic game that get you groovin! Get your mates round and party! It’s time to break out and hit the dance floor with the Bratz Dance Mania electronic game!
It should actually read, “watch your middle-aged dad flail around to an eight-bit rendition of Funky Town performed by Kyoto’s own Galaxian’s Revival Band!”
I have not been as worried about Japan since the Eighties when we were sure they were going to buy us out completely.
Someone call Sen. McCain.
December 27th, 2005 at 12:04 pm
“It should actually read, ‘watch your middle-aged dad flail around to an eight-bit rendition of Funky Town performed by Kyoto’s own Galaxian’s Revival Band!‒
I really could have made it through the day without that bit of reality, which hits a little too close to home!
December 27th, 2005 at 2:39 pm
Dude… Blame it all on this guy! http://www.kobukuro.com/jpg/photos/2003new/final/12-30-machan.jpg If armageddon’s countdown has begun in your household, look no further than the inventor/creator of Donkey Kong & Super Mario Bros. Everything 8bit, 16bit, 32bit, 64bit, Japan is a direct descendent of this man!
December 27th, 2005 at 7:04 pm
Him!! My wasted youth is upon his head!
Thanks for the tip, Y.S.
December 27th, 2005 at 7:37 pm
Bwahahaha!
Shoulda got the football one!
December 28th, 2005 at 12:58 am
Bataan Dance March
Cranky gets in the last word on the torture debate.
…
December 28th, 2005 at 9:21 am
Anything with Bratz in it is of the devil.
December 28th, 2005 at 9:35 am
You’re just preparing everybody up for the announcement that Cranky is actually the Daily Dancer.
Won’t you take me to Funky Town…
December 28th, 2005 at 8:36 pm
so, um… you’re saying you’ve never heard of dance dance revolution?
but gail’s right about the bratz. no kid of mine will ever possess one of those big-headed freak-eyed streetwalkers.
December 28th, 2005 at 8:42 pm
“big-headed freak-eyed streetwalkers”
I can’t stand those damn things. This is the best description of them I’ve heard to date.
December 28th, 2005 at 10:21 pm
Bratz, or as we affectionately call it here, Slutz are disturbing. It is I agree with PTH, that is the best description.
And Phin, where did you find that dancing guy? Yeeesh!
December 29th, 2005 at 8:16 am
We call them the same thing, Gordo. No Bratz will darken our door.
The sad thing is, we even had a hard time finding a Barbie for Emily that wasn’t, um, dressed down so to speak.
December 29th, 2005 at 8:28 am
Vinnie,
If you can handle the Victorian, home-schoolish thing, try the American Girl dolls. My daughter loves to play with them, just after the harpsichord lessons.
December 29th, 2005 at 10:15 am
Cranky, don’t you know that American Girl dolls will “turn your kid into a lesbian”? Just ask this guy:
American Girl Dolls Controversy
Go with Madame Alexander. Better quality, and no gay baiting!
Madame Alexander