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Preston Taylor Holmes
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PETA Idiot Takes It Up a Notch

December 31st, 2005 at 12:52 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

PETA Staffer Chris Garnett (*gasp* – a “youth coordinator”) has legally changed his name to “KentuckyFriedCruelty.Com”.

“People don’t believe me at first when I tell them my name, but it never fails to spark a discussion,” Garnett, er, KentuckyFriendCruelty.com, said in a statement. “Many vow to boycott KFC after I explain the company’s indifference to cruelty to animals.”

Well, people are probably surprised that anyone could be such a fucking idiot, Chris. Luckily, Chris has the big knockers brains of PETA on his side – namely, Pamela Anderson.

Stacked star Pamela Anderson, who has narrated a PETA video showing the alleged abuse, supports Garnett’s name change.

“I’m sure Chris can’t wait ’till KFC stops torturing chickens so he can change his name back,” the actress said in a statement, adding that the chicken abuse “is awful and has to stop.”

Pammy, as soon as you stop your torturous abuse of television viewers, we can start negotiations. Until then, just shut up, look pretty and stick that rack out for the world to enjoy.

That tears it. I’m heading to the KFC on Cedar Bluff right now to get a big fat bucket of Original Recipe, all white-meat with a side of mashed potatoes and gravy.

hat-tip: Mrs. Holmes


This entry was posted on Saturday, December 31st, 2005 at 12:52 pm and is filed under People are Stupid. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

7 Responses to “PETA Idiot Takes It Up a Notch”

  1. Nashville Knucklehead Says:
    December 31st, 2005 at 1:49 pm

    I have a long-standing boycott against KFC. I think he is right! Their chicken is way too greasy. Give me Mrs. Winner’s any day!

  2. canuck Says:
    December 31st, 2005 at 1:50 pm

    hey, p. pick me up a bucket also, would ya. i have some cash on hand and will pay you when you get here.

    oh, and happy new year.

    :)

  3. Stop The ACLU Says:
    January 1st, 2006 at 12:05 pm

    New Year’s Sunday Funnies

    image courtesy of faithmouse
    Baldilocks tells us why why her hair isn’t grey
    Barking Moonbat tells us of the PETA idiot that changed their name to KentuckyFriedCruelty.com
    Sixmeat Buffet has a few choice words for the idiot.
    Indepundit tells u…

  4. Peakah's Provocations... Says:
    January 1st, 2006 at 9:45 pm

    Deep Fried Dipwad

    Just remember… No Choking the Chicken!

  5. Steve the LLamabutcher Says:
    January 2nd, 2006 at 10:42 am

    Hasn’t Pamela Anderson choked more than a few chickens in her lifetime? H

  6. The World According To Carl Says:
    January 2nd, 2006 at 11:29 am

    More PETA Goofiness

    According to Forbes online…

    A 19-year-old PETA staffer has legally changed his name to KentuckyFriedCruelty.com.

    The rest of the article is at the Forbes website. Just goes to show how goofy and useless PETA actually is. In my corner of the wor…

  7. Carl Says:
    January 2nd, 2006 at 11:31 am

    I don’t eat chicken at KFC but it’s not for the way they choose to kill the chickens nor is it for any reason of PETA’s but just for the reason that Popeye’s fried chicken is so much better! Let the free market reign supreme!