Here are two quick and easy ways to irritate/annoy/anger your coworkers on an unproductive and unmotivated Friday afternoon.

1) After leaving a particularly foul stench in the restroom, emerge in a boisterous and victorious fashion. Loudly announce “Whooooooooooo! Somebody better call the Warden, cuz that was a serious jailbreak!”

It helps if some of the stench wafts out into nearby cubicles.

Note: If there are no co-workers within earshot of your announcement, please go to the company intercom and announce “Please do not use the restroom on such-and-such floor until the foundation is repaired and the EPA investigation is complete.”

2) Hang around outside the company restroom - it helps if someone spends a longer-than-usual amount of time taking care of their business.

When that person emerges, approach them in a concerned fashion and tell them, “Oh my God! I heard that! Are you okay? Do you need to go to the hospital?”

They will either appreciate your concern or report you to Human Resources. Either way, you’ll have a good time.

Posted by Preston Taylor Holmes @ 3:39 pm
3 Comments and 2 Trackbacks | Permalink | Trackback URI

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:: Trackbacks/Pingbacks ::

1. Bigger-Better-Faster-More

   Today’s dose of NIF - News, Interesting & Funny … limited blogation weekend starting (+ Open Trackbacks)

   Trackback by NIF — Friday, January 6, 2006 7:30 pm | permalink

   
   

2. Sunday Funnies

   image courtesy of faithmouse
   OK! Lets start this off with some Girls Gone Wild Baghdad Style!
   Want a really good laugh? Check out the free blogad that Beaming Visionary gave us! Jesus, uuuuuugh, duuuuuurrrr, yay! duuuuhhh, ung-nuhh, liberals ba…

   Trackback by Stop The ACLU — Sunday, January 8, 2006 12:15 pm | permalink

   
   

:: Comments ::

1. I’ve always preferred to slip bottle rockets and jumping jacks under the door when somebody is performing their morning crimes against humanity.

   Of course since the employee manual has been rewritten banning firecrackers from inside the workplace we’ve had to resort to jamming the door shut with a chair until we feel the stench has died down.

   Hey the “enter at your own risk” sign is on the door for a reason.

   comment by phin — Friday, January 6, 2006 @ 3:57 pm

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2. This reminds me of a sign I saw posted above the can in a particularly rank gender-neutral single-user bathroom:

   “We aim to please. You aim too, please.”

   comment by Feisty — Saturday, January 7, 2006 @ 11:30 am

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3. Oh my! *wiping tears from eyes* That was too, too hilarious. Thanks for the laugh!

   comment by Kiki B. — Tuesday, January 10, 2006 @ 12:16 am

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