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WTW: Recycling Nazis

January 18th, 2006 at 9:34 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

Before I start, let me just say, there are so many good reasons to hate Seattle.

There’s the Seahawks, who I’ve hated ever since Jim Zorn was unfairly run out of town on a rail. He was the only QB in the league at the time whose last name started with a Z, and that alone should have preserved his starting spot.

There’s also the constant rain. It’s no wonder all the grunge rockers in the early nineties wore flannel and played depressing minor chords. Then you have Starbucks, the Supersonics, Frazier, the Space Needle and countless hippies masquerading as urban hipsters drinking $8 lattes.

But now there’s a new reason to hate Seattle – the Recycling Nazis. If you live in Seattle proper, recycling is MANDATORY. And in 2006, they’ve started enforcing this leftist big-brother program by going through your trash and making sure there are no recycleables in your refuse.

Sounds like utter madness, but it’s true.

Recycling is almost a religion in Seattle. The devotion gets more complicated, with mandatory enforcement on homeowners who are already recycling at 56 percent of total waste.

Seattle’s new enforcement plan for garbage and recycling means trash collectors are now lifting the lid on garbage cans and dumpsters to see if homeowners and businesses are putting too much paper, cardboard, cans or other recyclables out with the regular garbage. The city has set a limit that says no more than 10 percent of the total garbage should contain recyclable materials.

Businesses in violation receive two warnings, followed by a $50 fine. Homeowners will not be fined but will have garbage left behind a week. So far, since the start of the new program, about 10 homeowners a day are coming home to garbage that has not been picked up.

This gives common sense a bad name. Give people an incentive or a discount if they do it right. Don’t leave smelly, week-old trash lying around.

In fairness, trash collectors are not snooping through individual garbage bags. They are eyeballing contents of garbage cans.

So you’ll either be slapped with a fine or have your trash sitting out for another week if you don’t comply with the Recycling Nazis.

I find it so delightfully ironic that the bedwetters on the left cry like colicky infants when the Feds listen in on phone calls to terrorists, but have no problem with the government coming and sniffing through your trash to make sure you’re in compliance with their little program.

So, Seattle, let me help you out. In the Holmes’ household we have a little saying: One World, One Trash Can. You’ll find plenty of recycleables in our trash, and that’s where they’ll stay – in honor of the Seattle Recycling Nazis.

Here are your White Trash Wednesday bloggers….


7 Responses to “WTW: Recycling Nazis”

  1. Feisty Says:

    Awhile ago I was forced to tour the recycling plant to see how cans and all that get recycled. The guy giving the tour, the guy in CHARGE of the recycling plant, said that it was nice that everyone recycled, but that only 20% or so of aluminum, for example, ever gets recycled into a useable product.

    “You have to have someone to buy all this used aluminum, ya know.” He said that while we should recycle, we shouldn’t legislate it or whatever since it would just mean that there would be more aluminum to get rid of.

    This was the guy IN CHARGE of the recycling plant saying this.

    Haven’t recycled since.

  2. Feisty Says:

    Oh, I forgot to mention that the recycling guy said he was “instructed” not to “tell this information to children” under any circumstances since mostly children toured the plant, but he could tell us since we were adults “only if [we] asked specifically how much aluminum was turned into a useable product.”

    Kinda weird. Like a little recycling conspiracy.

  3. Preston Taylor Holmes Says:

    Not to mention the increase in pollution and environmental damage from the plants who have to process increasing amounts of recycled clutter. I recall reading something about that in the paper a year or so ago. Perhaps someone remembers that and can fill me in.

  4. MCPO Airdale Says:

    THe Seattle PBS station should be required to show the episode on recycling from Penn & Teller’s “Bullshit”.

  5. Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith Says:

    In defense of Seattle, go check out Deja Vu Lake City, just north of the city limits. And once you’ve given Mikhaila all of your money save three bucks, drive down the street to Dick’s

  6. William Teach Says:

    I tell ya, I was sitting there watching the Giants-Seahags game couple months ago, and I was like “WTF?” It was sunny. Nothing better then football in the elements, and it is freakin sunny in freakin seattle. The one day of the year it doesn’t rain their.

    But, it is not wonder there are so many liberals there: all that rain can be depressing. And libs like to be depressed. Makes them happy.

  7. scrapiron Says:

    New recycling tactic. Remove all address labels and anything else that will identify you. Cut a hole in the floor of your car and build a trap door. Drop your trash through the door a little at a time and let the high paid trash picker uppers get it.:grin::grin:

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