Just a few quick fatty fried news bites before I have to actually get some real work done.

• The Palestinian people have proven that more than half of them fully support terrorism by electing an assload of Hamas leaders to parliament. For you Palestinian apologists who claim that the terrorists are just a small segment of the Pali population, this election pretty much demonstrates that you’re full of it. The only “road map to peace” with these murderers is a road that is paved over their entire so-called state.
• The U.S. has decided that it does indeed negotiate with terrorists as we’re going to release five female prisoners in exchange for lefty journalist (is there any other kind…) Jill Carroll. A U.S. spokesman: “Let me assert that there is no connection between the release and kidnapping of the US reporter. The release was finalised after a review by the Iraqi-US board.” Whatever.
• President Junior’s best buddy Vicente Fox is handing out handy-dandy maps so that the layabouts and criminals he’s sending across the Arizona border will know where to stop and fill up their thermoses on their way to raping our social services. The effort is to “curb the death toll” among illegal border-crossers. Not to sound insensitive (me, never!), but if they don’t want to fry like an egg in the desert, STAY HOME. I care more about the toll illegals take on our infrastructure than the death toll of those breaking our laws and pissing on those who have immigrated to the U.S. legally.
• Speaking of President Junior, according to Fox News, the White House has announced a press conference this morning at 10:15 am. If you’re into unintentional comedy and rolling malaprops, by all means, tune in!
• You Blackberry addicts may all need to go into rehab next week unless Blackberry pays a $1 billion ransom to a guy who filed a patent for the technology way back in 1990. Now that’s what I call an investment. That makes Hitlery’s cattle futures payoff look like chicken feed.
• Self-righteous part-time-messiah and rockstar Bono is launching yet another campaign to fight AIDS. The campaign is expected to have little impact as it only consists of his own promise “to use raincoats” from now on.
• Unseeded Cyprian madman Marcos Baghdatis is in the Australian Open men’s final – likely against Roger Federer on Sunday – after knocking off heavy favorite David Nalbandian. If you haven’t tuned in to the open to see Marcos’ girlfriend, you’re seriously missing out.

  

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