Welcome to Johnnie B. Cochran Middle School
January 27th, 2006 at 9:14 am by Preston Taylor HolmesIn yet another shining example of America’s failing public schools, a middle school in Los Angeles has decided to “take failure up a notch” by naming itself after the ghost of world-famous attorney Johnnie Cochran.
School district officials voted unanimously for the name change on Tuesday, saying Cochran, who attended the former Mt. Vernon Middle School as a boy, was an “extraordinary, superb lawyer with movie-star celebrity status.”
But the sister of Simpson’s ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, whom the former star football player and actor was charged with stabbing and slashing to death, said she was stunned by the move.
“It’s in bad taste,” Denise Brown told Reuters. “Yeah, he was a great defense attorney. But what about your moral obligation to children and society?”
Cochran, who died last year of a brain tumor at age 67, was the lead attorney for Simpson. He accused Los Angeles police of framing his client because he was black and famously told the jury, “If it doesn’t fit, you must acquit,” in reference to a bloody glove found at Simpson’s house.
In addition to Cochran’s status as a “superb lawyer with movie-star celebrity status,” school officials added that they were proud of Johnnie for “getting The Juice off for giving that cracker-ass whore and her greaseball what they had coming.”
School officials also urge students – for the hundredth time – to place their weapons and drug paraphernalia safely and securely in their locker upon entering the building.
There are currently negotations underway in several other greater Los Angeles-area school districts to have other elementary schools named after Harry Belofante, Oprah Winfrey, Tookie Williams, Eddie Murphy, Damian “Football” Williams and Whitney Houston’s Coke Spoon.
Johnnie Cochran’s ghost could not be reached for comment.
January 27th, 2006 at 2:11 pm
If you fail, you must not wail.
January 27th, 2006 at 7:45 pm
Learn by rote, we will promote.
Eh, whatever, it’s Friday.:arrow: