What I Would Have Said…
February 15th, 2006 at 1:07 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes…if I had been the clerk behind the counter at the U.S. Post Office on Sutherland Avenue yesterday.
Unkempt, scraggly-beareded, patchouli-soaked, Grateful-Dead-hat-wearing, birkenstock-footed ape-man-customer: “I need a book of 20 first-class stamps.”
Me, playing the role of postal clerk: “No, what you need is a razor and some shaving cream, some tennis shoes, a decontaminating shower, some deodorant, some clean clothes, a lot of soap, and a job.”
Unkempt, scraggly-beareded, patchouli-soaked, Grateful-Dead-hat-wearing, birkenstock-footed ape-man-customer: “Wha?”
Me, playing the role of postal clerk: “Will that be debit or credit?”
Boy howdy, do I hate hippies.
February 15th, 2006 at 3:38 pm
I remember as a kid here in San Diego all the Hippies that used to wlak along the Pcific Coast Highway with their whumb out hitchhiking. I remember my dad would slow down and pull over just ahead of them as if to offer a ride, and as soon as that scum-bag hippie walked up to the car my dad would always say “not until you take a goddam bath, Hippie!”
Ah, yes… 1974, 1975… Good times…
February 15th, 2006 at 5:29 pm
Sweeeet. That’s the best story I’ve heard all week.
February 15th, 2006 at 6:31 pm
Dude, you really should consult an actual postal employee before writing something like this. They might be able to give you a more accurate fake quote.
hehehehehehehe
February 15th, 2006 at 7:27 pm
Better yet, a Janice Joplin wanna be in front of you in the grocery store. Her five nasty ass snot nosed kids, picking up candy bars screaming “Buy this bitch”
February 16th, 2006 at 9:08 pm
You just described the guy who mooches all the time on the street where I live. This mooch sometimes has a pooch who has the most mournful look on her face. When she’s not with him, we joke that she left him because she was tired of always getting fleas from him.