AP – Are Bears Anti-Hygiene?
April 10th, 2006 at 9:14 am by CrankyAP Exclusive Shocker!!
Bears shun the use of restroom facilities even in cases where they are provided by the Parks and Recreation Service.
There is some speculation that bears may be on an anti-hygiene crusade. “We are frankly offended that bears reject our values and spit in our faces,” say National Forestry officials.
“C’mon,” retorted a North American Brown bear who would only be identified as “Smokey”, “it’s not what we do. Taking care of business in the woods is part of our values system and our convictions. Is this news? Why can’t you respect that?”
April 11th, 2006 at 5:05 pm
Cranky, Smokeyesque bears have an overtly masculine culture and are Ursaphobic. Only the George Michael kind of Bear from Vermont Teddy will use the servicio.