Here’s a newsflash. An inebriated, Kennedy drunk drives his car into an object at rest and doesn’t kill somebody.

Way, to, uh…raise tha bah.

Taking as much time as Dick Cheney did to alert the media about shooting his hunting partner in the face (and less time than his dad to report killing a girl), Patrick Kennedy, the congressional Rub-a-Dub of Rhode Island and son of the practicing alcoholic/”gay illiterate” of the Kennedy Klan, abused his position of authority to get out of even taking a field sobriety test after playing chicken with a street barricade and losing.

Per Roll Call:

“The driver exited the vehicle and he was observed to be staggering,” Baird’s letter states. Officers approached the driver, who “declared to them he was a Congressman and was late to a vote. The House had adjourned nearly three hours before this incident. It was Congressman Patrick J. Kennedy from Rhode Island.”

Baird wrote that Capitol Police Patrol Division units, who are trained in driving under the influence cases, were not allowed to perform basic field sobriety tests on the Congressman. Instead, two sergeants, who also responded to the accident, proceeded to confer with the Capitol Police watch commander on duty and then “ordered all of the Patrol Division Units to leave the scene and that they were taking over.”

Aside from a stint in coke rehab, Kennedy’s recent troubles with getting hammered are well established.

UPDATE: Son of Sot is now claiming that he was taking prescription medication, as if operating a motor vehicle under the influence of prescription drugs somehow does not qualify as DUI. Because it still does.

In fact, Ambien already has quite a reputation for unpredictable and dangerous side effects.

Whatcha say Pattycakes just submits to a blood test and clear this misunderstanding up on the spot? His cred is already shot after not having to submit to a field sobriety test. The liquor would be out of his system but his alibi wouldn’t.

UPDATE 2!: The Boston Herald is reporting this morning that:

“He was drinking a little bit,” said the woman, who works at the Hawk & Dove and would not give her name.

Leaving his office late last night, Kennedy refused to say whether he’d been to the Hawk & Dove the night before.

Quite a contrast to I wasn’t drinking at all. But liars lie. That’s what they do.

Now when they can actually get Teddy to respond as to why he did not even report to the police after he took his car for a swim with Mary Jo Kopechne in it – maybe justice will finally get served in that case. It took decades to get Michael Skakel too.

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 4th, 2006 at 7:06 pm and is filed under Bizarro. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.