My name is Aleta Trauger and I am an activist judge. By “activist judge” I mean that Bill Clinton appointed me to the bench for a reason. I’ve risen from being Democrat Mayor Phil Bredesen’s Chief of Staff, a ’92 Clinton-Gore delegate, to a mediocre bankruptcy judge to a U.S. District Court judge in a short 6 years! I’m a symbol of what an affirmative actioned Donk crony can do when she screws the right man who knows how to do the old quid pro quo – like real hard. With the right political connections, it’s been my privilege to impose my own personal and ideological vision through the courts when “the Will of the People” moves too slowly for my progressive tastes.

Thy gavel be true. By fiat I rule.

Sometimes silly little things like “the law” get in the way of progress:

Take today for example. Less than 24 hours ago, a three-judge panel of real savages wanted to kill a man in cold blood! Not on my watch fellas. Step aside and let a lady show you how to wield the stick. I issued a stay in Sedley Alley’s execution because I really, really think that there is a snowball’s chance in hell that a Supreme Court packed with conservative Bush appointees is going to overturn established law on lethal injection. Why, that might cause this convicted murderer some itty-bitty pain on his way to Hell’s Eternal Buttslammer.

Just because he murdered and raped a Marine. Ran over her with his car. Stabbed her in the head with a screwdriver, strangled her and raped her with a 31 inch stick so far that it punctured her lung. I’m with you Sedley! Christ knows you shouldn’t be made to suffer.

Or say you accidentally kidnap and accidentally rape an 8 year old girl before you accidentally stab her to death. I was with you too Robert Glen Coe! Someone has to speak up for our nation’s child rapist/murderers or else the Republicans have already won.

Maybe you’re black, have bad credit and like to live above your means. I am for you as well. Last year I made it illegal for automotive credit companies to equally apply the same standards to you as they do to everybody else. That’s racist! Though I could find no effort by the company to intentionally discriminate against you – we made things right.

Even though “In this case, the “null hypothesis” is that there
is no difference between the subjective markup paid by African-American and White PRIMUS customers”, I knew better. Even though numerically more whites were paying mark-ups on their vehicle loans, blacks were represented by a higher percentage due to their bad credit.

Thanks to me, those same credit companies must now engage in predatory lending or else I’ll take their ass out. I mean, how come you can’t pay a $450 a month car note when you only make $800 a month and have bad credit? That’s just racist and so now you can run out on the car note you couldn’t afford with impunity!

Or maybe you and 39 of your Muslim buddies want to shutdown an assembly line every night to hold prayer services to Allah on company time. You know who’s Mohammed’s right hand dhimmi don’t ya? Sharia in the house.

Friend to murderers, child rapists, racebaiting hucksters and unions of Muslim thugs. My name is Aleta Trauger. But you can call me God.

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