Do You Miss Your College Days?
May 15th, 2006 at 11:40 am by CrankyIf so, then you must pay a visit to the Hatemonger’s Quarterly. The results are in for their Third Annual Horrible College-Student Poetry Competition.
As always, it’s so bad, it’s good. In fact, if you are missing your college days. This will cure your misguided nostalgia.
My fave? “My sole is a frayed sock”
Excerpt:
My sole is a frayed sock,
Worn and made holey by
Those who call themselves “Holy”.
Pious preachers of morals
Where are the Ethics?
Where are there Ethics!
Afraid of the Body
They see only the shoddy
And not the pure Beauty of
The human bootie.
Bravo. Bravo.
UPDATE:
Don’t miss Feisty’s poerm in the comments. (~Preston)
May 15th, 2006 at 1:21 pm
Groovy. (snap snap snap snap snap)
My sole is a lemon sole.
With lemon pepper and way too much butter.
It is delectable.
Yet high in calories.
Oh, damn the God-believers.
They always ruin everything.
(snap snap snap snap)
May 15th, 2006 at 1:34 pm
Beautiful!
May 15th, 2006 at 5:01 pm
I trudge down the streets
A glaze in my eye
Looking for Preston
But he never comes by
Am I not worthy?
Am I not pretty?
Damn you Vogue
Damn you Elle
Damn you Playboy
May 15th, 2006 at 5:06 pm
(snapping of fingers) cool, cool (more snapping), cool, cool
May 15th, 2006 at 6:54 pm
That was glorious in a ‘wish it was parody but sadly isn’t’ sort of way.
May 15th, 2006 at 7:00 pm
Damn, I thought it was serious. I feel silly. You see guys, I actually was an English major in college, so I ran across such creations all the time in school.
So accurate, it fooled me.
May 15th, 2006 at 7:03 pm
Maybe I’m double posting here, but I feel silly because I at first actually thought that was a ‘real’ poem. As I was actually an English major in college, I had to read such stuff from classmates at times.
May 15th, 2006 at 7:12 pm
No worries man. The Hatemonger’s will be thrilled that the bad poetry succeeded so well!
May 15th, 2006 at 10:59 pm
There are a lot of shameful things one can do in college. But the ones commited to paper, film, and audio tape can really keep a girl up at night. The worst of these is bad poetry. The cure for this shame is either massive amounts of alcohol, or the reading of poetry that is worse than your own. AAAHHH. I may be able to sleep tonight.