NBA player drunk, watching porn before crashing into parked car.

Finally. An NBA player I can relate to.

Did you know Hamas did not kidnap an Israeli soldier this week? Well, you’d be a fool to think so. Israel kidnapped him themselves probably. Bill Kristol’s got him whisked away in the back of a synagogue in some of that much ballyhooed Israeli-occupied territory in Washington, DC. With the help of the Project for a New American Century, they’re planning on stealing back the land they forcibly ejected their own settlers from and gave back to the Palestinian monsters in good will.

What were the left-wing crackpots in Management at Channel 2 thinking when they hired this crypto-nazi? When they said Doppler Radar picked up a Stormfront moving across the Mid-State area, this isn’t what I had in mind::

World War iii

Les Jones asks, “Have you noticed that war has broken out between Israel and Hamas over the kidnapping of an Israeli soldier?”

Yes, I did as a matter of fact. Lemme just give a friendly shout-out to Hamas. If you iced this kid, do me a favor and hide the body and deny involvement ’cause I’m really not ready for a World War.

If the kid dies, Israel will come back on you. Then Syria could get brought into it and then, well, it’s on. Things will be done that can’t be undone. The sick thing is that there are people who just can’t wait for something like this to happen.

Deny involvement? We’ll set aside that last part where those wily Jews are luring Hamas into attacking their territory and kidnapping soldiers and settlers. It’s real hard to deny involvement after you come out and taunt the Israeli government by saying:

Abu Mujahed, spokesman for the Popular Resistance Committees (PRC), said in a statement that Israel should stop wasting time if it wanted to resolve the crisis over the abduction of Corporal Gilad Shalit.
[...]
The spokesman did not say who was holding Shalit after Sunday’s raid by three militant factions an army post near the Gaza border. He set out three scenarios.

“Possibility one: the missing soldier, for one reason or another, is dead and maybe there is a morgue available for his body or maybe there is not,” Abu Mujahed said at a news conference.

“Possibility two is the soldier is still alive but is suffering a serious injury. Medication might be available or might not be available …. Possibility three is that he is fine but that a long time will pass (before he is released).”

Who is he kidding? The displaced, illiterate Jordanians that make up Fictional Palestine probably killed Gilad Shalit before their trembling goats knew they were gone. Otherwise, they would have already thrown up some video showing him alive, handcuffed and bound. The settlers were probably killed days ago and so was Shalit. Honestly, do we go to the zoo and expect to see the animals eating with utensils and minding their table manners?

Harder still when Hamas claims to be firing chemical warheads into Israeli territory:

A spokesman for gunmen in the Gaza Strip said they had fired a rocket tipped with a chemical warhead at Israel early today.

The Israeli army had no immediate comment on the claim by the spokesman from the al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigades, an armed wing of Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas’s Fatah movement.

The group had recently claimed to possess about 20 biological warheads for the makeshift rockets commonly fired from Gaza at Israeli towns.

“The al-Aqsa Brigades have fired one rocket with a chemical warhead” at southern Israel, Abu Qusai, a spokesman for the group, said in Gaza.

But perhaps I’m being unfair. To make it even and as a public service, I feel morally obligated to let everyone know that Channel 2 will be holding a special 4th of July celebration at the statue of Nathaniel Bedford Forrest off I-65 before they begin some fireworks of their own.

Keep it real, dog. Real racist.

UPDATE: CNN is reporting that an Israeli doctor has seen Shilat and has had the opportunity to treat him but that this “has not been independently confirmed”.

Who can be suspicious enough when the PRC spokesperson posits he’s either dead or dying (or maybe not)?

The day of celebration continues – The Jawa Report appears to be back in action. The withdrawal symptoms were starting to take their toll on me!

One of the great drummers of all time was born today in 1948. Wikipedia says of him:

Heavily influenced by Buddy Rich, Ian is one of the few hard rock drummers who uses swing and jazz inflections in his powerhouse style. He is also left-handed, being one of the few who play on a totally left-handed drum setup (another example is Phil Collins). Many left-handers either learn to play right-handed (e.g. Ringo Starr) or adapt their technique to suit a right-handed kit.

He brought forward from a previous generation of rock drummers the tight, precise playing and crisp, clean sound of the best of his predecessors but added power, formidable speed and technique to create a unique style and sound giving the best of both worlds. . . .

Ian is also one of the few rock drummers who has mastered the one handed roll.

You can see him doing the one handed drum roll here. But since I’m not a huge fan of the drum solo, I’d rather listen to Ian Paice’s work alongside his band Deep Purple in their heyday.

Modern Drummer selected “Burn” as one of the “Top Twenty Drum Tracks of the Seventies,” to which I would say, “just the seventies?” I love that song.

Here is a video of Deep Purple performing “Burn” in 1974. If you love cool drumming, classic dinosaur rock, or cheese, you should all get a kick out of it.

Happy Birthday Ian Paice!

The American Spectator’s David Holmes posts today about harassing phone calls and death threats being made by way of the Huffin’glue Post and one of our own local numbnuts, Agent Orange over at “Democratic” Veteran:

I gleaned from ‘CIA BOOK of DIRTY TRICKS’ Don’t get mad, get EVEN.” Minutes later, at 2:19 p.m., “YvonneMoorhead” repeatedly pasted SatanLivesinUSA’s comments on that page and on another Huffington Post post. Elsewhere, in February, YvonneMoorhead had posted, “F*** em, they died for the greater Isreali [sic] goal of stealing more land by having its proxy America invade Iraq and next Iran.”[...]
After the contact information was posted on the Huffington Post, the harassing calls increased in frequency. Saturday afternoon Lonsdale received another call, “congratulating” him for “ruining our country.” In the early hours of Sunday morning, Van Odell received three calls, he told TAS, at 1:47 a.m., 1:48, and 1:50. A man calmly told him, “I want to know why you lied about John Kerry… Traitors must die. We will get you. You can’t get away with this.”

As James Taranto is fond of pointing out, John Kerry was in Vietnam for 120 days (and recommended himself for purple hearts after shooting kids in the back) and has yet to release his military records that he promised to over 500 days ago. Who knew a self-confessed war criminal wouldn’t keep his promise?
That’s the magical thing about Vietnam. Somehow only the people who brought their cameras and minders like Al Gore and John Kerry are “war heroes” and everybody else deserved to be spat on, kept from getting jobs upon returning from the war Donks drafted and shipped them to, and are now worthy of death threats – of which, Corporal Klinger over at Democratic Veteran still posts their home telephone numbers on his website and is no doubt happy to be the conduit for.

The Swift Boat Vets worked because they were telling the truth. I know, I know – it’s a novel concept. They banded together 30 years after John Kerry slandered them in the Congressional Record as being wanton murderers and built a career off of his lies by the clam chowder sucking camelotophiles of the People’s Republic of Massachusetts before trawling the funeral home parking lots for some easy squeezing and a big purse.

You want to attack them on the issues? Have at it. The election was about 20 months ago and most of us have gotten over it. But quit calling them up in the middle of the night to make death threats to their six year old grandkids. It’s the least that the Sgt. Secretaries and Private Pencils of the Office Depot Commandos can do before unfurling their Mission Accomplished banners over a defaced Afghanistan war veterans’ funeral plot this 4th of July.

/CHICKENHAWK!

This one just screams white trash — and it is White Trash Wednesday. This story and WTW go together like chocolate and peanut butter. Peaches and Herb. Freebie and the Bean. Tango and Cash. And so forth.

Cooperstown Mayor Danny Crosby has a lot to be proud of besides his hat and shiny badge. He’s got a track record of creating speed traps, profiling members of the U.S. Armed Forces, violating civil rights and child labor laws, planting evidence, ordering the arrest of political opponents and threatening citizens. That’s just the beginning.

More from the Smoking Gun:

I say ticket all the illegals you want, but once you start profiling our military personnel, it’s time they took you out back for some Tennessee Justice™.

You can see the whole complaint at the Smoking Gun.

as to why I don’t mourn when I hear of a “journalist” getting caught in the line of fire…

I do try not to chuckle, though, so don’t call me mean-spirited.

The execution of Sedley Alley almost didn’t go off last night as expected:

Alley had been granted a last-minute stay by a federal judge just after 11:00 p.m. Tuesday night, just two hours before he was originally scheduled to be executed.
But the stay was quickly lifted by a panel from the same court.

Just because you’re wearing a long, flowing robe doesn’t mean you’re God, ok? The anti-death penalty agenda of an activist judge should not overrule all of the juries and judges before them. This is a bizarre machination of a rogue judiciary that likes to legislate from the bench what would never be passed in a state congress or by the voters. And worse, feel that no repercussions, like impeachment, will be coming down on them for their capricious behavior.

One down, one to go: (more…)

“The State called no witness and offered no countervailing proof, expert or otherwise,” Campbell’s order continued.

With the wave of his hand, as if to thwart the Will of God and the Law of Man….stop me if you’ve heard this before.…a Clinton appointed, former Al Gore counsel, Federal District Court Judge halted the slated execution of serial killer Paul Dennis Reid because the State of Tennessee did not try to prove a negative that doesn’t exist. Hours before the Execution.

Why does the State need to keep winning a case that was already won???

Just for future reference, if a killer’s mental capacity is in that dire need of re-evaluation – why wasn’t it explored before the trial? During the trial? Or during the several years after the trial? Why mere hours before the execution after the friends and family members have gathered AGAIN to finally see justice be served? And subverted, again.

Isn’t that a cruel and unusual punishment predicated on nothing more than judicial showmanship?

At issue is the mental capacity of a man who has only been convicted of killing 7 fast-food workers. He’s killed more. He’s only been convicted of 7. He was under investigation for the murders of 7 other fast food workers at a Palatine, Illinois chicken joint.

What makes a man crazy? (more…)

This is long overdue.

Connecticut Senate hopeful, Ned Lamont is securing his seat on the garbage truck of history, next to the dustbin of history, by surrounding himself with the creme de la creme of ballot box poison.

Barbra Streisand, George Soros and Markos Moulitsas are all lending their hands to the continued success of radical Liberal politics where the highest achievement, nay the raisone d’etre is to defeat Bush.

Editor’s note – The use of French phrases were added to produce a certain Kerryesque je ne sait quoi.

Ultra

An open letter to two kind commenters.

I accidentally deleted your comments while trying to approve them.

You know who you are. We know who you are. Let’s leave it at that.

With sincere apologies,

-The Management

Roger Cadenhead is a big liberal. On the “editorial board” (whatever the fug that means) of the Drudge Retort, self-confessed One Life to Live aficionado, and writer of many posts that end in an exclamation point (that means it’s supposed to be funny or important but frequently neither).

Regardless, somebody must have left the toilet seat up after they ripped him out of some blog ad money cause he’s coming up Trotsky against the Kossacks:

I’ve been trying to pin down MyDD founder Jerome Armstrong’s stock-related activities in 2000, when the SEC alleges that he touted a Chinese Linux company called Bluepoint on Raging Bull without disclosing that he’d received $20,000 in stock from the company’s management.
Though Armstrong’s message board postings related to Bluepoint are no longer available on Raging Bull, I found dozens of messages on the InvestorsHub site in which he promoted a related company before a merger, never revealing he was issued 25,000 shares in the deal.
[...]
From September 2000 to March 2002, Armstrong posted 95 messages using the account myDDdotcom on AccessTel’s InvestorsHub board. He predicted great potential for its technology and a big increase in price, deriding critics as “bashers.” He never mentioned his relationship with the company, which was formed by some of the same executives who created Bluepoint.

On the same day as the merger, Armstrong announced that he had just bought 250 shares of the company:

“… i did DD call quite a bit this weekend, and am satisfied to continue holding, patient for their plan to become widely known. Today I just bought a whopping 250 shares in my son’s (Jackson) educational IRA that I just set up for the toddler, hope it grows as much as he is.”

Look out for guys named Ramón, Rog. If The New Republic’s a bunch of neocon traitors you’re just a few skips away from The Great Townhouse Cracker Purge of 2006.

Playing up that you’re buying a “whopping 250 shares” while not revealing that you own 25,000 shares for a company where you know the owners and that’s now worth fractions of a penny. Is it legal? Maybe. Is it ethical? Definitely not.

Cadenhead ends with MyDoubleDouché bragging about how the SEC usually doesn’t care about some frauds for trying to sucker people into infusing cash into a failing company – but dragging his poor, little son in it? That’s just wrong.

Et tu, Douché?

If the entire thrust of Cadenhead’s post wasn’t just a continuation of his Thursday post to send up red flags to save Atrios or Talking Points Memo from getting shook down for rough sex, I could have given it a higher review.

And as entertained as I may be by the internecine bloggertory infighting spurred over Astrotard Armstrong, I’m condemned to issue a respectable 3 out of 5 cat scratches.

(via Jihad Watch)

The hypersensitive queens at CAIR are up in arms over the fact that the seven terrorist-wanna-bes in Miami are being linked to al Qaeda and the peaceful religion of islam.

So, though they pledged an “oath to al Qaeda and plotted to create an Islamic army,” they had no ties to islam. Well, aside from their desire to blow shit up and murder as many American white devils as possible, this group’s cult bares little resemblance to the religion of peace.

Are these seven terror suspects or the
front seven of the Miami Dolphins defense?

UPDATE:

The hysterical homos over at CAIR are apparently complaining to the Feds about commenters at LGF as well as many other blogs across the freedom loving fruited plain (h/t PW). I guess they’ve gotten their feelings hurt due to some of the harsh reactions to their terrorist attacks, child killings, honor killings, goat raping, tortures, beheadings, the list goes on. Perhaps they’ve even fallen down the stairs and their shoes fell off.

Here’s a personal message to CAIR from this third-tier blogger: why don’t you shitkickers go and find the nearest rusty iron rod and cram it so far up that blood comes out. And feel free to call that hate speech, because I hate you sunzabitches and your attempts to silence the freedom of expression that we wouldn’t have if we lived under your inhumane and impotence-inspired sharia law.

UPDATE 2:

Hey CAIR, any comments about this? I’m sure they were just misinterpreting all that slaughtering infidels stuff in their wacky book.

Inspired by ABC News.

Michelle Malkin is having a poster contest built around the classic WWII theme of “Loose Lips Sink Ships.”

They are made in honor of the ever-vigilant anti-Bush New York and Los Angeles Times for exposing the CIA’s financial transaction surveillance program.

Here is our submission – dedicated to the hard working Stop The ACLU.

UPDATE:
Sombody Help Me has a great roundup of these posters too.

UPDATE 2: Lemme grab a spot or two in here, Cranky – smantix

Keep your eyes on the prize!

More Sheehan = More Gold Star Mothers

Thanks Pinch, For Putting Us In a Spot:

He’s no Walter Pincus:

… to be able to see this video again. It feels soooo good.

Witness Pete Townsend blasting into his artistic and angry pinnacle. Truly a sight to behold.

It’s interesting to note that The Who had passed their Won’t Get Fooled Again prime by nine years or so at this point. Who fans were beginning to think that the band might be getting too old as these rockers were approaching 40 years old.

I thought if MTV ever sold their videos similar to the subscription music download services, I would personally make them rich.

So do any of you uber-geeks know how to save these videos to MP3 or DVD? I’ll be your best friend forever.

I think annika meant to cross-post this gem but forgot to.

You’re welcome.

Remember. Someday your children will ask you, “where were you when you heard that Aaron Spelling passed away. Remember.

An amusing echo swirled around the narrow bowl of the NitWittery yesterday. Seems some people think the word “liberal” is a pejorative. In fact, we must never use the word “liberal” anymore – it’s gotten that radioactive!

Iyt’s offical. With Ann Coulter out on the couch circuit whoring her book, I’ve decided that “’iberal” is poison. No good can come of its usage in today’s public political discourse (such as it is). It is time to wrap the term in anchor chains and roll it overboard.

It is time, fellow liberals, to blow up the clown.

Provided, of course, that you realize that you are the clown.

The term was once meant to embody a mindset of open thinking, tolerance and overall optomism at the importance of good intentions and human kindness to change the world. Now, within the current sociopolitical universe, “liberal”has become everything unattractive about humans, Americans in particular.

Liberal has come to mean, among other things, entitled, impractical, socialist, morally relativistic, whiney, self-serving, selfish, exclusionary, insufferably holier-than-thou, cowardly and anti-”American.”

Liberals want everything for free. Liberals want to work less for more benefits, be provided free medical care for life and fiull every job with a less-qualified but more derserving-du-to-a-history-of-marginalization applicant. Liberals do not hold people and ideas to any solid standard of judgement. Liberalism is the soft underbelly of a democratic society that can only exist because of hard-shelled conservatives who are willing to take the kidney punches. Liberals hate God.

So let’s lose “liberal” and cast a wider net. Let’s call ourselves Progressive.

Yep. Sounds like you know some liberals. But this is a terrific Kerryworthy contortion. An admission/non-admission. Acknowledging that you have a problem without addressing what the true problem is.

This was hardly some sweet, eureka! moment, epiphany. As David Horowitz noted back in 1997:

Of all the misnomers of our political vocabulary, “progressive” is the most abusive and the most abused. “Progressive” is the accepted term for the political left today, just as it was 50 years ago, when it was used as a self-description by Communists and fellow-travelers who sought its protective cover even as they supported the most oppressive regimes in human history. In the later years of the Cold War, it was the term of choice for liberals as well, who thought that the Soviet system was “converging” with Reagan’s America, just before the Communist fall.

One of the more interesting characteristics of progressives is the way they seem to learn nothing from their experience, confounding the very idea of progress as a process of escaping from the myths of the past and acquiring knowledge. Today, self-styled “progressives” can be found supporting economic redistribution and state-sponsored racial discrimination, or memorializing the death anniversaries of totalitarian legends like Che Guevara, just as though the history of the last 50 years had never taken place.

In keep with today’s lavatorial laughtrack:

More than 50 toilet cleaners will be promoted to “restroom specialist” upon completing the three-day pilot course taught by Japanese experts in the latest toilet technology, The Straits Times reported.
[…]
“Cleaners have low morale and low skills,” the paper quoted Jack Sim, the World Toilet College’s founder, as saying. “We want to professionalize them and teach them to be proud of their jobs.”

Whether you’re a toilet cleaner or a restroom specialist. Be you a liberal or a progressive. You’re still doing a crap job no matter what you call it.

(Prisyadka! To the Head NiTwit)

We girls just shut the door and do it. You guys have your own system of ettiquette that doesn’t make a hell of a lot of sense to me.

But I guess that’s the price you guys pay for being able to pee standing up. And not having to wait in those huge ladies’ room lines at clubs. Dang, I hate those.

Did you hear the one about the insane customer service rep and the guy trying to cancel his subcription?

My only question is, how did the customer get hold of the audio.

I remember when I was just a pre-teen, how hot I thought Dana Plato was. But I always reminded myself that, if I had the opportunity to meet her, she wouldn’t give me the time of day. She was a TV star, I was a nobody. So my love for her would never be reciprocated, no matter how many fan letters I wrote her.

Well guess what, Dana, now you’re dead. Guess I got the last laugh, because I’m still alive. Take that and so forth.