Six Meat Buffet » Blog Archive » Susan Sarandon, Enemy of Nature

Susan Sarandon, Enemy of Nature

June 13th, 2006 at 11:05 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

In a tragic revelation, Susan Sarandon recently revealed that she was nearly killed by a dolphin during an “encounter” in the 1970s.

Susan Sarandon was nearly killed when she was attacked by a jealous female dolphin. In the 1970s the star was invited by writer Timothy Leary to interact with dolphins in a San Francisco, California, lab and she struck up a bond with a friendly dolphin called Joe. The Oscar-winning actress was enjoying holding onto Joe’s fin when the mammal’s jealous mate suddenly lunged, taking a chunk out of her wrist.

She tells PageSix.com, “After he trusted me more, I took hold of Joe’s fin and we glided around the tank together. Then Joe stopped swimming horizontally and pushed up against me. I thought the whole experience was just groovy until I felt this horrible pain on my wrist, which was holding Joe’s fin.

“I could hear them (researchers) shouting, ‘No, Rosie! Don’t!’ I looked over and Joe’s mate, this huge dolphin I hadn’t even noticed before, was virtually standing up right out of the water, towering over me on its rear fins. She seemed to be 12 feet tall, emitting this loud, high-pitched noise. The attendants were screaming, ‘We’ve got to get you out!’ I was afraid I was going to get my other arm broken.”

This latest plea for attention from Ms. Sarandon isn’t as pathetic as it is telling (though it is certainly both) – even the gentle creatures of Mother Earth hate her stinkin’ guts. I can just see her waking up in the middle of the night suffering from dolphin terrors. Stay strong, Susan, stay strong.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 13th, 2006 at 11:05 am and is filed under Cavalcade of Whimsy, Entertainment. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

3 Responses to “Susan Sarandon, Enemy of Nature”

Smantix Says:
June 13th, 2006 at 6:19 pm
You know…this post prompted me to look into our little Tuna Party hostess and her tail (of whoa) from the sea.

She’s gonna be the big Six Aught this October. Happy Bicentennial Mrs. Washington.

Somebody needs to check the expiration date on her can. Provided that they can read Roman numerals.
heldmyw Says:
June 15th, 2006 at 5:49 pm
Why Lord?

Why do I not feel any shock, surprise or disgust at the fact that…

…100% of the male dolphins who have met her, consider Susan Sarandon primo ’strange’ dolphin snooch? AND that their girlfriends recognize it as well?

My brain just nipped down to the corner pub for a large perspective-and-soda. I think I’ll have a bit of a lie down…

(Not since High School, when a friend informed me that the ‘fishiest’ smell in the world was ‘anchovy pussy’ have I been so aquatically weirded out.)
Smantix Says:
June 15th, 2006 at 9:43 pm
The Timothy Leary part threw me.

Dammit, Janet! and The Erotic Flipper Acid Test.