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It’s Time To Take A Stand

June 14th, 2006 at 9:09 pm by Cranky

A great American philosopher once said, “Democrats are the party of government activism, the party that says government can make you richer, smarter, taller and get the chickweed out of your lawn. Republicans are the party that says government doesn’t work, and then they get elected and prove it.”*




We’re gonna TAKE THE COUNTRY BACK! But we need your help!

Join the Insufferable Prick Party as we offer Americans a true alternative to government that serves its own interest.

Here is your chance! Help us define a platform, develop slogans and send Washington a message this November.

Please submit your ideas in the comments section.

Samples: “Tired of your representation? This year, you can stick a prick in there.” -Doug

A billboard ad. From Kevin

Thanks to Andrew Kaduk for the logo.

Thanks to Vinnie for leading by example.

Thanks to Sharpy for creating the original inspirational Republicrat logo.

Note to Little Miss Attila and Linda: Yes, you girls can be Insufferable Pricks too. You don’t have to be a pre-op tranny, post-op tranny, hermy or generic transgender to join the party. Chicks can be Pricks too (since it’s really metaphorical and all…).

Platform Positions

(Feel free to help us develop our platform)

Gay Rights

What makes you think we care where you stuff your man-yams? With the $700 million we won’t earmark to move railroad tracks, you will be able to buy a locking door. Go nuts.

Climate Change

There is nothing more sanctimonious or arrogant than a polar ice cap. We say bring back aerosol spray cans and freon so we can show the planet who’s boss.

Education Reform

Teachers must be capable of passing the same exams as the students.

We’ll leave behind “No Child Left Behind”.

Vouchers aplenty… and they can be used to escape inner-city hellholes.

Gitmo

A length of rope with every Koran and prayer rug.

Gun Control

Don’t make me shoot you.

Illegal Immigration

You wanna mow lawns for a living?

I did NOT say land mimes!

Death Penalty

Chair, needle or noose – pick one.

Firing squads are very appealing, and cheap.

Energy Policy

Enough windmills in Kennebunkport to make the Dutch blush.

Enough oil wells in ANWR to make the caribou mush.

More people died at Chappaquidick than Three Mile Island

War in Iraq

The Insufferable Pricks vow to end this PC war.
Our goal is to fight a real war.
Get the troops out of Iraq and Afganistan.
Invade Iran.

First Amendment Rights

This right must never be impinged upon, even in cases of flag desecration or “protesting” military funerals. In fact, we will extend the First Amendment to include administering a “beat down” on funeral protestors as a legitimate expression of free speech as well.

Chickweed

Definitely against.


Campaign Slogans

Insufferable Pricks: When all of the other pricks have gotten too soft for positions of power.

(Kevin has broken out his Jesse Jackson Rhyming Whiggity-Whack Box for the following):

*Welfare – Au Contraire!

*Taxed for dying – You must be lying!

*Judges can’t make laws – The Constitution contains no clause’
(plural, but it doesn’t rhyme well. This one should be primarily used at hippie drum circles because of the slant rhyme.)

*Close the borders – and break out the mortars, or We don’t want to whine – so line our borders with mines!

Insufferable Pricks: Pumping for oil in ANWR… and your mom.

The Insufferable Pricks- A Pig in every pot, and a Prick in every… District?

We have a hard-on for a common sense method of leading our country!

UPDATE: Join the Insufferable Pricks Party Blogroll!

* Parliament of Whores, P.J. O’Rourke


51 Responses to “It’s Time To Take A Stand”

  1. Preston Taylor Holmes Says:

    Oh baby, it’s on now.

  2. Riehl World View Says:

    Open Mouth Insert Both Feet…

    Talk about making things worse. She goes from calling him a slave to an Uncle Tom to a hair ball. LMAO People would be better off voting for this insufferable…

  3. Vinnie Says:

    Woo-hoo!

    A length of rope with every Koran and prayer rug in Gitmo!

  4. Vince Aut Morire » Blog Archive » Lead, Follow Says:

    [...] Or get out of our way. [...]

  5. Andrew Kaduk Says:

    Insufferable Pricks: When all of the other pricks have gotten too soft for positions of power.

  6. Kevin Says:

    Hmm, you have some very persuasive slogans here. But… I mean, I really hate chickweed…

  7. Little Miss Attila Says:

    The Time Has Come….

    I just hope that either women can be honorary pricks in this party, or that there’s an auxiliary organization for Arrogant Cunts (’cause I have friends . . . you know)…….

  8. basil's blog » Blog Archive » Picnic 2006-06-15 Says:

    [...] Preston Taylor Holmes (Six Meat Buffet) offers a new choice at the polls. [...]

  9. LeatherPenguin » I’ve Been a Member for Years! Says:

    [...] at least, that’s what a lot of people have been telling me….Six Meat Buffet » It’s Time To Take A Stand Filed under: Politics Comments: [...]

  10. Something... and Half of Something Says:

    Can a girl be an Insufferable Prick?…

    Yeah, I think I qualify. It’s Time To Take A Stand……

  11. Hector Vex Says:

    I’m in. I got nothing better to do and I’m loaded right now anyways.

    How about a stance on alternative fuels?

    God didn’t kill the dinosaurs so we couldn’t use their remains to fuel our gaz guzzling SUV’s. When you see that soccer mom backing into a mailbox because she can’t see, remember – that’s an act of God. Driving a Hybrid will only assure your place in Hell.

    Too religious? Dunno. How about Illegal Immigration? That’s a tough one these days.

    What do you think is going to cost you more? Buying health insurance for your wetback dishwasher, or hiring some black guy instead, who will work half as fast, steal twice as much and then not show up to work?

    Or even simpler:

    You wanna mow lawns for a living?

  12. Hector Vex's Infotainment Says:

    Insufferable Pricks in 2006…

    Of course, leave it to Preston to take politics to yet another new low….

  13. Tim Says:

    When in doubt, write-in ‘Charlie Brown’ and let the government spend the rest of the year counting ballots.

  14. Vinnie Says:

    Unrestricted harvesting of trees containing halfwit Hollywood has-beens and smelly hippies.

  15. LindaSoG Says:

    re: Illegal Immigration

    I\’ll mow my own damn lawn.

  16. Dummocrats.com Says:

    It\’s time to take a stand: join the Insufferable Prick Party…

    It\’s time to take a stand: join the Insufferable Prick Party…

  17. AnonymousDrivel Says:

    Education reform (NCLB)

    Teachers must be capable of passing the same exams as the students.

    We’ll leave behind “No Child Left Behind”.

    Vouchers aplenty… and they can be used to escape inner-city hellholes.

  18. Kevin Says:

    Woohoo, andti-chickweed! Finally a party that knows what’s important!

    Here’s some rhyming slogans for the IPP:

    *Welfare – Au Contraire!
    *Taxed for dying – You must be lying!
    *Judges can’t make laws – The Constitution contains no clause’(plural, but it doesn’t rhyme well. This one should be primarily used at hippie drum circles because of the slant rhyme.)
    *Close the borders – and break out the mortars, or We don’t want to whine – so line our borders with mines!

  19. chip Says:

    I’ve been thinking, and there’s no way this is gonna go over as a slogan for a national party, but here it is anyway.

    The Insufferable Pricks- A Pig in every pot, and a Prick in every… District?

  20. The Unabrewer Says:

    Gun control — Don’t make me shoot you.

  21. AnonymousDrivel Says:

    Death Penalty
    Chair, needle, or noose. Pick one.

    Energy – Renewables
    Enough windmills in Kennebunkport to make the Dutch blush.

    Energy – Non-Renewables
    Enough oil wells in ANWR to make the caribou mush.

  22. Agent Bedhead Says:

    Insufferable Pricks Semi-Anonymous…

    ……

  23. Vinnie Says:

    The Insufferable Pricks vow to end this PC war.

    Our goal is to fight a real war.

    Get the troops out of Iraq and Afganistan.

    Invade Iran.

  24. The Jawa Report Says:

    ***Breaking, Must Cite Jawa Report***…

    A viable 3rd party has been established to challenge the status quo. Do you have what it takes to be one of us?……

  25. Vinnie Says:

    Oh, and thank you Cranky.

    Crisis averted.

    :mrgreen:

  26. Merri Says:

    Um….

    On the ACLU: If they cancel Christmas and rip down our crosses we’ll shove them up their asses!

  27. michele Says:

    I. P. Standing Up.

  28. Preston Taylor Holmes Says:

    Now I know that ain’t true.

  29. sig94 Says:

    Death Row Appeals – Firing squads are very appealing, and cheap.

    Oil Exploration – the new 21st century front lawn jockey, hang a lantern on a oil well. Lube it with a caribou.

    Border Control – I did NOT say land mimes!

  30. Aggressive Tendencies Says:

    I Am A Prick…

    I have just found my new political party thanks to SixMeatBuffet…

  31. Lee Says:

    Sorry I’m late.

    Insufferable pricks, pumping for oil in ANWR… and your mom.

  32. UncleTim Says:

    Great Post, I linked you on my blog

  33. dame cecily Says:

    Wood you all rise (with stiff drink in hand)as I toast the forthcoming emergence of the Insufferable Prick Party as a major political player. What a stroke of genius!

  34. LissaKay Says:

    Energy Alternatives – Nuclear Safety
    More people died at Chappaquidick than Three Mile Island

    ——

    When and where is the first convention?

  35. Derek Says:

    The Insufferable Prick Party…

    We’re ROCK HARD (or Have A Hard-On) for a common sense method of leading our country!

  36. Marvin Says:

    foreign policy —
    Save money by combining the State Dept with the Defense Dept. no need for a Sec. of State.

    Agree and support the USA
    or be nuked till you glow and shot after dark.

  37. Billy Says:

    Amendment to the 1st Amendment-

    Any entertainers (i.e. Dixie Chicks)who use their platform (and high school GED) to enlighten us with their wisdom on foreign policy or the military shall be required to repeat such comments in front of an entire platoon of beered-up United States Marines.

  38. The LLama Butchers Says:

    Rites of Spring…

    Every year, at the end of the semester, I put on the bottom of my teaching evaluations whether the instructor showed any bias in favor of any particular ideology or party, and if so, what was it. Most all say……

  39. Theodore's World Says:

    Take Our Country Back ~ Insufferable Prick Party Leads The Way…

    You can read the Platform Positions at his blog…..Six Meat Buffet. This is a must read. hahaha I LOVE it! Join the Insufferable Prick Party as we offer Americans a true alternative to government that serves its own interest.

  40. AnonymousDrivel Says:

    Campaign Slogan

    Insufferable Pricks – The Head of the Class

  41. TomR Says:

    Term Limits

  42. The Unabrewer Says:

    Insufferable Prick Party…

    I have decided to endorse the Insufferable Prick Party, particularly after they endorsed my common sense solution to gun control.

  43. canuck5 Says:

    Social Politics

    Insufferable Pricks – Where the men are men and not called “Metrosexual”.

  44. Sonar Says:

    Land mimes? Do you mean to have Shields and Yarnell patrol the Texas border, Marcel Marceau the Arizona? It’s crazy enough, it just might work!

  45. 7 Deadly Sins Says:

    Pride: I am an Insufferable Prick!…

    I would add the following Campaign Promise:

    An “Ethanol” still in every backyard!

    He said “Ethanol” heh-heh [wink]…

  46. UncleTim Says:

    PORK…It’s not just for Senators anymore!

  47. Hidden Dragon » Blog Archive » Insufferable Pricks Says:

    [...] This is just fantastic! [...]

  48. Jeremy H. Bol Says:

    Two Pary Politics

    The common and continual mischiefs of the spirit of party are sufficient to make it the interest and duty of a wise people to discourage and restrain it.
    ~George Washington~

    Welfare Reform
    We should make a welfare state, move everyone on welfare to that state, then sell it to Mexico on the cheap.

    War on Terror
    Lets make the biggest producers of oil in the world to the biggest producers of green glass.

    First Ammendment
    If you’re going to talk like an idiot just shut up, please.

  49. Cold Fury » Blog Archive » Outrage du jour (with FTR updates) Says:

    [...] Updates, forsooth! At long last, a real-world, practical answer. Dig that platform. [...]

  50. Rick Owens Says:

    I WANT IN NOW!!!!!

  51. joe madda Says:

    Its simple….

    I’m tired of supporting all the lazy bastards in this country. “If you don’t work then you don’t eat” End of story!!!!!

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