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Maybe I Should Have Watched the NBA Finals

June 30th, 2006 at 1:47 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

NBA player drunk, watching porn before crashing into parked car.

(CBS) MINNEAPOLIS On March 30, Minnesota Timberwolves center Eddie Griffin was drunk and masturbating when he crashed his luxury SUV into a parked Suburban outside a store in Minneapolis, according to a lawsuit filed Thursday by the man whose Suburban was hit in the crash.

WCCO-TV obtained copies of 911 calls and store surveillance video of the incident, along with an accident report the police submitted to the state, reports WCCO-TV’s Caroline Lowe.

Several of the 911 callers that night said Griffin was drunk. One witness said Griffin told him he was watching pornography in a DVD player mounted on the dashboard of his Cadillac Escalade SUV when he struck a Chevy Suburban parked on University Avenue Southeast.

The location where Griffin crashed is located a couple miles from the Target Center where Griffin had played with his team several hours earlier.

Abed Hassuneh, who is the brother of the victim, said Griffin told him, “That he was masturbating himself going down that street. That’s how the accident happened because he was not paying attention. He’s paying attention to that video and all of a sudden he’s shoveled somebody’s car on the top of the sidewalk.”

Finally. An NBA player I can relate to.

This entry was posted on Friday, June 30th, 2006 at 1:47 pm and is filed under Cavalcade of Whimsy, Sports. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

9 Responses to “Maybe I Should Have Watched the NBA Finals”

Gordon Says:
June 30th, 2006 at 3:38 pm
was drunk and masturbating when he crashed his luxury SUV into a parked Suburban outside a store in Minneapolis

Man, if I had a dollar for everytime THAT happened…
The Chip Mathis Experience Says:
June 30th, 2006 at 5:36 pm
Ah, The Life of A Pro Basketball Player…

Game’s over, you go have a few drinks, get a little tipsy, drive home in the Escalade, watching the porn, you get kinda… aroused. What’s a pro baller to do?…
Smantix Says:
June 30th, 2006 at 5:46 pm
If you’d bet me dollars to dildos that it was Eddie Griffin from “Deuce Bigelow”, I would have been out some long green.

Is there some kind of stain remover that can remove blood from your grill and the jockey juice from your sun visor without damaging the leather upholstery?
Kevin Says:
June 30th, 2006 at 6:06 pm
See, this is why I hate SUV’s. Have you ever heard of anyone masturbating in a Geo, or a Prius? I don’t buy into the global warming faith, but I am totally against SUV’s. It’s just too easy to masturbate in them.
AnonymousDrivel Says:
June 30th, 2006 at 7:30 pm
…where Griffin had played with his team several hours earlier.

Um, maybe they should rephrase that.
Preston Taylor Holmes Says:
June 30th, 2006 at 8:57 pm
I knew this would generate some good stuff from the peanut gallery.

I love the peanut gallery.
Feisty Says:
June 30th, 2006 at 10:46 pm
I’m pretty sure a black bastketball player whippin’ it out in the car would be the driving equivalent of “obstructive view” seating at a stadium.
annika Says:
June 30th, 2006 at 10:55 pm
“but officer, i swear i thought that was the shift lever!”:wink:
Vinnie Says:
June 30th, 2006 at 11:19 pm
I’ve always wondered why my wife insists on keeping the portable DVD player in the Expedition.