A Dialogue With A Toad I Moved To Safety While Mowing The Lawn
July 1st, 2006 at 8:35 pm by Cranky
Toad: Food? Food? Food? Food. Food. Food? Danger! Danger! DANGER!
Me: [stops the mower] Whoa, almost ran over you little fella.
Toad: DANGER! DANGER! DANGER! DANGER! DANGER! DANGER! DANGER! DANGER! DANGER! DANGER!
Me: [scoops up toad]
Toad: DANGER! DANGER! DANGER! DANGER! DANGER! DANGER! DANGER! DANGER! DANGER! DANGER! [urinates on self and my hand] DANGER! DANGER! DANGER! DANGER! DANGER! DANGER! DANGER! DANGER! DANGER! DANGER!
Me: [gently places toad in nearby woods]
Toad: DANGER! DANGER! DANGER! DANGER! DANGER! DANGER! DANGER! DANGER! Danger. Danger. Danger? … Danger. Danger? Food. Food. Food. Food? Food? Food.
Me: You’re welcome.
July 1st, 2006 at 8:46 pm
He never once said Ribbit?
July 1st, 2006 at 11:26 pm
Dude, you rock.
July 1st, 2006 at 11:33 pm
That kind of reminds me of this:
Badger Badger
July 2nd, 2006 at 2:35 am
Ain’t that just like the French.
July 2nd, 2006 at 12:47 pm
As a very amateur herpetologist I can tell you this. Frogs have only three modes; Can I eat it? Will it eat me? If I can’t eat it and it can’t eat me, can I have sex with it?
So Preston, I think I would have heard the “ribbit” if option three applied.
Anonymous Drivel, yes, very much like the French.
Billy, LOVE the badgers, but not enough to ribbet for them. Did you see the “football” version of it?
Wuz, thanks!
July 2nd, 2006 at 1:44 pm
Sunday Funnies…
image courtesy of faithmouse
Blonde Sagacity has comic relief.
Potfry reports on GE’s newest innovation.
The Nose on Your Face has the yoga champions.
Point Five reports on the SCOTUS decision rebuking Bin Laden for overstepping executive auth…
July 2nd, 2006 at 3:30 pm
who let that danged enviromentalist in here?!
July 2nd, 2006 at 6:22 pm
Loved it!
July 2nd, 2006 at 7:24 pm
Yes…saw the “footie” version…but I couldn’t bring myself to watch it after England’s loss…
Full disclosure…someone had that on Sobek’s site about 3 months ago and I couldn’t get that dang Badger song out of my head. I hope it invades someone else’s brain now…
July 2nd, 2006 at 8:51 pm
[...] And now for the best apolitical blog posts on the web! Conservative Cat explains that Some Memoirs are Best Forgotten Stingray tells us Why Some Dogs Attack Their Owners. Steve The Pirate explains how much he hates his alarm clock. The new Communist Google. Six Meat buffet shares A Dialogue With A Toad I Moved To Safety While Mowing The Lawn. Slack Lalane expresses his Thanks For The Free Parking. Regret The Error has Another One-Of-A-Kind Apology From A UK Tabloid. Jack Lewis reports that Ohio cracks down on illicit, Amish “raw milk” cartel. [...]
July 3rd, 2006 at 12:12 am
Cripes, I’m still smiling over that.
July 3rd, 2006 at 4:08 am
“Frogs have only three modes; Can I eat it? Will it eat me? If I can’t eat it and it can’t eat me, can I have sex with it?”
Cranky
Cranky,
Are you sure you aren’t talking about men?
July 3rd, 2006 at 6:43 am
What happened to the warmongering, hateful person that we used to love?
July 3rd, 2006 at 6:53 am
SC: Are you sure you aren’t talking about men.
That may be the reason I like them so much.
What happened to the warmongering, hateful person that we used to love?
Digger, my friend, if it helps think of me as the James Bond villain who strokes his pet frog while dumping my henchmen into a pool of bubbling acid.
July 3rd, 2006 at 10:18 am
Over the weekend, we had our 2 yr. old niece over for some fireworks. Before we began, we were playing in the yard and having a good old time.
It was then that she discovered a frog. For the first time ever. She was fascinated with this strange, wet creature.
She picked it up, looking at it intently. Wide eyed and full smile she looks up at me with all the wonderment only a 2 year old could possess.
The frog proceeds to jump out of her hands. She screams in joy and jumps to try and capture him again.
She takes a step, and
*Squish*
The horror on her face shoulda been in pictures!
July 3rd, 2006 at 9:22 pm
What A Toad Thinks?…
“Cranky” over at Six Meat Buffet has a very humorous take on what a toad must be thinking when a well-intended person rescues it from certain doom…….