Global Warming Causes Door of Hebrew University to Spontaneously Combust
August 3rd, 2006 at 3:50 pm by Preston Taylor HolmesThis is the part of the blog where I channel a generic anti-American-Associated Press reporter.
Flash! Door Bursts Into Flame at Hebrew University – Man-Made Record Summer Temps Likely Culprit.
The incident occurred about 2:45 p.m. yesterday. Agent Donny Moses, a city police spokesman, said the female employee alerted maintenance workers who came and extinguished the small fire and then alerted authorities.
The loud noise was likely a coincidence as brutal summer temperatures continue to batter the East Coast. Decades of industry and the overconsumption of fossil fuels has increased greenhouse gas emissions, which have, in turn, resulted in record temperatures this summer, undoubtedly causing the incident in question.
“At this point, there’s nothing that would indicate that this is a hate crime,” Moses said. “They have problems with juveniles in that area.”
It’s obvious that authorities are in lock-step with the other global-warming-deniers who refuse to accept the reality that our planet is heating up and it’s mankind’s fault. This is NOT a hate crime. This is a heat crime. And the criminal in this case is years and years of neglect by big business and big oil.
August 3rd, 2006 at 5:41 pm
I thought the Jews controlled the weather.
August 3rd, 2006 at 10:46 pm
And the World Trade Center collapse was NOT a terrorist attack. It was ALSO the result of the Bush Administration’s grand plan to create world chaos through global warming (see also Katrina, Indonesian Tsunami, Zarqawi’s “spontaneous combustion” and the Chicago Cubs…
August 4th, 2006 at 9:12 am
Did you see that Pat Robertson is joining the Religion of Global Warming? No word yet on which religious principles take precedent when the two theologies are contradictory.