Bill Clinton Turns 60 – A Nation Yawns
August 19th, 2006 at 10:55 pm by Smantix
Has everyone given Billiam Jefferson Blythe Clintard his birthday spanky, yet? Given him one to grow on? Let him have his cake and eat it too?
And some just need to get off their knees – you’re embarrassing yourself.
For those of us not confusingly enamored of The Somehow Geriatric Boy Ex-President, the prospect of him facing his mortality has become not so much a wet dream conceived in a fever of trying to piece together the serial numbers in Vince Foster’s handgun as it’s now a public relations coup by the incessantly self-involved Boomer generation genuflecting on “60 being the new 40″.
Newsflash. Just because Cialis and Levitra make one wrinkled-y part of you feel like it’s 40 again doesn’t mean it’s any prettier or right. It’s unnatural. You’re still just a bunch of gray ball-haired, loose skinned, gallstone passing horndogs sporting an anachronistic boner over a girl the same age as the daughter from your first marriage. I say this out of love.
And don’t kid yourselves, gramps – the new 60 is still the old 60. Check the mirror in your Buick.
August 19th, 2006 at 11:46 pm
Aw c’mon. I’m trailing Clinton by just a few years, and young guys are still hollering at me and trying to pick me up. It’s a conspiracy, of course. Using the oldies stations. Rock music has kept the boomers young. It has shaken the debris of age out of our bodies. Everything but the free radicals. I guess that’ll finally get us.
August 20th, 2006 at 12:59 am
Rock music shakes everything loose Donna.
Those kids hollering? They want you to turn your blinker off.
I say all this in jest but the sexualization of the social security crowd has gotten a little creepy for my freewheelin’, Depends-may-care tastes.
When you’re 60 (hell, if I’m 60 – anybody 60), you should have found that special someone – the only one – you will ever have to torture again with your naked person. There shouldn’t be any 60 year old men fumbling for protection with their arthritis fingers. No thong Depends.
Must. Stop. Images.
August 20th, 2006 at 9:40 pm
Ha! I lived in Atlanta for 30 years — I don’t use blinkers.