Remembering Katrina, Vol. 3
August 28th, 2006 at 9:09 pm by Preston Taylor HolmesWhen I think about the tragedy of Hurricane Katrina, my heart is warmed-over like so much stew at the thought of the scores of concerned celebrities who came out of the woodwork to help the afflicted. Whether it was Sean Penn in his rowboat, rescuing people from rooftops, or Kwame West and his telethonic mumblings, never before have so few done so little for so many.
Most of all, I am again moved by Celine Dion, who so generously offered for hurricane victims to touch her things.
Yes, we gave $1 million but what we expect, what I want to look like the rest of the world, I open the television there’s people still there waiting to be rescued and for me it’s not acceptable. I know there’s reasons for it. I’m sorry to say I’m being rude but I don’t want to hear those reasons.
You know, some people are stealing and they’re making a big deal out of it. Oh, they’re stealing 20 pair of jeans or they’re stealing television sets. Who cares? They’re not going to go too far with it. Maybe those people are so poor, some of the people who do that they’re so poor they’ve never touched anything in their lives. Let them touch those things for once!
Aaaaah… sweet memories.
August 28th, 2006 at 9:53 pm
Preston, I have not bought or listened to any of Celine’s music since she made those moronic statements. Nor the Dixie Broads, either. My taste in music definitely made a turn for the better after I ditched these hos.
August 28th, 2006 at 10:26 pm
let dem touch dose tings!!!
my vote for most make-funnable celebrity quote of 2005
August 28th, 2006 at 10:32 pm
Ah, yes… Anti-gun Sean Penn, with 12-gauge on the floorboard of the boat, and kevlar vest on (instead of a lifevest), sporting his Bruebaker sunglasses and molester moustache. Bailing water, no less, since he and his crew of fellow dingymates forgot to put the damn plug in the hull before lowering the boat into the water.
As Mike Church http://www.mikechurch.com would sound drop “Survey says… DUMBASS!”
August 29th, 2006 at 1:04 am
Lesbians can be dumber than rocks
August 29th, 2006 at 9:04 am
joe, I’m so disappointed that you’ve ever even listened to a Celine Dion CD. you really need to seek some counseling.
August 29th, 2006 at 10:14 am
The best part of her interview was when she yells, “take a kayak. Go into those walls.”
August 29th, 2006 at 10:45 am
Cool. So now I guess that means she’ll be touring TX, LA, MS, AR, and AL for her unwashed peeps… for free… because they’re still poor and they’ve never touched stadium seating with the cascading aura of a star.
This will be so exciting. Of course, the cannibals, er, attendees need be sure to bring their own corpse for snacks since the leftovers from last year are long gone.
August 29th, 2006 at 1:54 pm
Joe could use some thunder-from-down-under therapy.:grin:
August 29th, 2006 at 4:03 pm
I don’t know why musicians and actors think their profession gives them some deeper insight into human suffering that all of the rest of us unenlightened people just don’t understand. Writing woeful songs about suffering and expanding their fan base with it. And telling them how many millions they’ve spent, and what leaders they despise, how hopelessly apathetic we all are, as they sip appletinis out of Prada slippers. If I want to hear about suffering, I’ll ask a five year old in Darfur. I have nothing against success, I have problems with people who are swimming in success acting as if they are drowning in it. Party hard, give to your favorite charity and shut up.
August 29th, 2006 at 8:59 pm
My heart is also warmed over. Like … uh, stew..
I guess.
August 29th, 2006 at 10:03 pm
Michele, well said. What I don’t get is people depending on government to cure their ill’s. Hell if my house floated away with family members inside. I would have to ask myself….how could you be so fucking stupid?
I hope the next hurricane hits dead on to these crying son of a bitches….wipe the state off the map.
August 30th, 2006 at 10:21 am
Michele, I couldn’t agree more. And to add insult to injury, most of these so-called “stars” never graduated from high school! Yet somehow, they are the experts?
Yeah, that includes our little Celine Dion. Educational status: High School Dropout.
August 30th, 2006 at 10:35 am
Well, c’mon. Celine thinks you can “open your television” and “take a kayak and go into those walls”. Just another shining example of entertainment-related illiterati.