Just came across this gem. Good Stuff.

I hadn’t been watching MadTV after the first season. It seemed that they rapidly went downhill after that.

When MadTV started, I was thrilled that my childhood Mad Magazine was coming back. They had some real talent in the first season. David Herman (Michael Bolton of Office Space), Orlando Jones and Nicole Sullivan were part of the cast.

Their high quality movie spoofs were outrageously funny too. See if Gump Fiction doesn’t have you laughing out loud.

Because our loyal fans demand it – Our obligatory Foley post.

Rep. Foley is a scumbag. No ifs, ands or buts about it. But why does ABC protect the identity of his chat buddy?

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A lesson in slavery and reparations over at Darleen’s Place. She deserves a piece of the pie as well, ye class-warriors and poverty pimps.

Or does her skin color not fit your agenda?

UPDATE:

Excellent comment from Michele.

It’s the Hottest Mom in America contest.

If I didn’t think it was beneath her, I’d enter Mrs. Holmes because she’s smokin’. Oh well… she’s too busy anyway.

Of course there is a photo gallery. Looks like this is where I’ll be spending my web browsing time for a while. See you later, blogosphere!

Yeesh! Safe for work but not advisable right after lunch.

If this is indeed the logical progression for “anything goes” liberalism, then I guess there is something to be said for slippery slope arguments.

Isn’t there any middle ground with these people? Is it either this or rigid Islamic law?

I bought this guitar for Preston Jr. six months before he was born. It took him nearly four and a half years to destroy it.

And here I was, hoping beyond all hope, that he would become the next Tracy Chapman, allowing me to live my failed dreams vicariously through him.

It was not meant to be.

From Mike Lester with Cagle Cartoons:

The sports world was rocked this morning as news of the bashful and introverted alleged Wide Receiver Terrell Owens was rushed to hospital after what authorities are calling “a suicide attempt”:

The friend, who is not identified in the report, “noticed that (his) prescription pain medication was empty and observed (Owens) putting two pills in his mouth,” the police report said.

The friend attempted to pry them out with her fingers, then was told by Owens that before this incident he’d taken only five of the 40 pain pills in the bottle he’d emptied. Owens was asked by rescue workers “if he was attempting to harm himself, at which time (he) stated, `Yes.’”

“Friend” = Random Skank #2 with an itchy 9-1-1 finger

What some kids will go through to get out of their contracts. I usually give The Tuna the benefit of the doubt when landing a carp like Owens but given the way T.O. ripped off San Fran and Philly this looks like a PR attempt for the most overrated receiver of the decade to make another couple of million without having to do his job.

5 pills does not a suicide attempt make T.O. Especially for someone so void of any traces of self-loathing. Some of us call that “any other night”. For your $25 Million (boohoo) contract, we’d be inclined to say every night.

Try running across the middle once in a while and I’ll start re-evaluating whether you have a death wish or not, Princess.

Compare-n-Contrast UPDATE:

MORGANTOWN, W.Va. – Two miners whose jobs included watching for safety hazards inside the Sago Mine before the deadly explosion last January committed suicide in the past month.

Neither man had been blamed for the disaster that killed 12 of their comrades, and neither one’s family has definitively linked the suicides to the accident. But those who knew the men say there is little doubt the tragedy haunted them.

Not unlike the tragedy of being benched while collecting a fat bankroll.

RANDOM SKANK SNITCH UPDATE: Random Skank #2 has now been identified as his publicist.

Wow. Talk about getting your client good press. All this morning, co-workers of the female persuasion have been down on me because I don’t understand all of society’s pressures that are placed on poor T.O., that he was abused as a child (?), and that chirren from all over the world look up to him. For reasons other than his height. And I should not judge him until I’ve swam a lap in his Olympic size pool.

As Deion Sanders reports (didn’t see that coming didja?) – that Owens claims “man, that didn’t happen”. There’s going to be a press conference if anybody feels the urge to feed The Ego That Ate San Francisco.

I really think too much ink has been wasted on this whole Clinton vs. Wallace brouhaha. However, it’s instructive to remember the last time Bill Clinton wagged his finger in the face of a respected journalist. It was November 18, 2004, and the interviewer was the late Peter Jennings. Only that time, Jennings escaped being called a monkey by Keith Olbermann.

It’s evident that Clinton still carries a humongous chip on his shoulder, as this video illustrates so well. It’s therefore not surprising that he’d lay into Chris Wallace as he did. What is surprising, to me at least, is that anybody even cares what Bill Clinton says — about anything.

h/t Hot Air

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It appears that the AARP – of all groups! – have joined my Stop the Vote! campaign.

They’ve done so by creating a site called dontvote.com. I saw an ad for this earlier this evening and couldn’t believe my freakin’ eyes. I assumed it was some gimmick aimed at reminding seniors to get out and vote for anyone with a “D” by their name, because the other guys are going to take away your social security and make you eat dog food.

But, no. It’s a site that actually recommends that you “Don’t vote unless you know where the candidates stand on the issues.” Will wonders never cease?! Good for you, bluehairs. Finally, some common sense from your demographic.

This is really good stuff.

If a dealership did that around here, I’d make damn sure that I bought my next car from them. Hell, I may even make the short drive up to Cincy and buy a Mitsubishi when my ’72 pinto finally gives up the ghost. Fatwa Fridays! Indeed!

Gee, thanks CAIR. If anyone knows about issuing Fatwas and waging Jihad, it’s you pussies. Why don’t you send yourselves to western civilization sensitivity training? Maybe that will help you dislodge your heads from your collective rectum, you hypersensitive pansies.

h/t Canuck

Would you entrust your nation’s security to people who feel that the United States brought 9-11 on itself? What if an opportunity to remember the those murdered in a terrorist attack was used to present alternative viewpoints which often decry American aggression and global malfeasance?

You might get this.

I wonder why elected Democrats feel this way about our country?

Given their drothers, we might be facing worse. Something like this:

Ace has much more.

UPDATE: The story is gaining traction. Hot Air has video from Fox News.

In other news, Eric Foner has volunteered to move the monument to Columbia University. (OK, I made that up).

UPDATE II: The Professor X to my Wolverine, Sean Gleeson brings on more AZ Memorial Moonbattery.

More pix here: Macker’s Moonbat memorial!

The Anti-Wall Street Journal injects another performance enhancing anabolic editorial into its thigh in their Olympic quest for the record distance in borderjumping with an increasingly tepid (and self-defeating) racebait against those of us who support a physical barrier between us and the barrio:

But on Sept. 14 House Republicans passed a bill to construct a 700-mile, double-layered fence along the Mexican border while also approving a study on building a similar wall-like structure along the Canadian border. Price tag for the Mexican portion: $7 billion.

$7 Billion? That’s almost real money. Seeing as how illegals soak up an estimated $22 Billion or more in services every year, this one time cost would pay for itself...if it stops just one illegal.

Where else is this logic sound? The Drug War for one. Federal, local, and state officials spend upwards of $72 Billion a year to fight this unwinnable “war” but the Journal doesn’t deem that 10 times as expensive annual extravagance at the expense of our civil liberties as being worthy to rail against on their opinion page.

We are paying the government 10 times more a year to tap our phones, monitor our e-mails, confiscate our money and property (without a trial), no-knock raids on your neighbors, and building more prisons to criminalize millions of our own citizens and our Border Benedict Arnolds have the nerve to complain about $7 Billion to keep out illegals.

A “drug problem” that would not even be possible were it not for the same market forces that magnetically draw our Mexican interlopers to El Norte. You want to fight the drug war, well, illegal aliens are the footsoldiers buzzing in their own Berlin Airlift of coke, pills, and pot.

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Sometimes manning the Buffet is a thankless job. Then something like this happens. This Thursday, I’m working the mail room – sorting out Smantix’s penile enlargement meds, Preston’s Florida real estate seminar tapes, etc. when this package arrived.

There was no return address, so if I had any common sense, I would have called the FBI or flushed the package. However, it was addressed to Toad Blogging c/o Cranky.

What could I do? Like a child on Christmas morning, I ripped the package open and found the above snapshot and this movie (warning, slow load times – hardcore Toad Blogging fans only, please).

Thanks again to Doug.

Nation of Islam cult-leader and murderer of Malcolm X, Louis Farrakhan, has unknowingly allowed the Jews to spread the cancer, previously confined to his diseased mind, to his prostate and the eerily hasidic-looking Grim Reaper is waiting to collect on his soul like an invoice from an attorney – 120 days past due:

In an open letter to members, the 73-year-old said he was suffering pain like that he had felt in 1998 when he was diagnosed with prostate cancer.

He requested that his followers carry on with his movement after his death.

He supports African-Americans having their own nation and is regarded as one of the most controversial and charismatic African-Americans alive.

He has also been accused (emphasis: mine) of being an anti-Semite.

He revealed his health problems in a letter on Friday to Nation of Islam members in its newspaper, the Final Call, in which he compared his health problems to those of Fidel Castro.

A multi-millionaire that’s sequestered away from the flocks he’s fleeced for decades like a wretched dog curled up in a corner? Refusing to let a camera get a peak at the horrors God has cursed upon his mortal frame for the plague of his existence?

Yep, sounds like Castro.

Do the world a favor, Calypso – abandon Mothership Earth for that great Anal Probe In the Sky that you claimed gave you the cosmic high colonic back in the ’90s.

Uh…yea. I’ll have an order of the runny eggs hanging on a rusty nail.

Umm..with a side of flapjacks.

(Wonderbra snap to that sissy Drudge)

Baby dies after falling in a bucket of mom’s puke.

She loved her baby enough to kill her. Now, that’s love with a capital-L. They should find a big bucket, fill it with puke and dispose of the mother in the same fashion. This would undoubtedly be a great loss to society, given the mother’s current and future societal contributions, but I think we would find a way to move on.

We’ve come upon yet another Football Friday. Last week’s hangover is over and it’s time to strap it on (no, not that, Feisty) and toss the pigskin around again. And you know how we like pigskin. And pork rinds. And what-not.

Anyway, my friend Chris sent me this column on men shaking pom-poms at football games and it really got me a-thinkin’. Especially since I’ve been known to hoist a shaker or two in celebration of a touchdown/sack/interception/beating in my day. Really, how gay is it to shake a pom-pom, and is it really unique to SEC men?

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Islamic terrorism needs to be smashed unmercifully. I don’t think there is a 6MB reader that disagrees with that. Screaming guy (here) is the perfect embodiment of all that is wrong with Islam.

That said, we must acknowledge that there are many Muslims here in the United States who have nothing to do with the madness which seems to be engulfing the Middle East.

Here is a great case in point:

We have family friends who moved here from Egypt. They both have earned PhDs in the sciences and live in a McMansion. Our children are very close.

They are my reminder in my most furious moments that even though I support the war on Islamic terror, I cannot paint the entire faith with the same brush.

Oops, I left something out. What would a Cranky post be without a requisite slam against Loonie Lefties?

Unquestioning support of the “brown people” by our immature friends on the Left does no service to moderate Muslims.

Many Muslims do not speak against the violence because they fear falling victim to it themselves. I wonder if on a campus somewhere, a Muslim is not speaking up against violence because a white “Support the Insurgency” idiot is showing is solidarity with the terrorists.

You know that drinking fountain in the hallway between the men’s and women’s bathrooms?

I hate when I’m drinking from it and I hear a toilet flush and then the water pressure in the fountain drops.

I hate that.

Earlier this week, I heard something on the way to work that sent me into my usual morning rage. I was listening to Hal Hill’s show on WNOX (because I was feeling particularly milquetoast that morning…) and they announced that they were giving away $1,000 to some randomly chosen voter.

That’s right, $1,000 cash will be handed out to some lucky voter, plucked at random from the voter lists after the election. Have we truly fallen this far? It certainly seems we have.

I’m sure there were thousands of mental deficients listening to the show thinking to themselves, well isn’t that nice. What a nice idea to get people out to vote… All it did for me was make me want to run down pedestrians at random in a blind rage with my ’72 Pinto.

It’s bad enough that the Donks bus irresponsible voters to the polls from the caverns in which they lurk, but to encourage the lottery classes to go vote because they might win some money is nothing short of criminal.

There are countries where simply going to the polls will get you killed. But the fat-assed Oprah-watching cretins in the USA need some type of handout or bus ride to exercise the cornerstone of their evaporating freedom.

Not only is providing financial incentive to voters shameful, we should go completely in the other direction. We need to develop some type of baseline certification exam for voters. Nothing too complicated – just a short questionnaire on U.S. Government, History and Current Events. Something so easy that even Sean Penn would have a reasonable shot at passing.

Voting is a responsibility that should be taken seriously. If you’re calling in to vote for American Idol, there should be some mechanism in place to stop you from voting in elections that actually count. Low turnout numbers are a good thing. The lower the turnout, odds are, the smaller the percentage of irresponsible voters.

Really, lottery classes, do the rest of us a favor and stay the hell home. We don’t want your uninformed asses at the polls – STAY HOME.

Also see Stop The Vote 2004 Election Edition

UPDATE:

Swap Blog reports that the $1,000 idea has been canned. Good.

Thai enthusiast Murray Head is reported to be distraught over yesterday’s Thai coup, where chess pieces were strewn all about Bangkok with little regard for the rules of the game. In response to the fairly peaceful military takeover, Head was quoted as stating that he “gets his kicks above the waistline, Sunshine.”

For the record, this is not the first Murray Head reference at the Buffet.

It’s been a while since we’ve had a WTW post, but this week’s news cycle is just full of white trash everywhere you look. Today’s episode will be a veritable celebration of human debris – not the funny kind, but the scum-of-the-earth-should-already-be-dead kind.

First, let’s take a look at multiple-child-killer Daryl Keith Holton. A sympathetic hero of the Tennessee leftosphere, Holton had a “special” day with his kids (and his stepdaughter) in 1997, which resulted in his incarceration.

I’m sure the kids’ ghosts are tickled-me-Elmo pink at the stay of execution he’s received from the 6th Circuit Court of Appeals. The pro-criminal justice system has no time to consider Stephen, Brent, Eric and Kayla’s side of the story. They’re too busy legislating their own nauseating political agenda from the bench, taking away Holton’s right to choose the electric chair as his method of discharge. Because… wait for it… he’s… mentally ill! This handy label instantly absolves criminals of any responsibility for their actions. What a great racket the pro-criminal lobby has put together over the last several decades.

If they don’t get to fire up Ol’ Sparky and send this piece of shit to hell where he belongs, let’s hope he’s allowed to spend some time with the general population at Riverbend, where he may be fortunate enough to get the Jeffrey Dahmer treatment. After a long period of repeated prison rape, of course.

Speaking of the right to choose, it’s 2005′s Reproductive Rights Superstar of the Year runner-up, Carissa Marie Roraus. Carissa, who explained it all by wrapping her newborn in swaddling plastic and dumping her in an I-75 rest-stop trash can, has also gotten a slap from the silk glove of the pro-criminal American justice system. Because… wait for it… she’s mentally ill!

Roraus, for exercising her blessed right-to-choose and self-administering a late-term abortion, has been labeled insane by the criminal “justice” system. Isn’t this an affront to progressive women everywhere? Isn’t the right-to-choose the holy sacrament that defines just how truly sane and heroic a modern woman truly is?

At least Knoxville’s single males have a hot new target to shoot at, since Carissa will be spending time at our own Lakeshore Mental Heath Institute, not far from the heart of Bearden.

Guys, if you want an easy mark with no consequences, get ready. Carissa’s comin’ to town and you won’t have to worry about paternity tests nine months down the road. I would recommend Michael’s or the Electric Cowboy – I’m sure she’ll make herself available once they decide she should be set free, which shouldn’t take long.