Football Friday

September 15th, 2006 at 10:22 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

Yeah, I know it’s late today, but as the Mayor of Carter Country used to say, “Handle it, handle it…” First a shot from last week’s Air Force game…

First and foremost, we have the big game. I’ve got a good feeling about this one. Despite our defense’s performance last week, I believe the Large Orange are going to find a way to pull this one out, 29-22. Considering I went 5-0 last week, there’s no possible way I could be wrong.

However, one guy who is wrong is Rusty. Nebraska will lay the wood to USC in much the same fashion that donors laid the cash in the hands of Reggie Bush and his family. Nebraska 26, USC 20. Elsewhere…

• Auburn 31 LSU 27 – Auburn’s white guys will bomb LSU’s levees.
• Notre Dame 34 Michigan 21 – Notre Dame is for real this year – and the Big Blue is just another Big Ten shitpie. Chow down, Maize and Blue.
• Louisville 35 Miami 20 – The mighty Hurricanes will be too tired from snorting frosty rails off of hookers’ racks to get the job done. Cards win. Brohm throws for 700 yards.

In pro ball…

• Chargers 24 Titans 20 – Billy Volek’s new team will give him one last beating for good measure. Titans will be late to the game because their team bus will get lost and none of them speak Mexican.
• Colts 33 Texans 17 – Thank goodness we’re down to one Manning now. Unfortunately, the fact that the Texans have the coolest logo in the league won’t help them pull this one off.
• Dallas 22 Washington 18 – I remember way back in the 80’s when this was a good game. Terrell Owens will wipe his bare ass on the goalpost after catching a TD.
• New Orleans 31 Green Bay 3 – New Orleans will blow up Brett Favre’s already leaking levees.
• Steelers 27 Jaguars 20 – Pittsburgh’s performance last week without Big Ben was inspirational. I expect them to continue their winning ways.

That’s it for this week. I won’t be going to tomorrow night’s game, but will be enjoying it with a whiskey in front of the TV. There may or may not be running commentary. And that’s a promise.

This entry was posted on Friday, September 15th, 2006 at 10:22 pm and is filed under Football Friday. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

8 Responses to “Football Friday”

1. the Pirate Says:
   September 15th, 2006 at 10:49 pm

   I’d consider taking Nebraska to cover.

   Oh and I will be watching Steelers-Jaguars only because of the meny quote from Jag’s QB Bryon Leftwich: “I’m not a slow quarterback, I’m just the slowest black one.”

2. Billy Says:
   September 16th, 2006 at 12:30 am

   Preston…I am SO hoping you are right with that Nebraska pick. Assuming you can see my email address, you should easily figure why…

   But you got the Charger/Tits game wrong. No way Tennessee stays within two touchdowns…

3. john h Says:
   September 16th, 2006 at 11:05 am

   Ok, I now believe in N. Dame, but I’m not believing that the Huskers can shuck the only professional football team in the LA area.

   I’m down with the rest of your picks and would like to add that Vandy will educate the unwashed Razorbacks by at least a touchdown.

4. Preston Taylor Holmes Says:
   September 16th, 2006 at 11:34 pm

   Well, go ahead and call me Mr. Wrong Guy. I’m waiting.

5. Billy Says:
   September 17th, 2006 at 12:13 am

   Not gonna kick you when you are down, Preston…

   Losing games like that make my nuts hurt…

6. john h Says:
   September 17th, 2006 at 8:28 am

   I’m giving up ever commenting on Notre Dame again. I felt strong about Nebraska losing, and I was being my typically deluded self to think that Vanderbilt could actually win an SEC game they should’ve won. I was at the game, and I can testify that Houston Nutt lives up to his name. Vandy coulda won the game, but as usual, something came up short.

   I hope you are as wrong about the Titans as you were about U.T. (but I doubt it!)

7. Smantix Says:
   September 17th, 2006 at 9:48 am

   I have little to say about Fulmer’s follies in the Florida debacle as I used up my quarterly allotment of curse words last night.

   But hey. What do I know? When Florida keeps running plays to the right because Justin Harrell only has one arm, it’s best to let them keep running over him so that he can wear the uniform for a few more quarters instead of having a two armed defensive lineman.

   Next year we should have Timmy from South Park on the D-Line. This disturbs me only slightly more than watching the first guy on Kicking/Punting special teams always run past the returner, immediately followed by 4 failed arm tackles and two other players slipping and falling down for no apparent reason. Every time.

   Colquitt should never kick the ball in bounds.

8. Mac Says:
   September 18th, 2006 at 12:46 pm

   Brohm didn’t throw for 700 yards, but backup Hunter Cantwell completed 3/4 passes for 113 yards and a TD.