Lee Harvey Oswald Does The Oscars
September 17th, 2006 at 12:53 pm by SmantixThe High Clerics of Canuckistani Cinema awarded Gabriel Range the much ballyhooed and heavily competitive Bush-hater of the Year Award for his film celebrating the hope that someone will eventually assassinate the sitting US President in the next two years:
Death of a President, which received largely negative reviews, won the Prize of International Critics “for the audacity with which it distorts reality, to reveal a larger truth,” the jury said in a statement.
More like the audacity with which it distorts truth to reveal an alternate reality that leftards live in everyday.
Blame Canada? Now, now…we’re past all that. We’re well into arctic Fuck Canada territory now. Fuck you in your pasty, white, Tarte au Sucre eating, snow puckered asses.
Death to Michael J. Fox.
Wow, assassinating Canadians is like eating Chinese food! An hour from now I’m probably going to want to assassinate another one.
Time – 14:48PM CST
Operation: Chartreuse Chanteuse
Sooo…you screw Def Leppard’s producer?
Operation: Let’s Lynch The Leftard
I was afraid someone might mistake Michael Musto for Jello Biafra and assassinate him by mistake. It was a risk I was willing to take for our national security.
September 17th, 2006 at 1:58 pm
This is yet another reason we need to finish work on my Star Wars missile shield initiative.
September 17th, 2006 at 2:53 pm
The real interesting thing about all this bullshit is that most critics panned it, yet it won the ‘critics’ award from the judges. Apparently politics takes precedent over art at these things now.
Not that I’m too terribly surprised by this, but it is worth pointing out… again.
September 17th, 2006 at 4:02 pm
That is an excellent defense plan Preston. By the time we get it constructed, it will be bombing the Russians who will have already taken over Canada’s oil reserves.
September 17th, 2006 at 4:13 pm
Prize of International Critics Did they just create that award for the brand new “Audacity” category?
It has about as much merit as Jimmah Carter’s Nobel award for saying Bush lied, people died.
It is a self congratulatory gesture which bears an uncanny resemblance to masturbation.
September 17th, 2006 at 5:51 pm
When you do invade Canada, please don’t tar us all with the same brush. I, for one, would be happy to prove my loyalty to my new Yankee overlords by providing a list of traitors … and anyone else I don’t like.
Come on. That movie is a British production. Do you honestly think it wouldn’t receive the same fawning tongue-bath from pretentious, effete, urban, latté-slurping, designer-glasses-wearing, left wing dimwits, if this movie were shown in San Francisco?
September 17th, 2006 at 6:25 pm
rg – if you would like to contribute any San Franciscans to go up against the wall, I’ve got a crosshair waiting and an itchy Photoshop finger.
September 18th, 2006 at 1:27 am
How about Jello Biafra? Unless, of course, he has already expired from the ravages of syphilis? His schtick was over a long time ago. Like, 1968.
Come to think of it, you can have Shania Twain, too. There’s a limit to how much I’m willing to pay for a lap-dance.
September 19th, 2006 at 9:16 am
Jello Biafra is still alive?!? Makes me want to go on a Holiday in Cambodia. Perhaps he should take a Holiday in Teheran. A permanent one.