Spam for Democracy
October 10th, 2006 at 10:49 am by CrankyYou know you’re dealing with a serious candidate when you receive a spam email from his campaign.
Ladeeeeez and gentlemennnn, meet Democrat Talal Arimah!
Truth is, I don’t know much about him since I didn’t spend more than two seconds on his site. This is because as soon as I got there, a video started playing. Our candidate has the righteous angry voice that you don’t want emitting from your cubicle.
However here, in full, is the content of his well targeted email message:
Washington, DC –
Fed up with our nation’s faltering economy Oops, your message is a year too late., the bungled War in Iraq, and the corrupt U.S. political system, Democrat Talal Arimah officially announced his candidacy for Congress in the 2006 elections.
“My fellow Americans,” Talal Arimah announced at a press conference on Capitol Hill in front of jubilant supporters… Also, I’m not an Arab! Don’t let the name fool you.
“I promise to reduce the deficit and lower taxes for the middle class.” Still consulting the goat entrails for the magic formula which does this and boosts social security
“I promise to refocus our efforts to win the War on Terror.” With really great binoculars, you can see the War on Terror from Staten Island
“And I promise a certain special something no other Congressional candidate can.” No, I didn’t add this last line. Our friend may or may not be packing an “October Surprise”. No thank you, I saw the crying game.
Visit www.talalarimahforchange.com or YouTube to view Talal Arimah’s first message to the American people and to find out more about Talal Arimah’s revolutionary new campaign. Great, a revolutionary on the Left. Last time we did that, Chicago burned.
UPDATE: Pwn3d!
Apparently, I’ve wasted my best snark on a hoax, a funny hoax. OK, whoever sent this, please identify yourself!
Note to self, no speed blogging.
Crap!
October 10th, 2006 at 12:45 pm
Dude, seriously. You should probably have watched the whole video. The whole thing is a joke.
October 10th, 2006 at 12:48 pm
Here look at this. No sound will emit from your cubicle, but its NSFW so make sure they can’t see.
October 10th, 2006 at 1:00 pm
Seems to me Gleeson’s got ya, Cranky.
October 10th, 2006 at 1:21 pm
snagged
October 10th, 2006 at 2:13 pm
Cranky has fallen for e-mail hoaxes before.
October 10th, 2006 at 2:26 pm
Sean, don’t you have a day job or something you should be doing?
Thanks for the memory!
October 10th, 2006 at 5:00 pm
“Thanks for the memory!”
That’s so beautiful, it ought to be a song. And Sean Gleeson is my illegitimate son born of a trist with an OU cheerleader. I think that’s right, or I might have been drunk, but I’m claiming him anyway. He makes a father(sniff…sniff) so proud. Or did he claim me as a brother? I’ll go search his archieves.
October 10th, 2006 at 5:16 pm
Ha! You’re now quoted on the joke site’s endorsements section.
October 10th, 2006 at 5:41 pm
Hey JJ, that memory goes back to 2004. That’s 2 blog years, which is something like 45 real years.
Sean is like a brother to me. I don’t want to think of what that might make you.
October 10th, 2006 at 6:45 pm
Joe’s paternal affection for me dates from about the same era. See his comment on Nov. 20, 2004.
October 10th, 2006 at 8:17 pm
I’d rather ride Talal’s 12 Inch Express than McCain’s Straight Talk Express any damn day. At least Talal’s just wagging his dick instead of being one.
October 11th, 2006 at 12:00 am
ROTF! OK, I can almost see falling for the e-mail, but this is on the front page of the web site:
Q. How will Talal Arimah’s 12-Inch Penis help me?
A. Talal Arimah’s Penis will wash your dishes. It will balance your checkbook. It will breastfeed your children. It will do your taxes and find loopholes you never even dreamed of. It will help you quit smoking even as it gets you hooked on amphetamines.
October 11th, 2006 at 1:08 am
Cranky,
Speed blogging is the only way to go…
See, now your “Almost Famous”
October 11th, 2006 at 8:31 am
John, I’m not that smart. Also, I clicked off the site when the audio started.
Did I mention that I’m not that smart?
October 11th, 2006 at 4:33 pm
Alright, I think I got it now, cranky. We’re both Sean’s brothers, but we had different mothers and fathers. At least we ain’t inbred!
October 11th, 2006 at 4:36 pm
Damn, that speed blogging got me, too. I meant Gordon! Not cranky.
October 11th, 2006 at 7:43 pm
Cranky/Gordon No worries, JJ. I go by both.
Just don’t call me “son”.
October 11th, 2006 at 11:24 pm
I wondered why I never see Cranky and Gordon in the same toad sanctuary…